Ex's - Taboo subject?

[spk]

Are your ex partners a taboo subject with your current partner?

[PinkFizz]

No.coz they are mutual hated by us! lol
Seriously,we have to talk about them as they are both involved in legal stuff to do with money etc,but we NEVER talk about sexual stuff about them - waaay too much information!!

[admarlow]

YES as you well know spk ha ha ha

[spk]

shouldve known you two would answer nice and quick ! x :O) x

Just wondering because the current beau sort of brings the ex up, then gets all uncomfortable about it straight after. Its like he kind of forgets sometimes he isnt with her anymore and still refers to him and her as "we"

Im just rambing now.. just curious to see what other folks opinions are

[China Doll]

Erm... Well I don't talk about stuff like that in general too much if I can help it. At the moment I don't have a partner so it's not a problem.

However, with my most recent ex I didn't talk about the guy I used to live with very much at all as there was no need.... but I think any futures exes may need to know a bit more about the most recent one as it might explain quite a lot! ;0)

[admarlow]

Miss Admarlow used to do that , so I set her straight!!! (she didn't do it much after that!!)

[redcrx]

no, im best mates with my ex hubby and my partner gets on well with him and another ex from my group of friends.
It was a bit uncomfortable for me once when it was pointed out that i was sat at a table with 3 blokes that had all been intimate with me :)

[spk]

I think I need to have that chat myself Addy !

Lol at China- I think Im similar actually- thats my excuses for being a bit 'fruity'- nutter ex...

Gees Redcrx talk about sh"tting on yer own doorstep eh? ;O)

[admarlow]

try the nice subtle aproach maybe open with something like...

''What do you keep bringing up your Fcuking ex, whats wrong with you, do you want to marry her or something!''

[spk]

Very true Wardminter.

I think hes just a bit institutionalised and I need him to realise hes with me now instead of that loony. I can see that very conversation happening shortly Admarlow !

[admarlow]

maybe have a few drinks 1st as well it helps he put on my listening diplomatic hat!! ha haha

[RATTER15]

My partner and I often chat about our ex's, they formed a large part of our lives, so we discuss them as part of our pasts, no problem.

[Carakeel]

I agree with RATTER. Why should the past and our ex's be taboo? I have felt totally free to discuss my ex partners with my present partner and he has openly discussed his with me.

[Presario]

I was with my ex 6 and half years an we met when I was just 16 so until recently my entire adult life (and sex life) was spent with one man. I have that many memories its difficult not to bring him up soemtimes. I.e my current lartner will ask me if I've seena certain film and I'll say yes and then he will say who with and then I will say my ex and then my curretn partner will have a hissy fit about me bringing my ex up! So I just lie now. Everything I've done or seen in the last few years was with "my mate Becky" lol.

[Presario]

Sorry about the pants spelling.

[samuel23]

I'm a bit relaxed about the whole 'ex' thing. That said, I wouldn't want a 'warts and all' biography and comparisons are a definite Noooo!! I know very little about my partners ex and yet, bizarre though it may seem, we sometimes go and visit his mum and dad. They were very good to my partner when she was ill, often ask her round for dinner etc and she wants to keep in touch with them. I don't have a problem with that, and neither do they. I wasn't the cause of their relationship breaking down, it just fell flat and they parted by mutual consent. He's moved on, my partner has moved on and there isn't any point in getting huffy about mentioning his name. It's a bit ludicrous to imagine that anyone over the age of 18 hasn't been out on a date with someone else (at the very least!) and doesn't have any history, just keep it away from the bedroom stuff and offering up examples of what they did that your partner does differently and if you are both adult about it, it should be fine.
Presario, that must be so awkward for you :-( Your guy must be really insecure. If he isn't mature enough to understand that you were with one person for all that time and you have history are you sure he's the right person to be with? Why should you have to lie to reassure him and ease his paranoia?