ED`s away.. lets do a lonely hearts column...

[funkymoped]

you know how these things work.

male (cough,cough)years, looking to meet the girl of his dreams.
she must be able to cook, do the washing, hoovering, general D.I.Y. repairs and tend to all my sordid and un-natural needs...

would like to meet a "Shania Twain" look alike with large bank account...

yours in anticipation, Mr Funky....

[stephyker]

Well, I must say... an original way. Good luck et al. Haha.

[dot.hawkes]

This isn't a criticism. But has anyone ever said the words 'deluded' and 'expectations' to you?

[unruliejulie]

Im getting out the way before i get squashed in the rush!

[B00]

Re in answer to above Lonely Hearts Ad :-

Can't cook, isn't that what rubbish bins are for? For rummaging through for ya dinner?

Wash? Myself? Then no, I just stand outside once a month and let the neighbours kids hose me down. Clothing? Again no, why bother? they only get dirty again.

Hoovering, hell no, there's a danger of hoovering up food bits which I might need later.

DIY? Hmmmm, if by that you mean can I reach down for another cream cake then yes, I can do that.

Un-natural needs? Bit vague, will need clarification, though I do enjoy a bit of a rub down with Swafega and goosefat every now and then ;-)

Shania Twain? Well I guess I do if you've drank 10 pints, I stand a mile away and you squint through one eye.

If the above sounds appealing, and quite frankly why wouldn't it? I've enclosed a photo to further wet your appetite.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i289/simon_h ayter/fat_woman.jpg

[unruliejulie]

I think you have to go for B00 funkymoped! Cant see you getting any better offers than that!

[dot.hawkes]

I have a pair of thongs that colour

[jeanette1976]

Well, i'm having the same issues as you, to the point that I've just joined a dating site as I'm sick to death of getting chatted up by drunk guys and dating 'lads'. I need a MAN!!!

And I don't look like Shania Twain, but I DO look a hell of a lot like Tia Carrera from Wayne's World (so I've been told literally hundreds of times when the film came out)... check it out in Google images.