ChatterBank1 min ago
Hi all, some advice would be greatly appreciated - thanks
10 Answers
Just need a little advice on a matter that's a long story � so I'll try to cut it short!!
Basically, me and an ex gf (who I still love very much & would love to try again with) split up about 8 months ago (she called it off, saying she wasn't sure about our future anymore), but we still stay in contact via text & phone calls, and when we do, all we talk about is trying again. We've both been seeing other people on and off, but it seems that for both of us, neither have found in other people, what we had together. And I've also moved to the South West for my job � about 2 months ago.
Anyway, we spoke the other night and she said that although she loves me & wants me back, and for us all to work out and have the dream we all hoped for (she has 2 kids, by 2 different dads as well) she is seeing someone else, and things seem to be going ok, even though he's nothing like me and she misses all that we had � as you can imagine, I'm a little confused.
She also said, that she wants to look to move to Cheshire, (she comes from Liverpool, so I assume it is to be nearer her family).
So I guess my question is, is she playing me around? Or should I just hold in there, be her rock, and see what happens??
My job remit has changed quite a lot since I moved down here and now I have a lot more flexibility (I'm now pretty much my own boss), and even though I've also been seeing someone, but finished with them recently, As I realised that my dream is not the South West, my dream is were ever she is.
So now here I am: 30, single, no ties and (finally) money in the bank.
I fancy going off, seeing a bit of the world and doing some travelling either across the US or Europe for a while. But should I hang on first to see if things between, her, her 2 kids & I could work out this time?
(i've also posted a Q. in Travel section, about the whole travel thing)
Thanks for listening and your advice!!
Basically, me and an ex gf (who I still love very much & would love to try again with) split up about 8 months ago (she called it off, saying she wasn't sure about our future anymore), but we still stay in contact via text & phone calls, and when we do, all we talk about is trying again. We've both been seeing other people on and off, but it seems that for both of us, neither have found in other people, what we had together. And I've also moved to the South West for my job � about 2 months ago.
Anyway, we spoke the other night and she said that although she loves me & wants me back, and for us all to work out and have the dream we all hoped for (she has 2 kids, by 2 different dads as well) she is seeing someone else, and things seem to be going ok, even though he's nothing like me and she misses all that we had � as you can imagine, I'm a little confused.
She also said, that she wants to look to move to Cheshire, (she comes from Liverpool, so I assume it is to be nearer her family).
So I guess my question is, is she playing me around? Or should I just hold in there, be her rock, and see what happens??
My job remit has changed quite a lot since I moved down here and now I have a lot more flexibility (I'm now pretty much my own boss), and even though I've also been seeing someone, but finished with them recently, As I realised that my dream is not the South West, my dream is were ever she is.
So now here I am: 30, single, no ties and (finally) money in the bank.
I fancy going off, seeing a bit of the world and doing some travelling either across the US or Europe for a while. But should I hang on first to see if things between, her, her 2 kids & I could work out this time?
(i've also posted a Q. in Travel section, about the whole travel thing)
Thanks for listening and your advice!!
Answers
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Hey, i dont mean to say this harshly but i think you should move on, travel the world and fullfill your travelling dreams as i think she is messing you around. There is no doubt that she misses what you two had, but it seems to me she hasnt had anything that good since and that is why sheis stringing you along as a backup if her current relationship fails. I think you are so much better than being 2nd best and i think there are girls out there that will put you first so why should you settle for being anything less?And maybe you going away for a while will make her realise what she really wants? I personally think you are better off finding a whole new love. Also you have to think - there were reasons why you split up at the time and at the time of being so close you couldnt work through them so whats going to be different now?
Please dont waste your life waiting around and go and see the world!!! :)
Please dont waste your life waiting around and go and see the world!!! :)
My honest answer would be to move on...
Obviously, you both had something good together, and ofcourse you will both be comparing other people with what you have had with partners since.... but i think you shouldn't put your life on hold and see what happens... she has someone out there, your the single one. you have worked hard to get the money in the bank so to speak, use it, enjoy it and get out there!!!
she finished it with you, and i would most definately travel the world, see the sights. she has children but ok, they are not yours,... so you have no committment towards her on that side... im sure you thought a lot of her kids too... but as your in a position that you are not tied or have your own children yet, well do it now... travel, see the places you want to see....
who knows, maybe one day you will both get back together, but i think in time you will meet someone out there who it will all feel right with again....
good luck xx
Obviously, you both had something good together, and ofcourse you will both be comparing other people with what you have had with partners since.... but i think you shouldn't put your life on hold and see what happens... she has someone out there, your the single one. you have worked hard to get the money in the bank so to speak, use it, enjoy it and get out there!!!
she finished it with you, and i would most definately travel the world, see the sights. she has children but ok, they are not yours,... so you have no committment towards her on that side... im sure you thought a lot of her kids too... but as your in a position that you are not tied or have your own children yet, well do it now... travel, see the places you want to see....
who knows, maybe one day you will both get back together, but i think in time you will meet someone out there who it will all feel right with again....
good luck xx
Hi Seaborn
I was in a situation like this when i spilt up with my ex, i finished it and we were very up and down over the first year, he made it perfectly clear that he wanted me back and i just didn't know what i wanted, i wanted the 'easyness' of being with him as we were very close but at the same time i knew i didn't want to be with him, and i'm afraid i hurt him very badly in the end i stopped contact as i knew it was never goning to happen and by seeing him it gave him hope. its now been 2 years and he is settled with someone else and by all accounts happy with her. if i had your choices i would take the travel option
whatever you do i hope it all works out
xx
I was in a situation like this when i spilt up with my ex, i finished it and we were very up and down over the first year, he made it perfectly clear that he wanted me back and i just didn't know what i wanted, i wanted the 'easyness' of being with him as we were very close but at the same time i knew i didn't want to be with him, and i'm afraid i hurt him very badly in the end i stopped contact as i knew it was never goning to happen and by seeing him it gave him hope. its now been 2 years and he is settled with someone else and by all accounts happy with her. if i had your choices i would take the travel option
whatever you do i hope it all works out
xx
Thanks guys,
I never really join in on other chat rooms, but I�ve always found hat the guys on AB always have good & sensible advice to give.
I think you�re alright though: a bit of travel, a new outlook and a new life & hopefully a new love interest all seem to the way to go for me at the moment.
Also, where to go? (please see Q. in Travel section)
I never really join in on other chat rooms, but I�ve always found hat the guys on AB always have good & sensible advice to give.
I think you�re alright though: a bit of travel, a new outlook and a new life & hopefully a new love interest all seem to the way to go for me at the moment.
Also, where to go? (please see Q. in Travel section)
Seaborn, what can i say? Maybe she does love you very much still, but cant let you go, maybe things in your relationship still haunt her? Shes not stringing you along, and if youve moved down south to live your dream what can she do a thousand miles away, and her having 2 children shouldnt make any difference. sometimes you really dont realize what youve got untill its too late?
what i want to know, i mean really know............is why the hell do you ask strangers about us? Weve been to hell and back because of you, something i think you wouldnt want me to talk about on here? You sent me a text stating this question, i only replied! Now you wanna go travelling? well go for it, i wish you all the luck in the world, i really do, no matter how many times we try, something always comes up, mainly the fact i have children, two for whom i love with all my heart, the same two you,ve called names.....but im not gonna go there, so i wish you all the luck in the world matt i really do. take care xx
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