Dot, you have touched a raw nerve in all of us. I lost my mother in 1993 aged 68 and Dad died in 2005 aged 87.
Oh what people! That generation that went through WW2 and so many hardships, hardly complaining!
But regardless of when, or who, bereavement lingers on, like the final echos of a beautiful song, whose words are oftentimes only half remambered. Then there is the guilt that we feel for not remembering the full score.
Could we have done more, been better, more loving, less selfish? .... and the answer is in your case I am sure, that you could not have done any more, given any more, but that is the nature of true love, and so you are the casualty of love, but your love will be rewarded, for those who love, are loved.