Any advice please

[pinkiefriend]

My ex came round to visit me last night, we have this kind of relationship where we are trying to stay friends. 2 weeks ago we decided to end it completely and stop sleeping together. We haven't seen each other until last night. Anyway, he says he misses me and thinks about me a lot. He also said that he would be up for meeting up this weekend if i was up for it. I'm not sure, I still have a lot of feelings for him so it's hard for me to say no. I also feel that I will never meet anyone else if he is still about in the background. I'm not sure if I want to meet someone else coz I still like him and love being with him. I'm so confused about the situation and not sure what to do. I do have other things I could do at the weekend but feel like I want to meet up with him. What does everyone else think, we get on well as friends but I know I will want more.

[4getmenot]

I am in exactly the same situation. Is this someone you had a long relationship with? We ar trying to be mates but he still comes over at weekends because he is my best friend. But sometimes I just wanna grab him. But I know if I do he will have a hold over me and I will never move on with my life. But I dont want to ever lose him which I know will make it so difficult when I meet someone else.

[4getmenot]

In fact if you hadnt said your ex was a him, I'd have thought you were my ex. We ended 2 weeks ago too. :-)

[gill3891]

Pinkie,

I think you summed it up in the line 'I also feel that I will never meet anyone else if he's still about in the background...'

My advice to you is this! If there is no possibility that the two of you can get back together, exclusively, and be happy with being together, then don't do it! As you said, how can you meet someone if he's always there in the background.

Plus, imagine how you feel if you two keep having these little 'meetings' and then you found out he's got someone else. My guess is that you would be devastated. Take some time away from him and be with friends, parents, relatives, your dog/cat even. At least until you know how you feel and can control these urges!

It must be hard as the two of you still want to be friends, but if you are sleeping together, then that don't make you friends, it makes you lovers. I don't know him, so I could be very wrong, but it sounds like he's got you right where he wants you, no girlfriend but someone he likes to sleep with when he feels it.

If you still love him and he still loves you, then why not be together? If you can't be together, then my advice is steer clear of him (with the idea that you guys can be friends at a later date) and have fun being a single young female!!!! Hope you get sorted and make the right decision. xx

[gill3891]

I answered to your question last week 4getmenot, keep being strong and I promise you will feel better soon! xx

[laurence2]

hi pinkie, why did you split in the 1st place, as will assist in my answer, but can only assume he clicks his fingers and you come running, your post seems to suggest your besotted by him, but need more info before commenting further

[teag1rl]

I would say don't do it. I have stayed friends with all my exes even after quite spectacular break ups. You say you have agreed to stop sleeping together but are you sure this is likely if you meet up this weekend and say, have a few drinks? I've been there, done it, and even tho the rotten scumbags haven't been out to deliberately hurt me (maybe I'm deluded, but I still believe that) they just cant seem to live without the sex while they look for someone new and like a muppet I've been a very willing participant because it was all I could get from someone I craved so much. It's comfortable, and you both know each other so well, but it's also very lazy and you will end up feeling rubbish.

I wouldn't meet up if I were you, do something with other friends and try to enjoy yourself, it does get easier honestly. Keep busy!

[teag1rl]

PS I'm still friends with them now-you just gotta have time to get over everything properly and it's V difficult to do if you see him all the time esp. if it's just you two together and not in a group of people.