Starmer And The Southpost Triple...
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Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
14 Answers
As some of you will see from reading my posting the other day i made a compleate arse of myselfto say the least, but in reality i only had my gf's best interest and saftey at heart.
i now have all my stuff as we met yesterday. she was stone cold towards me then, but ive not given up all hope and have continued to text her. her texts back have been getting a little nicer and a glimmer of hope has been showing (although still no kisses from her on the end of the texts)
now she is saying that she wants me to write to her telling her exactly why i said what i did. i've been trying to tell her but it's really not coming out right.
anyone got any ideas as i love this woman with all my heart and so want her to be my future, forever.
any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks to you all for all help and support through this time.
p.s. if it helps my old post can be found here:
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion335864.html
i now have all my stuff as we met yesterday. she was stone cold towards me then, but ive not given up all hope and have continued to text her. her texts back have been getting a little nicer and a glimmer of hope has been showing (although still no kisses from her on the end of the texts)
now she is saying that she wants me to write to her telling her exactly why i said what i did. i've been trying to tell her but it's really not coming out right.
anyone got any ideas as i love this woman with all my heart and so want her to be my future, forever.
any and all help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks to you all for all help and support through this time.
p.s. if it helps my old post can be found here:
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion335864.html
Answers
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She seems extremely childish to me either that or she's dead hot on lying and can't stand it. Tell her you only said it for the true reason that you did say it. If your telling the truth on here then tell her what you told us. The idea of writing to her is nice, you can tell her what you want to whereas you probably only usually use text messages which is in no way proper communication. If it helps and she has access to a pc, give her the link to your initial post on this site to show how u felt and why u originally said it. Good luck x
P.S. It wasn't the biggest lie ever so if she is really hung up over this lie then there may be a bigger reason behind her asking you to leave.
P.S. It wasn't the biggest lie ever so if she is really hung up over this lie then there may be a bigger reason behind her asking you to leave.
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Maybe i'm sounding cynical but why is she so keen you get it down in writing and can't talk face to face?
By all means write it down, but it should come from you and not what she wants to hear or else you are making a rod for your own back. Express how sorry you are but don't go over the top with the grovelling unless you want to give her a long lasting upper hand.
How deep did the lie actually go, was it a one off brief mention or did it go deeper and how did she find out?
Although not the best way of doing things I can see how you were trying to protect her but to her she probably wonders what else you may have been lying about. Have there been any lack of trust issues in the past or suspicions etc...
It's also possible it put her through a load of worry because if it that was actually unneccesary and she feels that you were trying to control her through deceit.
Try and think of a similar scenario and think how you would feel, say she doesn't like you drinking as it worries her so she makes up some lie to keep you away from your favourite local or the people you drink with or she thinks where you work is stressing you out so makes up a lie about hearing about looming redunancies or similar to get you to leave.
By all means write it down, but it should come from you and not what she wants to hear or else you are making a rod for your own back. Express how sorry you are but don't go over the top with the grovelling unless you want to give her a long lasting upper hand.
How deep did the lie actually go, was it a one off brief mention or did it go deeper and how did she find out?
Although not the best way of doing things I can see how you were trying to protect her but to her she probably wonders what else you may have been lying about. Have there been any lack of trust issues in the past or suspicions etc...
It's also possible it put her through a load of worry because if it that was actually unneccesary and she feels that you were trying to control her through deceit.
Try and think of a similar scenario and think how you would feel, say she doesn't like you drinking as it worries her so she makes up some lie to keep you away from your favourite local or the people you drink with or she thinks where you work is stressing you out so makes up a lie about hearing about looming redunancies or similar to get you to leave.
OK, so you told a pretty rotten lie, but it was a little one which, if the girl had any sense, she could have verified herself quite easily. You clearly did it in order to keep her safe. OK, maybe you were a little foolish, but it was nothing. In the circumstances, she overreacted big-time, and if it takes a white lie to make her kick you out, what would she do if you were to make a more serious mistake?
I'm sure you do still think she's 'the one' just now, and that's to be expected. You're still in shock, I would imagine, finding it hard to believe what's happened. Everyone telling you she's not worth your love, you're better off without her etc etc isn't going to change your mind.
Can I suggest you give yourself a break. Find something to do, somewhere to go, some friends to be with, and promise yourself you won't contact her today. Then tomorrow, promise yourself you won't contact her for two days, until after Christmas, a month - you get the idea. One day at a time. I promise you, six weeks from now, you'll understand what they're all saying and you'll probably wonder why you were ever with her in the first place.
I'm sure you do still think she's 'the one' just now, and that's to be expected. You're still in shock, I would imagine, finding it hard to believe what's happened. Everyone telling you she's not worth your love, you're better off without her etc etc isn't going to change your mind.
Can I suggest you give yourself a break. Find something to do, somewhere to go, some friends to be with, and promise yourself you won't contact her today. Then tomorrow, promise yourself you won't contact her for two days, until after Christmas, a month - you get the idea. One day at a time. I promise you, six weeks from now, you'll understand what they're all saying and you'll probably wonder why you were ever with her in the first place.
I'm not going to sugar coat this, you need to have a good hard look at yourself for the following reasons:
If you were that worried for her safety, why didn't you walk the dog with her? Or better still walk it yourself.
If you can't tell the "love of your life" how sorry you are and why you lied how can you tell complete strangers on the world wide web?
Instead of lying, why didn't you find somewhere else to walk the dog?
To be perfectly honest she has you wrapped round her little finger and you're best off out of it, I reckon if you didn't say what you said she would have kicked you out for something else.
Chin up son.
If you were that worried for her safety, why didn't you walk the dog with her? Or better still walk it yourself.
If you can't tell the "love of your life" how sorry you are and why you lied how can you tell complete strangers on the world wide web?
Instead of lying, why didn't you find somewhere else to walk the dog?
To be perfectly honest she has you wrapped round her little finger and you're best off out of it, I reckon if you didn't say what you said she would have kicked you out for something else.
Chin up son.
hi guys,
yes this is honestly the whole thing. now she is saying that im trying to minipulate her and get her into a quivering wreak.
i love this girl and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her.
are all women like this?
im so confused and set up all night trying to write this letter to her - 3 pages in ive still got nowhere really!!
yes this is honestly the whole thing. now she is saying that im trying to minipulate her and get her into a quivering wreak.
i love this girl and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her.
are all women like this?
im so confused and set up all night trying to write this letter to her - 3 pages in ive still got nowhere really!!
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