Unsure what to do

[sam82]

Hi all, my partner and i have been staying at his parents, while we wait on our new house being ready in December. The house phone rang at 5am this morning it was his papa, saying his Gran was unwell, so his dad went up and called 10 mins later to say she had died. my partner and his mum then left and went up too, i took there dogs out for there morning walk and gave them there breakfast.. i spoke to my partner and said i would just go to work and should he need me i would come home. it was all of a sudden and no one expected this to happen, so i am sort of fazed (if thats the right word) im unsure if i have done the right thing coming to work, or should i just give them there space. thanks

[crete]

sorry to hear your bad news why not phone yourpartner and suggest to him you would like to be with him and his family today .

[Ed Strong]

You did the right thing. At the moment it is close family closing ranks, they don't mean to leave you out and once the initial shock wears off you will be pulled back into the family circle. In the meantime, just carry on as usual - they will be only too grateful to you for looking after the dogs and their home. Just let your partner and his family know you are there for them and will do everything to help them through their sudden bereavement. Best wishes.

[4getmenot]

You've said if he needs you to call. So dont see a problem with what you've done, sounds sensible enough to me.

[havinmysay]

id imagine if he needed u there he'd say just make sure u go straight after work to comfort him

[~Wingnut~]

Hi sam, I think you did the right thing.
Like Ed Strong said your taking the pressure off them at home by looking after the dogs, that's one less thing for them to worry about when they have so much on their plate at this moment in time. There probably isn't anything you can do at the moment for them anyway other than keep things at home going. Just keep making it known that your there if they need you and for them not to worry about anything at home as you have it covered.
Sorry to hear about your partners loss.

[dot.hawkes]

The priority will be on comforting the family, especially the son who has lost his Mum and the grandson who has lost his Gran. I doubt they have had the thought in their head about how you would be feeling and I would try to imagine how life has changed for them suddenly and they have alot to cope with emotionally and practically. Try to put their need for understanding before your need to be a part of your partners life right now.

[sam82]

Thanks for all your answers, i think i knew i was doing the right thing, its just when i got into work and i thought, should i have done more.

His family are very good to me, and i just felt a little helpless.

but thanks for the reasurance.

x

[spudqueen]

Sorry to hear the bad news. I know that I was quite upset when Mr Spudqueens Gran died, though probably not as upset as him and his family. I do think you've done the right thing in going to work, you're going to need time off for the funeral anyway. If I were you I'd go home with the intention of cooking a meal for everyone in case they are still out, busy, haven't thought of it etc. Practical help (including asking if they need any help shopping for clothes for the funeral) is probably very welcome at the moment, and they will appreciate you looking after their dogs aswell.