Your Reaction - The Current Alzheimer's Society Advert

[DTCwordfan]

I HATE it.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/news/2024-08-27/alzheimers-society-advert-long-goodbye-back-air

I have written to them, here's my text with a little redaction.

Your 'Long Goodbye' advert is an absolute disgrace and I am thinking about contacting the Daily Telegraph over it. They  DO NOT DIE and DIE and DIE - until the final moment. They lose functionality in a wide spectrum over time but they are still alive and can often respond in more subtle ways.

You as a Society should be ashamed of yourselves as this is not the truth and your staff will well know this.

Even allowing for their functionality declining or disappearing, and in no way is it a straight downward line, they remain 'living people'and family/close friends should be encouraged to do all they can to support their loved one.

The son and ex-carer of my Mater who is in a Home and has had the condition from at least 1994. I've written a book about the caring aspect, xxxxx

FYI, I've raised it as a subject on the media channel 'Answerbank'.

I've asked for their comment but what do you think of it, particularly those of you who have experienced Alzheimers or any other dementia in your family?

[Buenchico]

I regard it an exceptionally well-crafted advertisement, clearly illustrating how many family members feel that they're 'losing' a loved one well before they eventually pass away.

[DTCwordfan]

But they don't die and die - and we have to adjust to their changes, that is my point.

[douglas9401]

Not everyone has your strength, DTC.

[DTCwordfan]

thanks, Douglas, but I would have expected the Alzheimer's Society to be more 'supportive' and give a message of 'there is still hope and love to be had - and make the most of it' - and then 'we're here to support you' as in at the end of the ad.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DTCwordfan]

don't know what I did there? Apologies.....

[Old_Geezer]

You were struck speechless for a long time.

[DTCwordfan]

Perhaps.......

[Peter Pedant]

yeah I agree Chris - it portrays how I feel

die a thousand times without hope

[sunny-dave]

I don't like this advert - not at all. It is juat playing on people's fears and the dread of dementia that so many people have.

As someone with considerable professional experience in providing information about dementia to families and care  staff (and in training those staff in how to provide care), it seems to be peddling only a 'dementia is the end of everything' message - instead of helping people to understand that there *is* still a person there and that there *is* still a point to their life.

Not good enough - go away and think again, Alzheimer's Society.

[Hopkirk]

I'm with Chris, I think it's a well produced advert. I don't really understand your objection to it.

 

[rowanwitch]

It has reflected the trajectory of my mother's dementia pathway,  she hasn't been able to interact with anyone for about 7-8 months now, hasn't recognised me for over a year.  Other sufferers are different, my ex's mum knew her to the end, I have heard the series of deaths description from many families during my career, every significant change a thing to be mourned, and for some eventually no matter how hard you look there is nothing left...just the husk of the person, with a heart that still beats.

[Spungle]

I completely agree with you, DTC, I live with a loved one who was diagnosed with alzheimers three years ago., and I am their carer. Yes, that means they can't remember their spouses' name (despite being married for 58 years), they can't get their sentences out very often, and little things like putting on a cardigan are often impossible.  But we have good days and bad days.  They have NOT died, and we have many glimpses of joy along the way, a grateful smile, a thankyou, a funny moment.  Yes, they are no longer the intellectual, incredibly energetic, eloquent person they once were, but they are NOT dead, they have NOT died, they are very much alive.  I also find the video very distasteful, misleading, and upsetting.  This morning, I was awoken by a bang at 2.45am and ran into their bedroom fearing the worst, only to find them sitting on the bed, smiling, eating chocolate, with the tin on the floor, unaware of the noise, just enjoying the moment.  I did not, for one moment, think of it as anything more than a precious loved one acting like a child, and is a precious memory I am actually grateful for, although I'll be tired later!  Whoever put this video together seems to have had no personal experience of dementia/alzheimers- I'm shocked and very disappointed.

[barry1010]

I feel much the same way.  It's fair to say my oldster is not the person he was, sometimes it is hard to recognise him, he is a stranger. Then he surprises us, a glimmer of his old self.

He is still there, somewhere. We are lucky. We went through a bad patch a couple of years ago for a few months but now he has a good laugh about something every day, and that is enough for us. 

We have never felt that he has died, we have been saddened but not grieved.

On the other hand I have been to funerals and relatives have told me they lost their loved one years ago and have been grieving ever since.  It is a relief to finally say goodbye.

I suppose we are all different and every victim of these cruel diseases are different.  Maybe the advert is true for others.

 

[Peter Pedant]

instead of helping people to understand that there *is* still a person there

yes a different person - and not  someone whose company you wd seek out

[naomi24]

*That is the height of ignorance!

[Spungle]

"yes a different person - and not  someone whose company you wd seek out"

That's definitely not my experience- every moment I spend in their company is precious.  It's like saying, oh, I wouldn't seek the company of a baby because all it does is cries and craps.  While that may be true in itself, to say you wouldn't seek out the company of someone suffering from alzheimers is just ignorant.

[DTCwordfan]

if and when the AS reply to me, I'll copy their response across. We certainly have a Marmite 'love or hate' it situation here....Thanks for the contributions so far and keep them coming! 

[Peter Pedant]

Barry the lucid intervals get shorter and shorter and are a distress in themselves

the  last one: " o god how did I get like this?"

[barry1010]

PP, this is not my first experience of Alzheimer's, thank you - and I don't share your views on the subject

[Peter Pedant]

While that may be true in itself, to say you wouldn't seek out the company of someone suffering from alzheimers is just ignorant.

true but ignorant, yup I will take that

I didnt last long with one wno cdnt enumerate her children ( cdnt tell me how many chldren she had and what their  names were . 0,0). She then went onto insist to her husband that there was no holiday booked the next week and it certainly wasnt Lanzarote