mastabation addiction i need to stop

[worried.me]

hey there all.

I am sorry to post a topic like this and am rather embaressed but here goes. Basically i cant stop mastabating at least once or twice a day and i dont like doing it. I want to stop but cant seem to. Any advice?

[johnlambert]

Get a girlfriend

[boobesque]

once or twice a day isnt much, my friends boyfriend told us before he got with her that he used to do it up to 10 times a day, and not one of the blokes were shocked!

[Makinamess]

You daft muppet - what's wrong with it ? Why don't you like doing it (after all, it is rather pleasurable). The only problem I can see is that doing it twice a day might make it a bit difficult to come with your partner without all the extra effort you are obviously putting in now.

[Big Al1st]

Hi Worried As Woody Allen said
Dont knock masturbation. Its having sex with someone I love!

[whiffey]

Once, twice, even three times a day is not abnormal. Don't worry, seriously.

You are not doing yourself any harm by it, only possibly by worrying about doing it.

Keep up the fluid intake in the hot weather though ! Good Luck.

[worried.me]

hum ok i dont have a girlfriend at the moment but i mean i used to do it the same even when i did have a girlfriend.

Problem is that the issue has become wider in the last few years as i have been having problems dealing with sex. I mean i can perfom and all that its just that im not comfortable with a woman like i used to be and i know it may have something to do with depression issues i have had over the past few years.

Like i am confident about sex and everything but then after its over i just feel dirty and that sex is wrong etc. Its really weird, maybe i need time to not mastabate or have sex. Im fine with kissing and sleeping in the same bed as a woman but feel very emotionally affected by sexual acts. Is this desire to withdraw from all things sexual un-natural?...i would suppose not as there are monks and nuns but some people seem to frown upon their aversion to sex?

[dot.hawkes]

hi worried me, did you have counselling for the sex issues at all?

[worried.me]

no i have not had counselling for these issues but have been to see a counsellor but feel very scared about bringing the emotional problems with sex up. i mean i feel that is easier to try to ignore these feelings and just not have sex. Im not bothered about having a gf at the mo as i need to try to get over my depression.

[jiggy-gb]

Hello worried.me, depression can affect the libido in many ways, though most people think it's just impotence. It can alter the way you feel about sex, whether you feel arousal etc. You should go see your GP, everyone deserves to feel good about sex, whether it's with or without someone else, it's a healthy part of life.
And good for you for beating your embaressment and posting!

[dot.hawkes]

perhaps it is just that u need to relax and feel more mature about your relationships, are u a teenager?

[worried.me]

no i am 24, but had funny feelings about sex since towards the end of my first sexual relationship which was about 4 years ago.

i think if i can start to make my life better then feelings after sex wont be so bad.

in some ways i think it is about guilt and yes i think maybe i need to find a good relationship first and dont have sex for a while cos this has hurt me before. i have had sex after say a month and then the relationship has ended nothing to do with the sex. but it does make me feel like i have kinda gone down a road of making a commitment by having sex and then the relationship doesnt work and i wish i had not had sex as then the emotional effects on me of the relationship ending would be less.

[dot.hawkes]

what type of job do you do? maybe you are actually stressed there and it is showing in your private life

[worried.me]

well i work in a shop but i mean i have not had the same job throughout the emotional problems. i had the same probs at uni and also had problems being able to fully commit to a relationship as

1. i had a long term gf that i finished with just after startign uni as she could no longer deal with my baggage of depression and she wanted some one who could stand on their own feet. But to me she was my soulmate and no girl since can seem to understand me etc.

2. I just have not felt right in any of the relationships i have had and cant seem to make it work for any length of time longer than 3 months.

i have a lot on in trying to be a better person and make friends now i have moved back home so i am trying to forget about having a girlfriend for a while in the hope that when i do meet someone it might work out as i will have by then at least addressed all emotional issues and worked on building a life for myself.

[bobtheturkey]

yeah get a job

[worried.me]

i am sorry bob i do have a job.

[drestie]

wtf bob?

worried.me - I think you are making very sensible decisions by trying to sort yourself out before getting into another sexual relationship. If you are still in counseling, do you think you could talk to your counsellor about this?

[bobtheturkey]

counseling for what? he is hardly committing rape is he?

[worried.me]

Hum im not sure about talking tothe counsellor about this. I mean when i had a female counsellor at uni i did eventually manage to talk about sexuality feelings but it was very hard. I have a male counsellor now and I suppose some aspects are easier to talk about but its just talking about sexual things in general that i am not comfortable with.

Its easier on here as the face to face contact is the hard bit and the fear of what the other person is thinking.

[johnlambert]

You may be entitled to a sex therapist, go see your GP and ask his/her advice, I belive they are free on the NHS, or you may have to pay a nominal fee, ask anyway, you never know it might just help

[worried.me]

Thanks john but been to my GP quite a lot about different things and used enough of his time. I will try to talk about things with my counsellor. Prob not too soon but will try in the furture.