Just a kiss?...

[4getmenot]

Ok this stems from another question below. Where someone has kissed another person behind their blokes back. Now this may be not cheating to some if it hasn't gone any further then just a drunken snog. But most of you said just to forget about it. So how many would keep quiet about something like this but at the same time go mad if you found out your partner had done this and not told you?

[redcrx]

Oooh heres one to admit to my little sister. Both my ex and I both admitted to kissing someone when we shouldnt have. Im glad we were both honest and we didnt argue about it. It does happen and sometimes its best to be honest.

[bellasasha]

to me, it is cheating...you are sharing intimate contact with someone other than the person you are supposed to be in love with...

i have never cheated on anyone and i never would...i have been cheated on so i know how it feels when it happens to you and i couldnt inflic that hurt on anyone...

to some people a kiss is "just a kiss", but to me its more..a lot can be determined by a kiss

[bellasasha]

** inflict**

[4getmenot]

Thats my exact point. If it is just a kiss surely they can come to terms with that. I have cheated on people in the past but always come clean because I felt so bad keeping it from them and hope that if someone cared enough about me they would feel bad enough to tell me if they did it. And then its made me think if my eyes wandered then maybe I'm not with the right one in the first place.

[maximo]

I think I'd be more upset if my man had a passionate kiss with someone else, than if he just had a meaningless $hag. I've been in enough one-night stands ( some of which did not even involve kissing ! ) to realise that a kiss often means a lot more than a simple drunken fumble under the sheets. Of course I'd be upset in both cases, and I have no idea how I would react to either if it happened again. I was cheated on badly once, and I have very little faith in men now. My guess is I wouldn't be able to trust him again, ever. And I might even sprinkle some chilli powder in his boxers before I throw him out, for good measure...

[Champagne]

I consider it cheating if I were to do it. If I'm serious about a guy then I don't look for attention elsewhere; drunk OR sober.

If a friend came to me telling me that she had kissed another man behind her 4-year boyfriend's back, then I would scold her, but I wouldn't do any more than that. If it was early days in her relationship though, I would tell her not to worry about it, but ask her if she was serious about the guy or not.

[kazzianne]

A hard one,but I agree with Bellasasha - a kiss is cheating as well.If I found out that my boyfriend had kissed somebody else I would be heartbroken.

[4getmenot]

Once bitten twice shy hey maximo :-)

[Jamba99]

Me! And so i know I'm a hypocrite but its always different depending on which side of the equation you are on. I know it meant nothing to me and know I will forget about it soon (mainly because i was so drunk i can barely remember it even happening!). But it will be much harder for him to forget it. If it was the other way round I don't think I would understand how it could mean nothing, and I would never be able to forget it, so if it really did mean nothing to him (as it did to me) then I think its best not to know. I hope this makes sense, don't you think its just impossible to understand when you are the one who has been cheated on? If it went any further than a kiss then I think there is a problem in the relationship so yes you should own up and talk about it but if it really is just a little, accidental, drunken kiss then surely owning up will cause more hurt to the other person than keeping quiet? And i think it depends how you feel after it happens. I hate myself and know that this has made me sure it will NEVER happen again, if I told my boyfriend then he will lose all trust in me which is totally unnessary as it has strengthened my love for him, not the opposite. If on the other hand you feel glad to have got away with it and let it happen again then I thinik the relationship needs looking at.

[4getmenot]

See thats what I wanted Kazzianne you admitted you'd be gutted yet you told jamba99 not to worry about it and put it down to a silly mistake. I think that�s how most people are, one rule for one person, another rule for another. :-)

[stylinsam]

i once kissed another bloke when i was really drunk it was the biggest mistake of my life from what my mate told me it was only alittle kiss not a big snog. but my bf doesnt no and i wouldnt tell him although if he ever cheated on me id kill him. i dont no why i feel like this i think its a woman thing. but i feel really guilty and it was 2 years ago.

[4getmenot]

Jamba99, this was in no way a question to make you feel bad. And I understand that if you didnt feel bad about it then surely you have no strong feelings towards your boyfriend whatsoever. You're right I hate those girls that show off about getting away with it. Why be with the bloke in the first place.

[stylinsam]

and im not trying to make people feel sorry 4 me in anyway i no i made a mistake and if he evr found out i would have to face the consequences.

[kazzianne]

4getme not - I see your point,but what I was trying to say was that Jamba felt so bad about it that if she told her guy then it could wreck the whole relationship.If she was very casual about it then that would be different.As for me,again,if my guy kissed somebody then I would rather not know because if he told me - no matter how bad he felt I would be so hurt and never trust him again.

[Jamba99]

Thats what I mean Sam, as long as YOU know that it was the biggest mistake of your life then surely there is no need to tell the other person. Owning up would mean the other person loses all trust in you for no reason because you now know you will always be 100% faithful, wheras the other person would, naturally, never trust you again.

[maximo]

I only got 2 stars... :-(

[kazzianne]

I didnt get any:(

[stylinsam]

jamba99 the only reason i havnt told y bf is cos i dont even remember the person i kissed i dont remember where i was. all i no is what my mate told me as she was there she said it wasnt a passionate kiss it was a kiss but on the lips. i feel 100% guilty and i would never get so drunk again that i dont remember who i was kissing. i can understand what you are saying though. why lose someones trust if you no that it meant nothing to you, and it will NEVER happen again. i have never cheated on anybody sexually and i would never do it iv been with my bf for 3 1/2 years now and i kised this other bloke 2 years ago and i still beat myself up about it. sorry if this post didnt make sense.

[maximo]

Thank you ! :-)

PS : Kazzianne...ner ner ner !!! lol

[4getmenot]

That�s because I hadn�t yet finished with you kazziane :-)