Should i go travelling?

[sammd]

I have the opportunity to go travelling with my friends for a couple of months. My boyfriend is really unhappy about it but he doesn't want to come. We've been together for 6 years, some of it which has been a long distance relationship, but haven't even moved in with each other yet, when all of our friends have houses and we only see each other about twice a week. Is he being unfair saying i can't go?

[SKCOLL]

Yes - if he loves you and trusts you he'll be there when you come back. And you'll come back happier.

GO. If he won't come with you then tough. Remember what's important in life - and happiness is way above work.

[seaborn]

Totally!!!

How does the old saying go - If You Love Someone Set Them Free

It all depends on you feelings about seeing the world and what you feel for him. Do you want to move in and settle down with him yet, etc...

Simular thing happened to me about 4 years ago - My work took me to Canada for a year, my girlfriend didn't want me to go. (we weren't living together either) - I got back and we'd both missed each other so much that we moved intogether 6 weeks later.

You have to ask yourself: Is He The One? Is It Him Forever For You?? - If there answers are no or not sure, then you should go off traveling - you'll only get one real shot at it!! And if it is ment to be, then he'll still be here waiting (& pining for you) when you get back. He shouldn't feel he has the right to stop you just because he doesn't want to go - it's not like you've said "You Can't Come" to him.

You go for it girl!!

Where You Planning on Going??

[CiderMonkey]

i think you could end up resenting him if you don;t go, you'll blame him for missing out. just go. He'll either put up with it because he wants to be with you or he won't. and do you really want to be with someone who tells you what you can and cannot do?

[ronnie963]

go go go!

i'm a single mum and would love to travel, my brother is traveling around Austraila right now and i so wish i could don't let any man hold you back if he loves you he will want you to go.

Absence makes the heart grow stronger.

[Miss Zippy]

If your heart wants to go travelling, then you will definitely regret it if you don't go. If, on the other hand, you're doing it to provoke some kind of reaction from him (e.g. get him to commit to you), then you might be disappointed. He can't expect you to plan your life around him based on the sort of relationship you have. If you don't go and your friends come back in a few months' time full of all their wonderful stories, how will you will feel knowing you missed out on that chance and your life hasn't moved on and you're still plodding along in your relationship? The trip will probably be the make or break of your relationship but, either way, you'll come back a more fulfilled and wiser person.

[treacle84]

Do it. You just have to go else you'll always be wondering 'what if...'

If your boyfriend loves you he'll be waiting when you get back :)

[Ethel]

GO!


Good luck and enjoy it.

[SKCOLL]

I travelled with my partner for 12 months and it was superb. Absolutely no work, 15 countries, 17 American states.......and included the Galapagos and Easter Island.

Do it while you have time...... later you'll have more and more ties that stop you....

[smudge]

If you're not committed to living together quite yet, then I would say go & enjoy travelling with your friends - until you & your boyfriend are ready to settle down together.

It's a shame to leave your boyfirend behind & no doubt you'll miss each other, but you only live once!

Good luck.

[Frankie Babe]

Yes, he is being unfair. First of all its only a couple of months but what makes his behaviour worse is that he could go if he wanted to but has decided to stay behind. I'm sure he's feeling insecure and worried you might meet someone exciting while you're away but that doesn't give him the right to tell you what you can & can't do.

You go grrrl & have a fantastic time! If he loves you he'll be waiting when you get back. Just think how much he'll have missed you & how much snogging you'll have to catch up on...........

[sammd]

Thanks guys - you've all confirmed my thoughts. It's not like we're in a relationship where we see each other 24/7, otherwise it would be harder and you're right, he should want me to go and be happy. It's not for long then i'll be right back here with him. In fact, the time away will probably be good and determine whether it is going to work out long term instead of plodding along as we are. It's going to be hard though trying to convince him. I'm not doing it to provoke anything - i really want to go! I'll be going to Australia seaborn :)

[peterd]

Go for it, I did this with 2 friends years ago one of which was in your same position. His girlfriend didn't really want him to go but she agreed in the end & everything turned out fine. In fact since then they have went travelling together for a few months. Just to add they are now married & have 2 kids so you never know !! You will love Australia

[smudge]

Australia -You lucky thing Sam!

We had the most fantastic holiday staying in both Sydney & Perth. The trouble was, none of us wanted to come home when the six weeks were up & we were all crying on the plane! Great memories!

[Grunty]

I had the opportunity to do this forty years ago and have always regretted not going. I've been able to do a lot of travelling in the last few years, but it's not the same. Do it now.

[Steve_Luts]

Hi Sammd

Generally speaking, you should go for it. I have a saying "regret what you didn't do, not what you did". Your bf doesn't own you, so saying "you can't go" is being a tad controlling.

However, having been in the position of your bf, in a long term long distance relationsip (6 years, 200 miles apart at times, lots of visiting) I've one question - is it you that he objects to going travelling, or the people you are planning on going with?

My gf had a great bunch of mates at Uni, a mixed crowd who I trusted completely - except for one bloke. I could tell he was the kind of slimeball who was always trying to make a move on her behind my back, despite being outwardly matey to me. It turned out in the end that he did make said move, which created a whole atmos when she rebuffed him out of hand. At the time I'd have been happy if she went travelling with any group of friends - except this one bloke, the creep.

Just a thought - your bf may be struggling with his wish to let you go off and enjoy yourself, and the worry that something will happen whilst you are away which will be detrimental to your relationship when you come back. If you are into him enough to want to be with him when you get back, maybe a bit of a heart to heart on the above may clear the air?

Also - some people have the travelling bug, and some just don't - there is nothing wrong with either, its horses for courses, but no one person should impose their views on another. When I was younger with no ties, I could have gone travelling, but had little money and even less desire to do so. Now I'm older with ties and enough saved where I could afford to take a year or so off, I'd love to see more of the world but I don't feel I can because of career commitments - aaarghhhh!!!!!!

Good luck - I'd love to be in Oz right now!!!

[Bohne]

I wish I had that chance, I'd take it!

If you are gone for two months, your boyfriend only misses out on seeing you 16 times.
I think he should be able to handle that.

Also you seem to need some time to think over your relationship (or that's the impression I got from your post), so go for it!

[sammd]

No, it's not the people that i'm going with (they're all girls), it's just the fact that i'm going! He's making it really hard...

[tanzanya]

yes - go or you will regret it later when you're old and all you have are your memories.

[seaborn]

Honestly Sammd - you've had some really good advice here and it's all saying the same thing. Maybe it's time for a break & if he really is making it that difficult for you, maybe that break should be a little more permenant??!!

Obviously I can't speak for all guys, but i do know that if it was me and my close friends and one of us was acting the way your boyfriend is - by now the rest of us would have stepped into to say how selfish we all thought that person was being. We would also go do the reasurring rout, and just generally put that person under our wings and look after them through this hard time. (mind you i'm lucky in having great, strong, sensitive mates!!)

- What do his friends say or think about his behaviour? Do they agree with him?? - Also, why doesn't he want to go??? (even if its just for a short 10 day holiday, to say hi, bring you provisions & make sure your ok etc - it maybe a suggestion you could put to him to help you get him on your side)

As for Aus. - You lucky, lucky thing!

I did North America with 3 of my best mates and then into Canada where i was working. But one of the biggest things you'll see & feel is the sense of freedom, it doesn't matter where you goto in the world, you'll feel freedom (even if it is just for a short while) - Its a feeling I think everyone should experience just once in thier lives!! (after all, we're only here once & we're here now!!)

You just make sure you go out &enjoy every moment of it - And don't forget to update us all on your decition!

(please excuse my spelling - had a very late night in the mountains!!)