Obsessional Pal?

[Lezzel]

Wonder if anyone agrees with me here - my pal seems to be obsessed with her nephew. Since he was born she has given him everything. She spent over �500 for his 1st birthday for instance. In her flat she approx 6 pictures of him in her bdroom, one in her hall and 4 in her living room. She also has him on her mobile phone as a wallpaper!! Just seen what she has bought him for his next birthday and there is more clothes there than you can imagine. She keeps him overnight very often and on her only day off of the week she babysitts him even if his mum (her half sis!) is off work or something. If he goes away on hols with his parents she almost seems lost without him. She even keeps messages on her answerphone of him phoning. Maybe its me but i think she needs to stop this with him! and soon! Or am i wrong!??

[redcrx]

If shes happy with what shes doing then leave her be. As a friend ou should be able to accept her as she is, even if she lives her life differently to how you live yours. Just because shes not out looking for a fella and prefers to spend time with her family doesnt mean she will never be happy.
Why not tag along next time she has her nephew for the day, you find you enjoy youself and see what it is that she loves about her life.
If, in the future she finds herself lost and a bit lonely when she no longer has the chances to see her nephew, then as a friend you can be there for her.
Children are a wonder and I cant see anything wrong with enjoying their youth and love of the world and sharing that stage of life with them. i think its lovely that my sisters and brother take such interest in my son and I know that I'll be the same when they have children of their own.

[Lezzel]

Not jealous at all. Im very happy with what i have in life. To be honest its not just me who has mentioned her totally obsession with him so im quite happy with my way of thoughts about it. The problem is when he is all grown up and doing his own thing and there are no pals there for her - what will she be left with. Not much. Will see though!

Thanks for everyone's replies - been interesting !!

[4getmenot]

Then if she's not left with much then thats entirely up to her, you said you have tried so dont worry too much about it. Let her live her life. or carry on talking about obsession with your mates. You dont sound much of a friend anway.

[Octavius]

B!tching amongst friends about her �bratty� nephew and criticising her for her �unhealthy obsession� and having no boyfriend. No wonder she doesn�t want to go out with you!

[tiny e.a]

Hiya, I don't think you're jelous, it sounds like you're genuinely concerned for your friend. I think it does sound quite obsessive, there is a difference between 1)having alot of time for your nephew/nieces, loving them with all your heart, and 2)living your whole life for them. It's not healthy to live your whole life for any children, your own or anyone elses. I mean, obviously you do to some extent, you would give your life for them, but people should also have/keep their own interests.

It sounds like you have tried so there's not much more you can do. I agree it might be a good idea to spend a day with her and her nephew, it might give you a better idea of whether she is genuinely happy doing it or whether she's being used by her sister. It might put your own mind at rest too if you find it is just genuinely what she enjoys doing.

[Reverandfunk]

To be honest who cares? If she wants to spoil him then let her. No different to a husband spoiling his wife, grandparents and grandkids etc etc.

[Lezzel]

Thanks Tiny! Totally agree with what you said. Although i have spent time with him and he isnt the easiest child to have! Has run out on the road, hit other children and generally been a bit of pest. I kept my mouth shut and said nothing - wasnt my place but not an easy child by no means!! I spent a lot of time with children - i do voluntary work with them twice a week ages from 7 - 15 year olds so no a bit about kids. Unfortunately ive found the more you spoil some of them the more they want and they use it as a tool for getting what they want if they play up!!

Ah well - been an eye opener for me this morning with everyone's opinions !!

Thanks again

[4getmenot]

I dont know that that is true. My newphew isnt spoilt but has plenty of family that are around him all the time. He is well behaved and I think having this interaction has made him very intelligent too. I wouldnt ever buy him things that he doesnt need though and leave big presents for birthdays.

[Reverandfunk]

Hi 4get can I stalk u please lol

[Lezzel]

This child gets EVERYTHING!! Even on Monday when i saw her she had a 2 bagfuls of toys for him she had just bought him. He is quiet for a wee while then starts playing up then gets something else to stop him! Im not a mother but i hope i wouldnt do that with my child. Each to their own i suppose!

[4getmenot]

Yer I cant see any point with toys all the time, there is paying a child attention and then there is spoiling them. But people do it, wouldn�t be my choice as yes children can turn out to be right little brats and wont learn that they have to do things to get back things in life. But hey at end of day this is what she�s choosing to do, and I�m sure if the sister didn�t agree she�d stop it but she hasn�t so will have to deal with him being a brat when he�s older and not knowing the values of life.

[4getmenot]

and I didnt think stalkers usually asked rev :-)

[Reverandfunk]

But I'm special...... lol

[Mr Tall]

Kids make people happy. My Nephew is 18 months now and I like nothing better then having a kick about with him, I got him an Arsenal kit the day he was born and was happier the 1st time he kicked a ball then when he could walk or say his 1st word which was apple by the way. What I'm trying to say is if it makes her happy let her be. And anyway he'll be a teenager soon so let her enjoy while hes young and hasn't yet got a criminal record.