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What should i do next?
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My gf and I are thinking about moving in together, so ive been half living at hers and half at mine for the last month or so. Monday night we both went out separately with our own friends and planned to meet up at her home later. Basically I got very dunk with my mates and when I got home i thought (in my very drunken state) that it might be fun to wind her up and make her jealous by telling a few porkies about the night and me and women etc. Obviously when I woke in the morning I deigned everything, got my friends to back me up by letting her know how much I love her, bought her flowers to say sorry etc etc etc. and she said it was fine, said she understood and no harm done and that we were ok.
However last night we went to the pub and an argument started up about the whole thing and she basically said she didn't believe me about Monday night, she was now sure that something did happen with me and other women and she didn't trust me anymore. She then goes off to the loo, and she was in there a long time. As it is a pub we both know well, I asked the barmaid to go into the loo to see if she was ok and not crying or anything. The barmaid said she was fine, and that she was just on the phone. When she came out all seemed to be ok and we got ready to leave 5-10mins later.
All of a sudden from behind a big guy grabs my arm, shoves me out the door and says them my gf is so upset, doesn't want to see me anymore and to leave her alone. My gf at this point is running to the house, and by the time I get this guy off me, she had my brief case with wallet, phone, laptop etc. at the front door. The guy basically shoves it my hand says the rest of my clothes and stuff etc will be sent on and that I'm not to return back there at all or get in contact with her (obviously I realise she was on the phone to him whilst in the loo).
and if i didnt go or do return he would call the police.
However last night we went to the pub and an argument started up about the whole thing and she basically said she didn't believe me about Monday night, she was now sure that something did happen with me and other women and she didn't trust me anymore. She then goes off to the loo, and she was in there a long time. As it is a pub we both know well, I asked the barmaid to go into the loo to see if she was ok and not crying or anything. The barmaid said she was fine, and that she was just on the phone. When she came out all seemed to be ok and we got ready to leave 5-10mins later.
All of a sudden from behind a big guy grabs my arm, shoves me out the door and says them my gf is so upset, doesn't want to see me anymore and to leave her alone. My gf at this point is running to the house, and by the time I get this guy off me, she had my brief case with wallet, phone, laptop etc. at the front door. The guy basically shoves it my hand says the rest of my clothes and stuff etc will be sent on and that I'm not to return back there at all or get in contact with her (obviously I realise she was on the phone to him whilst in the loo).
and if i didnt go or do return he would call the police.
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So I went to a friends, stayed at his the night and am now in work today.
I have sent her 3-4 texts already asking why, what and how can we resolve things etc because we do both love each other so much. And as yet no replies (although I know she�s getting them as I�ve had the delivery reports).
What should I do?
She has so much of my stuff there?
All I want is her back, and for us to talk?
I think she is sereose in it all and that she does want it over as I don�t think she would go to these lengths if not.
What should I do? Should I keep trying to get in touch or just leave her to calm down for the day and try again tomorrow and all weekend?
id also just like add that in no way was i violent to either her or him and never would be. also he is a total stranger to me.
DEEP SIGH..... well, you've got to admit, it was a pretty dumbass thing to say and you DO realise that if you do get back together, she's never EVER going to trust you again...
It will ALWAYS come up, and everytime you glance at another girl, she's going to suspect she was the girl you said you got off with. How would you feel if she did that to you? But you already know this, right?
I don't want to assume anything (guessing that you're very young and immature to have said something so awful) and its easy to say that you've made your bed so you better lie in it, but I reckon you should just move on as you're forever going to be in her debt..... good luck, you're going to need it! ;C
It will ALWAYS come up, and everytime you glance at another girl, she's going to suspect she was the girl you said you got off with. How would you feel if she did that to you? But you already know this, right?
I don't want to assume anything (guessing that you're very young and immature to have said something so awful) and its easy to say that you've made your bed so you better lie in it, but I reckon you should just move on as you're forever going to be in her debt..... good luck, you're going to need it! ;C
Nasty , daft thing to do. how would it be a "bit of fun" to upset the woman you love and make her feel second best?
I can't get my head round that to be honest ( and I'm male).
Personally the way it's gone down, I don't think anything you say or do will make a lot of difference at this point. Write her a letter, be dead honest, post a link to this question maybe, tell her you love her and just ask her to come back, then just leave her alone.
You've hurt her a lot, she might or might not forgive you.
I can't get my head round that to be honest ( and I'm male).
Personally the way it's gone down, I don't think anything you say or do will make a lot of difference at this point. Write her a letter, be dead honest, post a link to this question maybe, tell her you love her and just ask her to come back, then just leave her alone.
You've hurt her a lot, she might or might not forgive you.
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Wow! She sounds like a girl after my own heart! I wish I had a big burly bouncer-like mate who came to my rescue whenever I felt upset with a man!
You did say a very foolish thing to her and you've certainly paid the price. It does seem like a dramatic response but for all you know she may have had suspicions about you for some time, or been hurt in this way before. She's a tough cookie by the sounds of things.
If you want your stuff back you need to arrange a time when you can go and collect it all (in one go). After that, all you can do is leave her a message or write her a letter telling her that you still love her. Unfortunately though, if she has decided that you're history then there is very little you can do about it.
Good luck.
You did say a very foolish thing to her and you've certainly paid the price. It does seem like a dramatic response but for all you know she may have had suspicions about you for some time, or been hurt in this way before. She's a tough cookie by the sounds of things.
If you want your stuff back you need to arrange a time when you can go and collect it all (in one go). After that, all you can do is leave her a message or write her a letter telling her that you still love her. Unfortunately though, if she has decided that you're history then there is very little you can do about it.
Good luck.
I just love her so much. i feel so empty wihout her and so want to talk and sort all this out.
also as a friend pointed out to me, if this is what she is like and can lan this and not talk to me about stuff, what might she be doing to my clothes etc now??
someone else said i should phone the police and let them know of the situation, as legally this could be considdered theft of my belongings and if she does cause them damage it might be criminal damage.
also as a friend pointed out to me, if this is what she is like and can lan this and not talk to me about stuff, what might she be doing to my clothes etc now??
someone else said i should phone the police and let them know of the situation, as legally this could be considdered theft of my belongings and if she does cause them damage it might be criminal damage.
Yes you were a fool originally and you know that however any girl that gets her boyfriend heavy handed cos she wants him to leave is not worth it. What will it be next time when you actually do something. i mean who is this bloke who grabbed you? do you know him, or does she?
i think you need to stop texting her 3, 4,5 times. too much at the moment. does she live on her own? if not talk to whoever she lives with (mum, friend) and explain whats happened.
You need to firstly apologise that you just made it up to be stupid and really now how stupid you were. say you love her and can you move on.
she may say no, but then arrange to get your stuff this weekend.
you'll have to learn from this
i think you need to stop texting her 3, 4,5 times. too much at the moment. does she live on her own? if not talk to whoever she lives with (mum, friend) and explain whats happened.
You need to firstly apologise that you just made it up to be stupid and really now how stupid you were. say you love her and can you move on.
she may say no, but then arrange to get your stuff this weekend.
you'll have to learn from this
Mate, you are in the wrong here.
You've hurt the woman you say you love terribly, and now your mulling over the possibility of setting the Old Bill on here if she cuts your clothes to rags ( which she WILL do, it's a female perogative in such circumstances).
Have a word with yourself mate, you're out of line.
You've hurt the woman you say you love terribly, and now your mulling over the possibility of setting the Old Bill on here if she cuts your clothes to rags ( which she WILL do, it's a female perogative in such circumstances).
Have a word with yourself mate, you're out of line.
just seen your answer about the theft and police. Hold off doing something stupid like that. she hasnt stolen anything. it was only last night and you need to get a grip. i know you are stressed and in turmoil but the GF needs to work out in her head what/or what not you have done.
i strongly disagree that she is perfect as getting you manhandled was bang out of order and immature.
Arrange to get your stuff this weekend with her but arrange to talk. you need to seperate with a view of seeing if it will work again.
i strongly disagree that she is perfect as getting you manhandled was bang out of order and immature.
Arrange to get your stuff this weekend with her but arrange to talk. you need to seperate with a view of seeing if it will work again.
If she does cut up your clothes you should be grateful this is the only thing she cuts up.
Even if she does believe that you haven't cheated it is probably harder for her to get your head around why you would say such things, i mean stupidty doesnt even come close, what reasons can she possibly put in her head why you would say those things to try and forgive you.
I would text saying that you are sorry and you know nothing you can do will put things right and can you arrange to pick up your stuff .
Even if she does believe that you haven't cheated it is probably harder for her to get your head around why you would say such things, i mean stupidty doesnt even come close, what reasons can she possibly put in her head why you would say those things to try and forgive you.
I would text saying that you are sorry and you know nothing you can do will put things right and can you arrange to pick up your stuff .
ok, i understand what your all saying about the police thing and your right it is only from last night. however i have asked a friend who is a policeman where i do stand on certain things, just so i'm in th know. (and its not just my clothes she has, also my TV, Hi-Fi, and some kitchen stuff as microwave etc - its a long story)
also as badgerchops said, no i dont know who the guy was, but what he did was apparently common assualt. like all of you say, i will leave her and not text her, and yes i do want her back, but i also need to know where i stand, just in case.
also as badgerchops said, no i dont know who the guy was, but what he did was apparently common assualt. like all of you say, i will leave her and not text her, and yes i do want her back, but i also need to know where i stand, just in case.
I reckon you may have a bit of a fight on your hands.... this sounds like it may very well turn nasty and the shame of it is that an apparently long and loving relationship will end so tragically and most of all, unnecessarily.
So despite my angry and annoyed 2nd post, I feel really sad for you both.
So despite my angry and annoyed 2nd post, I feel really sad for you both.
thanks jeanette1976.
im really sad too.
the problem is now i just cant get out of my head the way it all happened last night and that maybe shes planning this sort of thing all along.
im so angry and hate myself so much for it all, and at the same time cant get rid of this stomoch churning emptyness!!!
i love her so much.
im really sad too.
the problem is now i just cant get out of my head the way it all happened last night and that maybe shes planning this sort of thing all along.
im so angry and hate myself so much for it all, and at the same time cant get rid of this stomoch churning emptyness!!!
i love her so much.
As i said i disagree and think the GF should not have got the heavy handed chap in on it. BUT easymt to worry about your microwave, hifi and clothes etc at this early stage is very silly. Yes the man shouldnt have ruffled you up and it is common assault however do you really wanna go down that route of prosecuting him. ithink not. its best to walk away and let it all calm down.
again i think text her this.
' i don't know where to begin but i am truly sorry for what has happened this week. We have had _ months together and i have fallen for you hard. I think maybe i felt it was too good to be true and said something stupid on Monday to get a reaction. Its my error and i did not expect the reaction i got. i know i have hurt you and have to learn to never be so stupid again. i will take your lead on where to go from here. if you want a break, albeit permanent or temporary then i will come and collect my things this weekend. if you would prefer not to see me, can i please send someone over (suggest a mutual friend) to get my bits. Again i am so sorry and have felt like a fool all day. i love you and would love to get together this weekend to have a calm talk.
or along them lines.....
Also, when you collect your stuff DONT worry about a stupid hifi and microwave. just get your clothes unless she suggests the other things. you want her back and so to remove every possession would kill that option
again i think text her this.
' i don't know where to begin but i am truly sorry for what has happened this week. We have had _ months together and i have fallen for you hard. I think maybe i felt it was too good to be true and said something stupid on Monday to get a reaction. Its my error and i did not expect the reaction i got. i know i have hurt you and have to learn to never be so stupid again. i will take your lead on where to go from here. if you want a break, albeit permanent or temporary then i will come and collect my things this weekend. if you would prefer not to see me, can i please send someone over (suggest a mutual friend) to get my bits. Again i am so sorry and have felt like a fool all day. i love you and would love to get together this weekend to have a calm talk.
or along them lines.....
Also, when you collect your stuff DONT worry about a stupid hifi and microwave. just get your clothes unless she suggests the other things. you want her back and so to remove every possession would kill that option
