Dementia Sufferers

[DDIL]

Does anyone dealing with them every feel you are being played?

My oldie can tell me every single tablet she takes and in what order but suddenly in a space of 6 hours she will open incorrect boxes on the dossit box and take the wrong tablets at the wrong time.

I know I sound harsh but  she is behaving so differently to other sufferers I have met, if she is as bad as she makes out when we are there I am at a loss as to how she copes when we are not.

[barry1010]

It's possible she is 'playing' you, it's just as likely she is worried about being alone and is hoping for a solution.

My oldster could be quite lucid about particular things - he always knew his national insurance number, service number and date of birth but didn't know how old he was and was confused about most things. He was like the weather, changeable and unreliable 

 

[DDIL]

Thanks, we gave her solutions to her living alone and none were suitable, basically she wants her son to give up work and come and live with her (without me) He told her it wasn't going to happen in that way.

Then the 'bad behaviour' started and the 'self pity' some of her behaviour is obviously down to the dementia but other behaviour we are pretty sure we are being played.

Time will tell - we won't get over for another few months so she will have to get on with it (again I realise that sounds harsh).

[barry1010]

What was she like before the dementia?

[naomi24]

Since you don't live with her I don't understand how you know what tablets she's taking and when.  You can only go by what she tells you and that might or might not be accurate.  Some dementia sufferers do experience periods of clarity - and some people, old or young, do play others.  Probably best you don't live with her.

[DDIL]

She would play a drama a lot, if we had something on she would have an 'incident'.

Naomi, we have been there for 4 days and this behaviour happened whilst we were there - she and the community nurse have never reported issues with incorrect medication being used before quite the opposite.

I have no intention of living with her.

[barry1010]

What sort of dementia has she got and when was she diagnosed?

[Hazlinny]

Does she have a carer or someone pop in from Outreach Dementia when you are not there?

[Rosetta]

Have you had a word with the community nurse who could observe this over a longer period of time when you are not there. Does she get more flustered/ anxious when you and her son are with her. Her memory may vary over and between days, eg if she gets tired, variations in her blood sugar/ hydration levels. She is also more likely to remember medication if she has been on it for donkey's years 

[DDIL]

She has been diagnosed as Alzheimer's and Vascular dementia about 18 months ago and is on medication.

she refuses any care help because she would have to pay for it.

She is very aware of her sugar and hydration levels, we have made the community nurse aware of our concerns.

Its really hard to explain but she can carry out new learned tasks but tasks like using the washing machine she suddenly had difficulty with.

Because she couldn't find a tape measure she accused workman of stealing it. Her inside thoughts that she barely managed to keep in check now flow freely, when we said it wasn't acceptable she said'well I am ill and can say what I want'!

[Barmaid]

Unfortunately, there is no "one size fits all" with dementia.  It is entirely possible you are being played, but this behaviour is potentially symptomatic of dementia.  I have seen some really unusual behaviour in people diagnosed with dementia when their memory seems fine.

The bigger charities provide all sorts of information and I think most of them provide a support line which may help with stuff for YOU.

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/blog/difference-between-dementia-alzheimers-disease

[DTCwordfan]

Good question to what she does when you're not there. The bads news is that things will worsen and there will come a point when the decision about a home will be necessary. The effects of Mixed Dementia or the Big A or Vascular can vary not only by the day but by the hour as you are finding out - but DDI, things will gradually go down hill - how quickly, well how long is the string...it's partly dependent on the the specific type of dementia and now 'they' have identified over 400 tyoes.

Theory is also one thing to their brains early on and practical aspects another dimension, hence what you are seeing/hearing. The way the disease shows can be so varied by the way - what I term as 'a Woolworth's Pick&Mix' of symptoms and with different intensity as it takes grip and things decline from a functionality perspective.

 

I have written a book on this  subject from a carer's perspectives  - it's available on-line (best is perhaps throiugh casover.com) ....and the Ed gave his/her blessing to it being mentioned on AB as, hopefully, it provides some solid advice and experience (and comfort) to folk who have to care for their loved ones/friends. The book is titled 'My Mother has Alzheimers - Am I Going Mad?' Actually she too has Mixed but the title isn't quite as resonant if I was to use that it the title....

[DDIL]

Thanks all, 

I have reports that she is active in the community always well turned out and eating well.

Thanks for the title of your book I will look into getting it.

Barmaid thanks for the link.

She tells us she never goes out but we know that's not true from her receipts.