Motoring3 mins ago
in limbo
20 Answers
me and my partner have been together for 8years.
we have always shared a loving but turbulant relationship,but recently he bought his own house and asked me to give my flat up and move in,i tried this for a few weeks,however keeping my flat on,whilst living with him we had many arguments regarding money and chores.I did all of the decorating,paid for some of furniture,whilst also keeping the house clean and buying all the food,he didnt feel this was enough he also wanted me to contribute towards the biils.
he also likes to have a binge on drink and drugs every so often,he does not go out and do this he does it at home.
we have always shared a loving but turbulant relationship,but recently he bought his own house and asked me to give my flat up and move in,i tried this for a few weeks,however keeping my flat on,whilst living with him we had many arguments regarding money and chores.I did all of the decorating,paid for some of furniture,whilst also keeping the house clean and buying all the food,he didnt feel this was enough he also wanted me to contribute towards the biils.
he also likes to have a binge on drink and drugs every so often,he does not go out and do this he does it at home.
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by ingram. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Love the simple questions.
Ingram, hes taking you for a complete idiot, your effectively funding his lifestyle, be it decorating, cleaning etc, are you a decorator/cleaner?
And the drugs, well the less said the better on that subject, the worrying bit about your relationship tho is, you,ve been with him 8 YEARS so their either must be something their or you just seem to put up with it, i suspect the latter.
Personally, you don't seem compatable, well at least living under the same roof anyway, i'll think VERY CAREFULLY about where you want to be in the next 8 YEARS, ie with or without him?
Ingram, hes taking you for a complete idiot, your effectively funding his lifestyle, be it decorating, cleaning etc, are you a decorator/cleaner?
And the drugs, well the less said the better on that subject, the worrying bit about your relationship tho is, you,ve been with him 8 YEARS so their either must be something their or you just seem to put up with it, i suspect the latter.
Personally, you don't seem compatable, well at least living under the same roof anyway, i'll think VERY CAREFULLY about where you want to be in the next 8 YEARS, ie with or without him?
-- answer removed --
i think there is a part of you which knows the answer - that you aren't sure enough about him. like you say you are in limbo and it's very hard to settle if you haven't decided either way. I think you should either give up your flat and give things a go, or keep yours and ask him what he thinks the future holds for you two.
I'v said to him i will move in with him if he put's my name on the mortgage pink fizz, and of course i would go halves with every thing,but the problem is he put �8000 into the mortage ,i know that's his money as he tell's me and i would'nt take that away from him under any surcumstances. he say's it is not possible for me to be put on the mortgage.
I had a boyfriend like that once. He was a couch potato and pot-head, and wasn't too tidy either. I moved in with him and he went through a turbulent time with work so I started paying more towards the mortgage etc. It was his flat and I was paying the majority for months. We rowed about it and one day he suggested we sat down and went through the finances as he could see I obviously thought I was being ripped off. After working it out I found out that I was also paying for his loan!! HAHAHAHA!! I was gobsmacked!!
We put things straight though and it really cleared the air. Generally he was a great person and very supportive of me and very loving. But you simply can't live off somebody like that. It's destructive.
We put things straight though and it really cleared the air. Generally he was a great person and very supportive of me and very loving. But you simply can't live off somebody like that. It's destructive.
You aren't a nutter ingram (believe me, I should know ;o) maybe a little misguided..and you are in love, so I don't blame you for getting involved in this & putting up with it for a while.
I do believe laurence is right ~ you need to move on, reclaim what is yours and stop bolstering this guy. He needs to grow up..or get a housekeeper and/or lodger. Be true to yourself!
I do believe laurence is right ~ you need to move on, reclaim what is yours and stop bolstering this guy. He needs to grow up..or get a housekeeper and/or lodger. Be true to yourself!
your not boring us/me ingram, i,m not sure tho where/your going with this, i appreciate that he loves you etc etc, but i honestly believe you & him should'nt be moving in with each other yet, i,ve seen it happen to many times with broken hearts at the end of it, of course i,m not saying it can't/won't work, but i do feel that alls not well in this relationship, you really do need to sit him down and discuss what paths you BOTH want to take in life