How to deal with saying no?

[elpea]

I met a really nice man a few weeks ago, and have enjoyed meeting him for a few drinks and chat - he's good company, and I like him, but I don't fancy him. I said to him I wasn't interested in dates or looking for a partner/whatever (I thought this was what you're supposed to do when you don't fancy someone)... he said he was ok with that, and agreed it would be nice to meet for drinks, but no more than that. Anyway, I've been really busy for the last 2 weeks, and haven't been in touch with him as I wasn't sure when I'd be free next. This morning received a text from him saying he'd delete me from his phone to avoid any 'further embarrassment', and that he'd got the wrong idea. I now feel pretty dumb. I can't think of what to text back, to make him realise I wasn't taking the ****, and I like him, but I don't want to say anything that could be read the wrong way - I don't want to get into anything with him, so is it better to not see him at all? I'm tempted to not reply, but that would drive me nuts if things were the other way around - I hate my texts being ignored and I don't want to do that to him! I need to say something back... does anyone with more experience than me have any good suggestion?

[4getmenot]

Just put yes I think you have, I did say from the start and thought you realised where you stood with me, I enjoy your company but dont see you as any more than just a friend. I'd like us to stay that way but if you cant handle that then maybe its best we stop being mates.

[Octavius]

You could reply with:

'who is this????'

Ok, maybe not. I think he was probably hoping for a lot more and thought you might be more proactive in getting in touch to meet for a few drinks. By the by, you could always reply and tell him that you would like to remain friends and catch up occassionally and leave it that, or you could write an essay about how you feel and maybe make him even more embarassed.

Perhaps as a suggestion:

'Ok, If you really want to do that, but maybe we could still keep in touch as friends and meet for a drink sometime'.

That way, he will either delete you from his memory or just keep your number until the interest wears off and he forgets all about you.

[PinkFizz]

I think the fact that he is so miffed you haven't been in touch that he has to txt you and tell you he is going to delete your number.just to see how you will react,would seem to me that he is very keen on you and was obviously hoping that you would have contacted him by now.I don't think it wise to meeet up with him again as he will always be hoping for more than friendship which you say you do not want.

I personally would txt back and say :

" Where is the embarassment? You know I just want to be friends - I have just been very busy.If you're ever this way and I'm free then we can catch up on each others news.Take care"

[Gevs1966]

You could also look at it in another way. He thought you wanted to be friends and may have been quite happy about that so sent you some texts seeing if you wanted to meet up. You have (rudely, in my opinion) not replied to these texts giving him the impression that you are not actually even interested in being friends therefore he thinks he has "got the wrong idea".

If you want to keep in touch with him as mates then reply apologising for not getting back to him sooner and explaining why you haven't been in touch.

[elpea]

Sorry Gevs1966 you totally got the wrong idea...I have not ignored him once - you'll see in my post I mention that I don't like my texts being ignored, and wouldn't do it to someone else. I just hadn't got in touch with him as I had no free time and didn't want to mess him around - in fact if anything I should have expected a response from him as the last text came from me. You have also assumed wrongly that I don't want to be friends with him - yet that's the whole point of my post! I do want to be friends with him... that was my dilemma, as I feel he's behaving as if the 'more than friends' thing has started, due to what he said about 'embarrassment'. IMO I reckon if he wanted to be friends only he wouldn't worry about that, or whether we were in contact every second day. I don't want to give him the wrong idea, and have been straight with him about this at all levels. I was hoping for some suggestions as I haven't been out and about 'single' for very long, and have no practice as to how to do it. I've always had lots of male friends,; many of which I've known for years, but I'm now finding it's difficult to make new male friends as once they find out I'm single quite often they want something else (not all of them of course - please don't take me wrong in that sense, I'm not trying to show off here in any way). In lots of ways it was easier to meet men and get on with them when I had a partner!