Please somebody talk to me

[PinkFizz]

I am in absolute bits here and I don't know what to do.I have tried to make peace with my family over the weekend before I move and each and every one has told me to go to hell. I just called my mum in a final attempt and she told me that as far as she was concerned I was dead. I can't take much more rejection.

[PinkFizz]

China - my waterproof mascara is now apparently not very waterproof.xx

[ummmm]

awww...bless you.

Once you have moved and settled in you might see it from a different angle, once all the stress of moving has gone. Give it a couple of months and then try again. If it doesn't work then you know you have done everything you possibly can.

[serendipity1]

hi pink,
sorry to hear your having such a shi*e time hun , i know from experience that sometimes its best to have some distance between you with families , especially when you are close. you must just try and leave things for a while and concnetrate on your own happiness with your partner and maybe in time it will calm down, my family fall out all the time but we all love each other very much and always forgive each other usually without words , and dont beat yourself up about this you only done what you thought was the right thing , the same as anyone of us . so please , tomorrow is another day and i know youll feel better , take care xxx

[4getmenot]

you can have my big sis china lol xx

[divegirl]

Awww Pinkfizz....sending you a huge hug......

First things first... We see Christmas as a time to build bridges, this makes it even harder when it doesn't work, just leave it for now.
Secondly, just concentrate on getting settled in your new home....prorities obviously getting the tree up and finding the nearest offy.
Thirdly.... enjoy Christmas with those who care for you....not worrying about those who don't!

After Christmas sit down and write a letter to everyone who has hurt you.... just one letter....photo-copy it and send it to all those involved....you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of......then let them fight ot out amongst themselves.

Please wipe your face [re-apply your warpaint] and smile....We all love ya!

Lisa x

[unruliejulie]

hi Pink, so sorry to hear that thins arent good but i would just like to second divegirls advice. Excellent! Good luck and big hugs to you XXXX

[China Doll]

Huh... You wanna get that sorted out Pinky... I need a big sister who can give make up tips! ;0P

I'm kidding obviously, in this day and age friends become as much family as family are... and some friends are inclined to act more like family than some family members. And as cliched as it is, when one door shuts another opens...

Now stop your blubbing and show me some teeth woman! And for goodness sake stop being so hard on yourself, you're going to be ok... honest you are, you know I never lie to you xx

[laurence2]

can only add to previous posts, concentrate on your partner/son, i find it quite disturbing that all your family could turn their back on you.
They need to grow up, and as for your dad, suddenly having a memory loss/ in denial, well your probably best without him, its a shame that they can't see no further than the end of their nose, your trying to keep the peace etc and for your good intentions you get sh!te on, don't let it get you down, rise above it

[Pippa68]

Don't do this to yourself anymore, Pink!

These people really don't deserve to have such a lovely family member & to be honest you have done all you can...above & beyond, in fact.

They are the losers ~ if I were you I wouldn't devote any more time & energy into it all..concentrate on you, your partner & immediate family only. I have had a very bad time recently with my mother in law and have cut ties as much as I possibly can (long story, lol) simply for my sanity!

You know I send you cyber hugs..and despite the accusations of 'cliqueness' you know you have an AB family xxx

[lilacben]

Hi Pinkfizz I feel so sorry for you on hearing this from you. But as others have said leave it for now and get on with your move and christmas. Life has been s--t for you this year, wipe the slate clean,new house,new life in a new place. Let them get on with it. I have alwas wanted a brother or sister but to be honest when I hear this I am just glad I have none. Dry your tears and look forward to the future. Give them time, send your new address and christmas cards. Let them take the next step. They are the ones who are missing out. Prehaps write a letter to your sister explain that this really isnt your fault but your dads and that he left you in this impossible situation which you would rather he hadn't.They need to get a life.!! Make sure you get the last word.I am sure you have some very good friends who can see you through this. If not we are here.Ok. when is the move and to what part of the country.? love to you and take care. Brenda xx

[beryllium]

Go on..... you know you want to......
send them a lovely christmas gift.... :-)

http://www.revengeguy.co.uk/store/index.php?ma in_page=index&cPath=54&zenid=cca3e527d18f59a07 2c3a80d7842d180

B. xXx

[PinkFizz]

Do you know what? If I could choose my family I would choose you lot as you are the nicest bunch of people ever,and I really think I would have gone round the bend in the last few months if it hadn't been for all of you.

xxxxxxx

[ELVIS68]

Smash their caravans up

[maggie01]

As someone else said. It is hard but life is too short. Don't waste it worrying about your family. Make new friends and enjoy your life. Families should be pleased for you whatever you choose to do. If they are not then they are not worth stressing yourself over. As you say we can't choose our families.

[PinkFizz]

beryllium - god I can't believe some of the things that you can send to people! Made me smile though. : )

[sam100]

Hi Pink! Sorry to hear you are having a bad time of it....

I would just say keep your chin up as the truth always comes out in the end...it's called Karma. I think your better off out of it, leave them all to get on with it and you can then make the most of your partner and child as it seems like you have had a while of grief over this when none of it was your fault in the first place you were just stuck in the middle...it always pays to be honest and at least you can sleep at night (eventually) knowing that you tried to do the right thing. Sounds like your folks have some issues that they need to get sorted and im afraid its not somehting you can help them to. Just keep them at arms length if at all and focus on yourself for a while.
Remember when the going gets tough there are always people on here who are always happy to listen to your probs and give you some fantastic advice.
A problem shared is a problem halved!
Let us know how you get on...hugs.x

[badgerchops]

Hi there poppet
You are never going to be able to reason with an alcoholic. your mum will not see what is likely to be in front of her. Sometimes you have got to walk away and keep your chin up. This is the row this year but now it has kicked off it would turn into a repeat process. They are not worth your emotions and looking for a scapegoat. Walk away, even if only temporary until its blown over. try again in 6 months or something. If not write a letter to everyone in the family who is concerned. Tell them your side, in plain truth. Then tell them that you love them, but cant take being the scapegoat. its then over to them but you will never have regrets that you didnt try

Be happy with your partner who you chose and make a new life away from them until it blows over xx

[Hellion]

Hi Pink! I haven't been on much recently (not a moment to my self whinge, whinge, whine, whine lol) but I know that you have had a really rotten few months. So to start with a HUGE big HUG
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((X))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It occurs to me that if your Dad has been with this woman some time and intends to stay with her then sooner or later he's not going to be able to deny she exists and the rest of your family are going to look very, very silly, he will look like the cowardly liar that he is and I'm pretty sure his new lady friend will not be happy to know that he denies that she exists. So, as the saying goes, it will all come right in the end.
From what you have said you are not dealing with normal rational people here and you can NOT take responsibility for your Dad's lie. You have only told the truth, what everyone else chooses to do with that information is THEIR problem not yours. This is a counselling technique but it does work - I am giving you permission to stop worrying about it.
You have not been well, you've just moved and your family are clearly nuts so, don't bother trying to talk to them just send their cards, presents etc for Christmas as though nothing has happened, don't try and explain yourself, you don't have to - remember it's their problem not yours - and concentrate on having a lovely Christmas just you and your own little family who love you.
Everytime it creeps into your head get a piece of paper, write down the problem then take it in the garden and burn it - it is amazing how once you've 'let it go' it really does stay out of your head for a while.
Hellion X

[fayelc123]

Awwww hunni, i'm so sorry to hear this.
I can't believe how some people can treat their own children/sister! & you seem like such a lovely person!
I agree with everyone else, concentrate on your partner/son & enjoy your xmas with the people who are worth your time.
I hope things work out, i'm thinking of you. x

[joko]

firstly your mum and dad are spearated so not only is he allowed to have another girlfirend - its non of your mums business to get irate about it.

i don't understand why your dad has not just held his hands up and told her - presumably it will come out eventually - there is some woman there who is being expected to pretend she doesn't exist!
the fact that he has let you take the flak and not said a word speaks volumes about what sort of man he is.

i would get proof.
photographic proof of this woman coming and going etc - hire a PI if necessary.
go to his old address and ask them for his forwarding address - they wont know the history.

then send copies to all your family with a note saying "I await your grovelling apologies and large presents"

if you are still angry - do an article in chat or take a break or your local paper or something.

they need their noses rubbing in it and teaching that turning someone into a scapegoat and using mob mentality is unnacceptable.