One liners to get people off your back

[lizwizz]

I'm being bothered by someone at work who is constantly looking over my shoulder, asking me to justify what I'm doing or pointing out minor mistakes/omissions I have made. I have spoken to my manager who has no problem with my performance, so I feel I need a few 'one liners' to hand to get her off my back. They need to be polite and professional, but to the point. Can anyone help?

[laurence2]

Do you find me attractive seeing as you keep coming over to me

[scruffscat]

look her straight in the eyes and simply say " my boss is happy with my performance, and i am sure he/she would let me know if they werent" and follow it with a very sweet smile should do the trick.

[ermintrude35]

..are you copying me?....

..yes?..what do you want now ...?...again!


you..where to mate?
them..what?
you ...oh sorry ,I keep thinking I'm a taxi driver with you behind my shoulder all the time....

[Rufio]

If i throw a stick, will you leave?
This isn't an office, it's hell with flourescent lighting.
Do you know how to set this laser-printer to stun?
You!.....Off my planet!!
Can i trade you for whats behind door number 1?

[sugarcult]

*shouting* no i will not have sex with you!!!

[antigrav]

Would you like to meet "Mr Slap "............

[:Ace:]

"Are you watching me for reassurance? Because I'm sure if you ever had to make a decision...You'd wet yourself"

[steviep165]

i always find listening to them and then just sayin "you bore me" works.

[joko]

say - i am really flattered that you keep wanting to watch me work, but really if you need any help, you only have to ask, theres no need to try to pick up tips by watching

[puzzled54]

As you want to be polite, I would go with 'yes, can I help?'

[Booldawg]

have you tried stapling her nostrils together?

[steviep165]

you've got the managers backing. why be polite. next time you see her in the ladies just leather the bitch.

[mrrobbo15]

just say........have u been smoking ? cuz ur breath really smells

[pinksmartie]

start typing in msn style - if she's going to point out mistakes at least make it worth her while

[raysparx]

Hi liz,

I think I would say something like, "if you aren't sure how to do it i will come over in a minute and show you"

Or "do one fart breath" good luck, Ray

[joko]

get a pair of mini headphones, put the end in your pocket and pretend to be listening to some music - she will soon get sick of having repeat herself and keep tapping you to get your attention, while you pretend not to notice her.

or even get an mp3 player for real and really ignore her

[Ms.Hijinx]

try if you don't leave me alone i will punch you so hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of fashion or put laxative in her coffee so she is going to the loo more than she is bothering you

[PinkFizz]

just casually have a stretch of the old arms and "accidentally" smack her in the face!!