What next?

[4getmenot]

Ok I have been seeing a bloke that I love to bits but he just isn't ready to settle down, he is very muddled and doesn't know who he is, what he wants etc. I have always been a person to stay where I am because of family whereas he wants to travel etc. This I put up with but I am at that age where I want babies and am getting well broody. He says he wants me and maybe in the future but I just don't have the time to wait and see. There is someone else who loves me and would give me everything I wanted, but we used to go out and he dumped me so I feel he doesn't deserve to have me. And because they hate eachother if I see one I would never be able to see the other, its so hard, I don't know what to do. Would you settle for love and no children or a family and a new start? And redcrx no word of this to anyone.

[redcrx]

sis, you need to decide if you love this guy enough to be prepared to live like this! Some women are happy just being a part-time girlfriend and can live with that situation. By asking for advice i think you know deep down that its not the life you want to see stretching in front of you.

[4getmenot]

I�m sorry pa_ul but I�ve already got two blokes fighting over me :-) lol

[Pippa68]

Sorry I came into this late, 4get ~ everyone seems to have the answer for you, and maybe you know the answer yourself by now..I dunno!

All I can say is that when I met Mr P I knew I would rather be with him forever without kids then never be with him at all ~ I still feel that way even though we have two daughters.

It is very easy to map out your life ~ I did that too. Ended up getting divorced because I married a 'family' guy to have kids and he really wasn't the one for me. Only time will tell..and you do have quite a lot of that left. Peoples feelings can change with time too. Age doesn't really matter too much ~ you don't have to be young in age to be a 'young' mum :o)

[4getmenot]

True pip I think I�ll always be young at heart, its not about not being able to do things as such its just I wouldn�t want the child to lose me at a young age either.

[WendyS]

Quite honestly I wouldn't settle for either option, and I don't think you should either. There must be hundreds of available men out there so why opt for somebody you don't think deserves to have you, or the other person who doesn't love you enough to be committed to a permanent relationship with you? I feel you are making a classic mistake of thinking you have only the two options currently known to you at decision-making time.

Please take some time away from both of them and see if you can't widen your outlook, make some new friends and give life a chance to provide you with some other genuine opportunities which won't involve the compromises you are currently being faced with. Being impatient may lead you to make a bad decision which you may come to regret later.

[4getmenot]

Thank you wendy that�s what I�m going to try and do but its so hard, me and him are soul mates and cant help wanting to be with eachother but on the other hand maybe the other deserves a 2nd chance as someone said, he was very young then and has learned from his mistake, so much so he stood up infront of packed pub to tell everyone his feelings for me. Oh its so hard, I don�t know :-(