hold on in there or ease off?

[xJx]

if a guy tells u that they dont want anyone else but you and they are happy with you but still wont committ to officially being an item then what is this implying? im guessing its negative. after asking the bloke im seeing today if i have false pretences with regard to 'us' he answered that we are already practically together so lets see what happens. he just 'needs his own space for a while to do what he wants to do' (e.g. clubbing, holidays with his mates). then 5 minutes later asks me if i want to go away with him in december for 2 weeks over new year. mixed signals or what ay! i think he releases i was a bit confused by his answer and has texted me a few times this evening so i guess his been thinkin about things. should i hold on in there or ease off?

[lady_p_gold]

Well in a way at least he is being totally honest. I think I would rather have a guy who put his cards on the table rather than one who 'went along with things' and then found he had made a mistake. He is entitled to conduct the relationship in the way he sees fit when it comes to commitment, but on the other hand so are you. I think if I were you I would give it a bit of time but just as he has been honest with you, you can do the same, and say that you are hopefully looking for some commitment in time and that if he, after time finds that it is not for him then you may not be happy with that. I think after a while you will soon find whether he is just having his cake and eating it or if he is genuinely not sure if he is ready for a full time and permanent 'us'.

[dot.hawkes]

xJx that for a start is way too comlex a question for any bloke to understand,

[lady_p_gold]

snappost dot !!!!

[country_boy]

Sounds like he knows he "has" you, so to speak. Ease off a bit, make your own plans and be a bit aloof - he'll soon come running. Some of us just don't react well to things being on a plate. As soon as he thinks you're maybe having a good time with some other guy, or you don't need him around, he'll respond! Does sound like he is trying to keep you happy in a way by doing what maybe he thinks he should (hol in dec), but maybe he is doing that because he may be imagining pressure to commit. Try not to play games though, just be unavailable now and again. Hope that helps!

[xJx]

thanks for the replies. i have eased off and its working so far. yesterday i bumped into my ex and had told the new guy im interested in and he got all up tight and funny with me. i ignored it and in the end he apologised and said that he was worried cuz he don't want me to do anything with anyone else cuz he sees me as mine. we had a hour long phone convo last night and then today he asked me if i wanted 2 go travelling wiht him in july 2007 and even at 1 staged said we should get our own place (he just got a pay rise) things are looking up! :) im so happy! i think ill carrry on as i am and hopefully everything will eventually fall into place. thank you for the advice x