Domestic violence part 2

[girlygirl]

Now I'm going to sound horrible but selfishly on my part, like I said, I have a 2 year old Daughter and she does expect me to go around WHATEVER time of night when this happens and its knackering! We were in A & E until 3am this morning and in the end we walked out because there was still another 4 hour wait on top of that! She was quite willing to stay and wait though, NOT because she was in pain but because she wanted to make her boyfriend worried! I still had to get up at 7am this morning with my Daughter and my friend has had the opportunity to sleep all day! She also was being very "loud" in the hopital - extremely offensive to most people including me, pestering the Nurses and racially offensive to other patients. To be honest - I can see why he did loose his temper.......... I should add, she does hit him and has really hurt him in the past, including last night. Please advise what YOU would do.

Thanks and sorry for the long post..... x

[girlygirl]

Oh and for the record her hand wasnt broken but badly bruised and the so called bone sticking out was swelling...........

[johnlambert]

I would find another friend
end of

[skyep]

girly - Cut all ties. It must be causing trouble between you & your husband. Let the police deal with it. They are another example of a relationship founded on alchohol, dependant on each other. You can't really help in this scenario. I like a drink myself, maybe get a bit merry sometimes, but I wouldn't dream of abusing a friendship like this.

[crete]

its obvious you have no wish to be involved with this ongoing situation, you can always say no, my issue is that you stated if she assaulted him he has the right to assault her back................ no a male hitting a woman is in general a more severe attack because of stature and weight. if your priority is not this friend over your own family then dont get involved. but please advise your friend she should seek advice re the domestic violence

[$layer]

tell her to get on with it and leave you out of it

[pussnboots]

If shes a friend, wouldnt like to meet your enemies.
Sounds to me like this friendship is all one sided. Either lay the law down when shes sober or Im afraid you will have to ditch her. Shes not worth the hassle.

[ummmm]

No win I'm afraid....If you want her as a friend then this baggage goes with her. And yea, although I don't agree with domestic violence, some women provoke it more than others. So the chances are this will happen forever what ever man she is with.

[ReinaLuna]

You're not being selfish here AT ALL girly, she is!!! If I had a friend with a 2 year old child, I wouldn't call this person at 23:30h if it wasn't for a real serious issue!
If it was the first time it happened, ok, you would be right in feeling guilty by not helping her more, but being a habit, let her live her drunk life and the alcohol sc*rew her brains, people like that only think about themselves really... you deserve better.

[joko]

just put your foot down, next time she is injured - call an ambulance, and tell her you cannot go with her.

she does this because you give in every time. if you stop she won't keep calling.

[knobbynonuts]

To be quite honest here get rid of this drama queen and put your 2 year old FIRST as she deserves your attention 10000 times more than the attention seeking loser that you call a friend have you been watching the storyline in corronation street over the past few months about tracey as this sounds sjmilar to me
Will put this basiclly now your friend is mentaly disturbed so please get out now for the sake of your daughter before she starts on you as people like her will eventualy will

[girlygirl]

Thank you all so much for your advice and thoughts.
ABers never fail when you really need them.
You have made me feel much better and I have a lot of thinking to do.

I think my plan of action is that I'm going to sit down with her whilst she is sober, explain that it's exhausting me coming to her's all hours when she claims it's an emergency and it's not.
I hope then, she will understand that this has gone on long enough and not do it again. If it does, I will say about phoning the Police/Ambulance. If she won't consent then I will remind her of our previous conversation. Afterall, if it really is an emergency then surely there won't be a problem....

Knobbynonuts - it's a very interesting point you have made. Does anyone know if this "really" happens? Women pretending to have been assulted?

Thanks again guys. Any new ideas are still welcome.....

[megan07]

Hi girlygirl i think you need to try and distance your self from this girl she sounds a pest and she must have no consideration for you .
she sounds self centred and she is not thinking of your daughter or your husband you need to be careful that she dose not cause any friction in your marriage.
please be careful and just stick with good friends.
love megan

[Roughquest]

Its awful really that men get a bad press where domestic violence if concerned, I have myself just been involved with a new man in my life - its early days but he has been opening up and talking with me about his situation with his ex girlfriend, she was very volatile and used to beat him up on a daily basis, and he retaliated, he broke her arm, but its provocation, everyone blames him - he is the nasty one, but no one bothers to listen the both sides which is very sad, people are too quick to judge IMHO. Then again drink isnt helping in this situation either, it can bring out the worst in people. As she is a friend of yours - she needs your help and support to seek counselling - she has a BIG problem here which will get worse...

[knobbynonuts]

Hi there again girlygirl to be quite honest again it will not do any good to sit her down when she is sober as whatever you say to her then will all go out of the window when she has had a few drinks and the same thing will happen over and over and over again but is it your choice to break that visiouse circle I dont think that you can.
What I read here is you are a weak person and sorry do not mean that nasty and your so called freiind is just a frigging big bully so please girlygiry we all love you on here and respect you as you only have to look at the replies you have

[girlygirl]

Hi Knobbynonuts - when I first read your reply I was quite shocked and a bit hurt about you saying that I was a weak person. I have thought about it though and I suppose I am. I hate letting people down and not being a good friend so I suppose I left myself open to being taken advantage of, however, as I put my trust in her I didnt expect it to be abused but it has.
She has just rang me asking me to take her to her Grandmas on Sunday (which is over an hour away, so she can sell her car to a neighbour or something) I said no.
I think you guys have really woken me up and it hurts a bit because I'll miss her but then again, she normally only makes me feel bad anyway, commenting on my looks etc. She is a pretty girl, size 4, money for lovely clothes etc and I'm just average.
I think it will be a plaster effect - stings at first but better in the long run to remove it.......
I appricate your honesty.
Here's to a stronger me..... (Clink your glass with mine!!!!) :O)

[grumpii]

you are being used

[jacey]

girlygirl, You may think your friend is pretty! But it sounds like you are the true beauty here :-) your friend has no beauty inside, like you.

[Aprilis]

Girlygirl, if you were to sit down with this so-called friend of yours and try to reason with her she will no doubt send you on a big guilt trip and make you feel like you are letting her down. It is HER who is letting YOU down by being so self-absorbed that she is taking the best of you for herself and leaving little left for your baby girl and your husband.
Your little one won't be little for very long and you need to be cherishing every moment of her development. One day you may look back and regret the time you wasted in favour of a self-centred woman who is certainly not a friend in the true sense. Our children grow up so very quickly and your daughter deserves your time and energy far more than that bad-tempered loser of a 'friend' does.

What kind of friend takes a mother away from her 2 yr old child and leaves her too tired to spend quality time with her own family? Imagine yourself expecting another person to do what she asks you to do. I bet you wouldn't dream of asking, let alone expecting that of another person. You would no doubt think it's unreasonable. And you would be dead right! She is peeing on you from a great height!

A real friend is someone like yourself, who makes sacrifices for her friends. Not someone who gets others to make sacrifices for their own self-interest.

If you think of it in terms of what that woman is taking from you and it's effect on your husband and your little girl I am sure that you will find it far easier to say no to her in future with a clear conscience.

I'm reading this back and thinking it sounds like I am lecturing you. I really don't mean to, I am just so aggrieved on your behalf! I really hope you manage to work things out without feeling bad about it.