urgent boyfriend advice.

[goldheart]

My boyfriend told me Friday that he had a meeting on Monday at 4pm with his boss at a firm they are working for. On Monday I was ringin him from 10.30 it was unusual that he didnt pick up,all day i tried. So tell me what you think: 1. When he finally rang I asked how his "meeting" went and he said "same old b*llocks really" when usually he goes on and on and on about work and who said what 3. Came home but his long hair was all tucked into his t-shirt, which was on inside out. 4. Noticed his back pocket on trousers was slightly sticking out like he not worn them.5. No creases in the back of his knees where trousers always crease (especially the material his are made of) 6. Not one speck of oil or dust or anything on his hands, face or clothes - no smell of oil and his hair neat (although tucked in when he got it out, it wasnt all greasy and rats tails as usual). 7. by this time ive suspected that he hasnt been to work at all - although he left at 5.30 in morning. 8. I went to the bathroom and bedroom to look for his clothes because he has obviously changed clothing during the day, & noticed that what he wore out Sunday lunchtime are missing, so thought they must be in his works van & planned to get the keys later. 9. I confronted him & said that I reckon he's had the day off, he says im paranoid. 10. He said he "was" going for a drink with a friend after this meeting at 4pm but said he told me, but they didnt go after all cos the meeting overan.11. Hid his van keys when I had a bath so I couldnt go and check his van.12. last night when we tried to talk, i asked him again if he had the day off but he said then that he did an estimate thats why he wasnt dirty,so why didnt he tell me that the day before? Does an esimate mean he has to have phone off all day? He says he left it in his van cos he was workin underground where no signal anyway.

[Drisgirl]

goldheart - you know him and I would go by your gut instincts.

If it were me - and it was my man then I would go apesh!t and he would never darken my doorstep again.

It reeks of he's been at it and reverse the roles and he couldnt contact you and you came home with no bra or knickers on and your blouse was buttoned up wrong.

I' sorry but I would be doing detective work just to prove myself right then TaTa!Hate anyone taking me for a fool

Damn tooting I would do all the above - then I might have egg on my face - but I would rather have egg on my face and a fair bit of crawling to do.

[happi_red]

Spaced, it seems to me that you aren't understanding what I am saying. Perhaps you are a little slow?

[emmiefreya]

i would tell him that you've found out that he has lied (by telling you two different things) and that u just want to know WHY he felt the need to lie to you

good luck xx

[goldheart]

Thanks everyone for the response... just want to say, 3 years ago I did find out he was seeing someone, we managed to sort things out and things are (or were great) im not a "wanna be detective" I just think I have gut instincts for certain things and I know him very well and the way he acted was different, and that leads me to notice other things...

I believe I have a right to look through his van or his mobile and if the shoe was on the other foot Im sure that my boyfriend would do the same. I am the sort of person that needs to know one way or the other so I can sort stuff out, I really dread something like this happening again, I said to him before that we can sort anything out, go through anything together, but I wont go through that again. I think he knows he's at last chance saloon so if he isnt doing anything, he hasnt anything to worry about. Im not going on and on about it with him, I brought it up, he knows Im suspicious... things will come to the surface if he's beeing naughty but until then I have to just keep my eye on things - im looking out for myself by any means necessary!!! if he's being sneaky then I need to be sneaky to catch him, simple as that.

Thanks again all.

p.s. snooping around is what we all do isnt it? or am I the only one that is admitting it? If your boyfriend or girlfriend left her diary open and left the house for the weekend, how many would read it? I bet all of you!!!!

[Frankie Babe]

God girl - we certainly don't all snoop around! Any fellas listening - we're not all like that :o) You obviously dont trust him so what are you still doing there? I can understand your insecurity from what happened before but relationships don't need proof to survive, they need trust. Belive me, innocent or guilty, without trust it will always fail.

[Frankie Babe]

p.s. I like to think I would respect my man (& myself) enough not to read his diary. But even if I gave in to temptation, that's a totally different scenario to the one in your question

[4getmenot]

I dont snoop around and never would, I would hate for anyone to do it to me. There should be enough honesty in a relationship to not snoop around. And a diary is a persons private possesion not to be looked at. No matter how you deal with this I hope you sort it out in the end. And i truely hope he isnt cheating. Good luck :-)