Why are some people more insecure than others?

[PinkFizz]

How can some of us be the insanely insecure type,and yet others can be totally confident and trusting? Is it always a case of something that has happened in our past to make us that way,or are we just born like it?

[4getmenot]

That�s ok redcrx he probably would start worrying :-)

[PinkFizz]

You are all probably right.I guess a lot of it is to do with the way my ex was with me - he used to play the most awful mind games,almost drove me insane.But this guy never has,never even looks at another woman when we are out together.I just wish I didnt feel like this - i know its probably totally irrational.

[redcrx]

So t goes back to what i said about past experiences making you insecure. Does you bf know what your ex was like, maybe sit him down and explain that its made you feel a bit insecure.

[4getmenot]

Well there you go, it obviously stems from the mind games you used to play, and if its the ex that comes from where I live they all do it. :-) But this bloke sounds quite genuine and you should let him have an enjoyable night. :-)

[fee-is-me]

As redcrx just said - does your partner know how you feel?

Might it help you to talk to him about it?

[caz21]

Hey PinkFizz,

You probably have nothing to worry about he is probably trying to make an effort and is sick of being ignored,

on the negative side and i'm not saying this to panic you but its on my mind due to my recent man troubles, but i'd been having niggling doubts about his behaviour for a while, for example he said he was going for a meal with his old school pal near where he works, they went for an italian and some drinks along the river, i was a bit shifty but said it will do you good etc, afterwards though he had to email his friend to invite him to a BBQ i'd told him to invite him to on the night out and he said his friend had gone on a last minute holiday he hadnt mentioned... dont think so. also he went for a night out with work one friday a few weeks ago and stayed over with the supervisor, looking back i really doubt these things! but thats just because i'm upset, but all i mean is i had these exact feelings and was proved right!

[4getmenot]

I dont think pinks situation is as bad as yours was caz you found msgs on his mobile and were probably fine with him before that. Pink hasnt really found anything to say she should be suspicious she's just worried because of the past. Hope you doing a bit better now Caz. x

[Imp y Celyn]

is this really about insecurity or is it more to do with some sort of paranoia / guilty feling? perhaps you are now worried that because you found it easy to have a flutter and get temptation from your ex boyfried from friends reunited that your new boyfriend might be capable of doing the same with someone new? just because he wants to go out for a change?

[caz21]

I know 4getmenot, i just meant i'd been feeling that way for a while, then when i did some snooping my suscpisions were confirmed! i just meant sometimes instinct can be right!

I doubt your man is up to no good though PinkFizz from your other posts he sounds like he really loves you and you are really happy together!

I say tell him how you feel and he will probably ease your worries! x

[PinkFizz]

Hi all - yes I shouldnt have swapped emails with the old flame but I have stopped that now.But honestly that is nothing to do with this - I dont like it when he goes away on business either.He was with his ex for 10 years,and when it got to the point that they were like brother and sister I know he had a fling with somebody for a week and maybe that is in the back of my mind.You know when you meet somebody and tell them loads of stuff,not knowing if you will even see them again and then a year or two later you remember it!

[nessi]

Everyone gets insecure its just that some people are better at hiding it. Wouldnt it be so much better to not hide away and let people see what your really like

[sexyrussian]

I am insecure in many ways and yes I believe it is because of the experiences in my life I hate to take risks and am not confident in my own abilitlies.In fact I don't believ I can do anything good at all.Oh well that is life.

[joko]

your problem SR, is that you calculate your self worth by adding up your possessions, and you associate being a good person with social status.
the problem with that is none of it is earned - it has all just been handed to you on a plate - anyone is capable of being given things, therefore it doesn't mean anything when it comes to personal pride in who you are.

the sooner you realise these things are not what makes us whole, you will be a much happier person - from within, not the kind of hollow happiness that comes from outdoing someone in the fancy goods stakes.

[sexyrussian]

Absolutely joko.