Dollie - I think counselling is going ok.

[steve208]

Hi Dollie, hope you might be around...not seen you on here in a while. Anyway just thought id let you and others know that my counselling is going well. Only prob being at the moment that i feel bad as i seem to talk about the same things each week. My life is like one big circle and i know from experience and a good few years counselling that it is about breaking out of the circle. It is very hard at the moment but i am recognising how destructive some of my decisions can be.

I often take the easy get out decisions or the hard decisions that lead to hurt. I know what i need to do is take a deep breath and do things that will lead to progress. The bad decisions i tend to make relate to desire.....in the end thinking id have been better not to have tried. Then when i make decisions not to do things like apply for jobs or do some voluntary work i really regret not doing.

Hope this makes sense!

[~posy~]

glad it's going well mate! seems like you are making progress and everything is starting to make sense. i hope everything starts to sort itself out so you can move on and make progress. i really am pleased for you xXx

[steve208]

hi posy,

Well things are not great but it def helps to have someone with whom i can talk things through once a week.
Just got a destructive decision on my mind at the mo. I am contemplating going to staffordshire to see my ex gf again, just casually. I know have gone on about this before but at the moment its a big thing.

Its like one part of me wants to stop all the desire, as its not just her i have been chatting with. But another part says just go and have fun. I need to keep applying for jobs and in next two weeks am not working much so would be good to get involved in some voluntary work.

[PinkFizz]

Hi Steve,I think you are definitely going in the right direction.These things take time and patience but if you persevere and keep doing what you are doing,it will all fall into place in the end.Best of luck.x

[Dollie]

Hey Steve - lovely to hear from you. Glad to hear that you are feeling the benefit of having counselling. I'm seeing a client myself at the moment who presents with similar issues to yours. She is what I would call 'stuck' in her revolving world and seems unable to get off. A lot of this is because she is sticking with what is familiar to her because its easier and feels safer. Venturing out of your comfort zone is scary and thats why we are reluctant to do it so what do we do ?? we stick in the same rut repeating damaging behaviour time and time again. The fact that you are speaking about the same things to your counesllor week after week may (and I mean may) just be holding you in your 'stuckness' and it may be a good thing to tell your counsellor you want some resolve now with those subjects as they are wearing heavy on your mind, and your counsellor will help you to do some goal-setting around those issues. Talking of desire - well don't be too hard on yourself - we all need some desire in our lives and I bet most of the folk on here have made bad decisions in their lifetime relating to desire. Come out of your comfort zone Steve - do the things you once thought were unthinkable and keep moving chuck. Pat yourself on the back for recognising you needed help and for finding it and sticking with it. lots and lots of love and hugs. Doll xxx

[steve208]

Hi Dollie,

Thank you very much for your informative answer. Although I say i talk about the same things each time its not quite the case and as each week has gone on i have felt able to talk about different things or to be slightly optomistic.

My parents are going away on sunday for a week's holiday so i will be on my own with my brother...hope there wont be too many arguments. But it will give me an excuse to get out the house and exercise or try some of the things i always talk about doing.

Tis just that last year when my parents went away something inside me said i would may an effort to achieve something by the time they came back.

I always go for a swim after my thursday counsellling session as the pool is nearby. I have got a membership now so have to kinda go so i get the free or cheaper swims as areward. Also managed 42 lengths today and a chat with a few of the guys in the pool! I wont chat to the women much as i need to work on my male friendship building skills!