distress

[stylinsam]

hi on friday i had to much to drink and ended up fighting with my boyfriends cousin (she was the one who started it) but i did retaliate now my boyfriends family hates me but they dont really no what this girl is like she bitches about everybody even my boyfriends mum (her auntie) my boyfriend and his dad and brother all stuck up 4 me as they new i was in the right but his mum and auntie stuck up for his cousin.

my boyfriend has been really supportive and stuck up for me through anything BUT i dont no whether to end it with my boyfriend because his family dont like me i dont want to be the person responsible for all arguments. if you no what i mean.

i dont want to end it with him as i love him so much i just cant believe evryone is blaming me when it wasnt my fault.

please help im close to tears at work at the moment and dont no what to do?

[sense4all]

Family .... don't you just love 'em. I know you are upset but take a few deep breaths and go with the flow! Read your post again..... your b.f his dad and brother are o.k. Is that 75% of the family? Who knows what has gone on in the past and why his Mum has agreed with (it seems) her sister ....... maybe she has her own reasons for doing this, is she the type of person who can calm a situation down. In which case I would say that by agreeing with her sister she is ( in her own way) trying to prevent a much bigger all family ruck. Also some people just see things differently, I am a thousand shades of grey type person in - a family of people who only see black or white ..... and are highly principled. It's tough when you get the "Consigliere" job for life.( The go-between in the Godfather)

Sounds like the cousin is a right one - avoid her like the plague.... I only go to one or two events a year where my sister's mother in law is present!

[stylinsam]

yeah my bf mum is sisters with his cousins mum

did that make sense?

[jno]

what's done is done, but if your bf is standing behind you, you stick with him too. Try to avoid any events where the cousin is present. If you have to go to one, stay well out of her way and go easy on the drink (otherwise all this resentment is going to bust out).

Also, you could try apologising to his mum; you don't have to admit you were in the wrong or anything, just say 'I'm terribly sorry about the row, I didn't mean to cause a family split, it won't happen again.' It's always good to keep onside with a bf''s/gf's mum.

[stylinsam]

i did apologise to his mum and got her flowers all she said was that i was being daft but i could tell that she was still mad at me ?>

[jno]

never mind sam, the important thing is that you took the first step. Nothing you can do if she's really determined to hate you forever; but my guess is that if your bf stays with you she'll soften up - his opinion will probably weigh more with her than his cousin's; mums are mostly like that.

[peachy3]

u love him eh then neva mind the family it will soon die down or maybe talk 2 his mum & aunt 2 explain the full story!