Losing Money

[liquidspace]

Has anyone here lost a lot of money and had to live with it?

[Theland]

After your last post, Miss, I'd say get out today, NOW! There'll be other Christmases, and you'll be better off without him.

[liquidspace]

Yes I wish I could but I have nowhere to go, no family and I cannot afford to live on my own. I have just been hit with a �6k tax bill (they overpaid me wftc) which Im paying off at �500 a month for another ten months, that leaves me with virtually nothing, so Im kinda stuck.

[noxlumos]

Right Liquidspace, that's nothing short of bullying and manipulative (as all addicts are) so at least for now you really do need to place some space between you and this man.
I disagree with with WendyS that people with addictions can't change, but he won't whilst he has you willing to feed his compulsion, so you need to make it clear that the money supply stops now. Be prepared for him to erupt and yell and be absolutely vile because he probably will.
Leave, tell him if he wants to quit gambling you are there for him, but until he does, that's it.
Stick to it.
It doesn't mean he doesn't love you that he behaves like this, just that his compulsion is overwhelming him and until he's ready to address his own addiction you'll get nowehere.
I gamble and lot, but mostly poker and long term I'm well up, so it's not the same thing and I can either gamble or not, but I have been addicted to other things and know how hard it will be for him to stop and how destructive it is for you toremain wit him whilst he's still like this.
Try and give yourself some space and sort things out so that he knows clearly there's no more money coming.
I did once lose a huge amount of money ( not gambling, through divorce) but at the end of the day it's only money, you can and will make some more and it's not the end of the world, it can be replaced. Just concentrate on getting yourself into a space where you can be happy.

[liquidspace]

Thanks Nox, that is a very insightful and knowledgeable answer. You are right in what you say, totally.

I am standing my ground and saying no now, after having lost around �30,000 or so, probably more actually. This is why my problem here is so huge (its my whole life that has been affected).

In a way its too late - I should have stopped a long time ago, this time last year I still had 20k. Trouble is that with someone like me, I fall for a bit of smooth talk, bit of flattery, thinking that someone loves me etc and I have been manipulated but very gullible. It has made me angry that I have been like this but I somehow have to deal with it.

[felinechums]

My friend was in a relationship for nine years - signed over half the property to the partner (who had put nothing into the purchase). One week later the partner walked out. Lost about �150,000.

[liquidspace]

Thats bad. I had �70k in my bank account so it was real money, still ..its all my own fault.

[naz_nomad]

about 85k ...to my ex ....


money well spent I think