He slept with his sister in law!

[paulakea]

Hi
I went out with my current bf 5 years ago but we split as he slept with his sister in law. (His brother does not know). His brother and sister in law had 4 kids but a 5th came along after my bf slept with her - its was a mystery as to whos the baby is as she slept with a few people!
5 years we are back together as i do love him but yesterday i could not get hold of him all day and he said he was out with the sister in law and some of her kids and left the phone in the car.
i think i trust him but i hate her for what she did.

[4getmenot]

Ok so how can we help, whats you question? :-)

[paulakea]

what should i do!
do i trust him
is the baby his
i hate her and her hubby shud know but it wud ruin my bf

[redcrx]

why do you hate her and not your bf? Surely you see he isnt innocent in all this? They both kept it from her husband.
If you are willing to take bf back then you have to resign yourself to the fact that he will see her and that you need to be able to trust him. if you dont then move on

[4getmenot]

Personally I wouldnt have took him back in first place. But that is your choice and if you did it then you cant complain.

[paulakea]

i love him but i cant stand them being together alone. i know he wud prob tell her where to go but i know she wud try and i hate that. plus one day the truth will come out thatthe baby isnt her hubbys!

[ChuffingHell]

It's horrible but you have to make a decision as to how you want to proceed. You are fully aware of the situation and have come back into the relationship knowing exactly what has happened.

If you really dopn't like it, then I would say that because of whats happened you are not happy with him spending time with her alone (not seeing her at all is impossible as he is the kids uncle). And if he's not happy to do that, then you walk away.

I would point out that if you "hate her for what she did", it tales two to tango so what are your views of your bf on this?

Also, without wanting to unnecessarily put the cat amongst the pigeons, do you not think her husband/bf deserves to know?

[PinkFizz]

I agree with the others - you chose to go back out with him,knowing that she will always be his sister-in-law and even if nothing ever happens between them again he will always have to see her as she is married to his brother.

[ChuffingHell]

And as to your question of whether you should trust him"?

If you genuinely feel the need to ask that, then why are you with him?

[CLOWN TICKLE]

My sister in law snogged me on my wedding night and it was clear what she was after, I walked away and told my mum in law and wife

[paulakea]

not quite the same as sleeping with and poss havin a baby.
when the little girl is older and if she needs medical help the hubby will find out hes not the dad wont he?

[redcrx]

the husband may still be the father even if she slept with others.

[teag1rl]

paulakea, if you knew for sure the brat wasn't your boyf would it make you happier? Not knowing would do my head in, and it would be something I would have wanted to know before I considered taking him back. As he seems to have some sort of a friendship with her now he could ask her to get paternity test done to rule him out. Would seem fairer all round, but then once you know the results.....god knows what happens next.

[paulakea]

no - he had the snip!!
One child was born so he had it done again!!
And then the latest one was born!!!!

[paulakea]

She wouldnt do a paternity test, she likes the fact that it bothers me that i dont know whos the baby is!!

[paulakea]

and yes i would be happier if i found out the brat wasnt his

[mycats]

er why are you calling the child "a brat"? It's not the kids fault. If your brother in law is so stupid that he isnt asking questions about why his wife is having babies AFTER he has had the snip (twice as far as I can make out) then there is no point in telling him, he is obviously a muppet.
If your bf loves you and respects you at all he WILL NOT spend time with this woman

[teag1rl]

that's my fault. I called it a brat. I call most kids brats. It's not a nasty term I use!