question to all

[laurencelolo]

45 yesterday, never felt so crap. Needs sound advice. I have known this gentlemen for a few years now through business. I know that he fancy me a lot and i do too. What do i do my friends??????????????????? xxx

[Scarlett]

you GO FOR IT. Life is not a rehearsal. You only get one shot. If he now finds someone else you will kick yourself for not making the effort. Who knows, he could be your future! Ask him out. Or something. But don't do nothing.

[laurencelolo]

there is a but. of course. i am still in a appalling relationship and feels my life passing by.
this gentlemen has dropped hints to my daughter that he fancy me and always make compliments to me.
He seems shy in that matter and i feel that it is wrong to approach him

[Rubyrose]

Ditch the appalling relationship....... Life is too short... whats the point? If you aren't happy then why bother? Take the risk.... Life is what happens when you are making other plans.... blink and you will be 55... will you still be in this appalling relationship? Grab life with both hands and sort it out.. before this guy slips through the net!

[laurencelolo]

Ok i am not clever at this! very much still working the old fashion way. How do i drop a hint to this men that i care too!
careful i am 45 and feel bit gauche !

[pastafreak]

Go for it!!! We all have found ourselves in relatonships that can only go no-where,relationships that leave us hurt,bruised and with little hope that things can be different. When something good comes along don't deny yourself-he may be your soulmate. Maybe you will find something lasting-even if you don't it will give you a taste of how good things COULD or MIGHT be. If he has dropped hints to your daughter maybe he hopes she will let you know of his feelings...maybe she can be a go-between!

[pastafreak]

ps-happy birthday!!

[laurencelolo]

hi hi pastafreak! how great you are back ! how are you?
got so much to says.

[Scarlett]

YOu have to be brave here, something we are not too good at, us reserved brits.. Life is very short and he clearly likes you, but he may not be around forever. I have found the best way is through a helpful mate. ie- your daughter. First you need to ditch the rubbish relationship. Don't give it a second thought. Tell him it's over TONIGHT. YOu will feel so much better when you have done this!! I don't know your living arrangements, but if he is living with you, ask him to leave. Tell him how you honestly feel, like you did us- tell him the relationship is over, and that you have been unhappy for a long time. THEN tell your daughter that you have been harbouring feelings for this other chap, and she could drop a hint if she likes. On finding out you are single he will doubtless ask you out. Take it slow though, it's never a good idea going straight from one relationship ot another!x

[pastafreak]

Hiya Laurencelolo! haven't seen YOU here in ages. It certainly sounds like you have a lot to think about girl. I hope you take a chance and follow your heart. You must take a chance not just for yourself but for your daughter...if she is young she needs to be living in a happy home with a mum who is content with her life. Do keep in touch and let us know what happens!

[laurencelolo]

oh thanks pastafreak lovely to see you around again!
thanks for all messages of encouragement bloody needs it
i am so old fashion and i think it is not polite for a women to make the first move my god yes getting old then i will be wearing pleated nylon skirt and pushing the old shopping trolley down the post office every thursday am and still around with the same men FOREVER with no sex in the horizon do you know since last year i ve been sleeping on the sofa ? no cuddle no kisses no *&%$ing love NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[laurencelolo]

wise and true! sneaking behind naaah that is not me.
Probably dying for loving thats all! just realised recently
that i ve never had that!

[laurencelolo]

thanks legend for the wise words true that sometimes we do lose the end of the stick.

[pastafreak]

Those were wise words from legend....regret is a TERRIBLE thing. After many unhappy years with someone who made me feel stupid, I walked out on my husband for someone else. why? because this man accepted me and made me feel trully loved for the first time in my life. It did not work out tho we are still in touch....but I will NEVER regret taking that chance because it showed me that there were possibilities, it also made me a more independent person....but i am still spending my Friday nite staring at a computer screen!! lol! how sad is that??? lol

[laurencelolo]

i agree with you pastafreak cos you and i must have had a similar excistance i to this day have a small scar on my gob to remind me of the days and i feels numb now as my hubby enterred a depression and illness has no longer any time for me and is afraid of losing me i think cos i stood up against him and said no more. but not strong enough to leave him cos i have the feeling he would finish himself.......

[pastafreak]

Hah! I knew my leaving wouldn't finish mine cos every time we had a fight he would tell me to go back to the States!!...nice,huh? He just used words to hurt me which of course made me do that horrible (to men )female thing of getting all emotional and screeching alot! lol You say you have been sleeping on the sofa...is that your choice? Do you still have feelings for him or are you staying out of a feeling of responsibility?

[pastafreak]

Hah! ANOTHER work colleague gets in the way.....mine went off with his research assistant ! Hey-laurencelolo-maybe you should encourage your depressed hubby to socialize with his secretary/work mates....

[laurencelolo]

beeing sleeping on that damn sofa since last year!
my own decision as he get bad nights. I still care very much but it is more a brother/sister love .
My life has been nothing for years, no holidays, no days out with family, nothing and my childrens now are grow up and urging me to leave .
My hub can not touch me no more or hurt me mentally but i am very much concern that my departure would finish him.
And i do not know what to do