why don't i trust him?

[born worrier]

nearly 2 yrs ago i met a wonderful guy, after being a single mum for over 8 yrs he was a breathe of fresh air, he has treated my kids and I great. I have always trusted him 100%.
Suddenly for no apparent reason i have started having doubts, worrying every time he is late or not in the mood to chat. I seem to be convincing myself that there is someone else even tho he has given me absolutely no reason to think that.
Now i am getting to the stage where i am also worrying that if i show him how insecure i am feeling i will scare him off.
This is resulting in me sitting at home crying constantly whenever he isn't here then putting a brave face on when i am with him.
Any advice will be gratefully received.
Thank you

born worrier

[angel-cake]

I think the answer is in your name..... if you know you are such a worrier, why not do something about it to put your mind at ease, either by talking to your partner, or actually sitting down on your own and writing down the hard evidence as to why you dont trust him. Perhaps then you will have an answer.

[born worrier]

I have tried talking to him, but he seems to be offended that i feel that way (rightfully so!) and has even said if i keep being so paranoid i will end up driving him away, I can't think of one single reason why i shouldn't trust him, we have always been totally honest with each other and i can't even see what has changed.

[Pea Pod]

I am like you if there`s nothing to worry about you will find something or you can`t function properly.You are going to have to put these fears behind you or you will loose him.I am married to a jealous man,he`s even jealous of me coming on here.I get to really hate him at times and you don`t want that do you.We are all late at sometimes in our life and we don`t always feel like talking. After two years he is probably in what I call the comfort mode,he doesn`t have to try as hard as when you first met to impress you.If these are the only reasons you have to suspect him try and push silly thoughts to the back of your mind. Life is for living, be happy while your still young enough to enjoy it.

[born worrier]

I think you've described me to a T there pea pod! The strangest thing about it is i've been on the other side, My Ex husband was very possessive towards me, often accusing me of allsorts that i hadn't done, so i know what damage it can do. I think thats why i tend to bottle it up until i'm alone.

[EDLEE]

It may be hard to look at ourselves as critically as we can others,but it seems to be necessary now. It looks like you want something from him that you are afraid to ask for lest you lose him. You don't have to be aware of it to be bothered by it. As difficult as it may be , you will need to figure out what it is in order to put it to rest.
I can only guess, from what you've said, but do you think it might be a commitment issue? Two years seems long enough for a relationship to develop into an engagement or a marriage ...... if it will at all.
Ask yourself if you would be content with the relationship if it went no farther than it is now. If the answer is no.... you may have found your problem.

[sandyg2244]

i might have it wrong, but could you be a little depressed at the moment?When we get like that, all things can get blown out of proportion and the glass is always half empty syndrome rears its head.You say he has given you no reason to feel like this so its most probably coming from within you?I'ts maybe worth thinking about.

[Champagne]

If peapod is right and he is in that 'comfort zone' then you are probably feeling a little unwanted right now, which will only intesify your fears. It doesn't sound as though he's doing anything out of the ordinary, except maybe being a bit complacent, but people are only like that if they feel content in their life. Don't allow him to get into too much of a rut though! Especially as it's making you feel glum.

You need a romantic night out together. And soon! :o)

[born worrier]

arranged a night out at cinema on saturday, nothing too extravagent, but anything away from the kids always makes a pleasent change :)

[notfrom-oz]

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.