Kids hidden from the world until they're 14

[AB Asks]

Parents are so scared their child will be hurt or abducted that they won't allow children to play out on their own until they are 14. In turn this is creating children that feel isolated and lonely a study by the children's society has shown. What do you think? Would you let your child play out alone if they are under 14? What kind of effect will this cotton-wool approach to child rearing have in the long run?

[missrandom]

warpig, the kids down your road are lucky to have you there, most people dont seem to give a hoot, too busy getting on with their own life. When my son is out, I dont feel comfortable, but i just took that as my own insecurities, i force myself to let him out.
Littlemiss is some ways you are lucky, you can teach your children who this man is, how dangerous he is, and how they must never go anywhere near him. There are probably lots of peadophiles hanging around parks everywhere, at least you have the luxury of knowing one to avoid:-)

[4getmenot]

Ok I�ll put it a different way, Why would there be any more peodophiles than there was years ago. That�s like saying more mental people, wouldn�t say it changes as it�s a mental condition.

[4getmenot]

and surely they would do it more years ago as they got away with it. You think of all those people coming out know that were abused when they were younger

[4getmenot]

*now*

[warpig3]

Good point 4get, when I was about 10 and on holiday I was waiting on a friend and this man was watching me, he then came up and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with him, I said no and he left, but I didn't even tell my parents what had happened although I knew it was untoward. If this had happened today I am sure the child would have told their parents and the parents would then called the police. As with Bigmammas story earlier, she did tell her mum but no further action was taken.

[4getmenot]

A woman tried pushing me into a car when I was about 17!

[missrandom]

yes i do take your point, iam sure there probably aren't anymore peado's around than there used to be, however there wasnt the internet as a form of communication, nor the amount of child pornography.

[missrandom]

sorry i meant it for 4getmenot :-)

[4getmenot]

no but there as there is more access to child porn nowadays there is more people aware, so I think it kind of levels it out

[missrandom]

yeah i suppose, but then they (peadophiles), are so damn sneaky and manipulative that parents/carers etc dont know its happening. the peado's manipulate the children into not talking, and making them believe its there fault. so there might be more awareness of it, but its often the people you dont expect eg trusted family members, step parents etc

[missrandom]

also child porn is a lucrative buisness ( as sick as it is), and there are, unfortunatly, people who are willing to take the risk.
That said i do still think kids should be allowed out to play, and taught the dangers they may face and how best to deal with them.

[sense4all]

In the seventies we were flashed at in the local area of outstanding natural beauty ... we laughed and pointed : I often wonder if went home upset. My parents were straight onto the local cop shop! We had to go in a police car and see if we could find him again. My mate got a smack when she was asked "is that him?" ... she "I don't know ,can you get him to open his coat " we were about nine or ten.
My childs tutor turned out to be a kiddie fiddler! Not my kids luckily ... and these people are masters of deception you'd never sleep again if you thought about it too much!

[missrandom]

exactly sense4all!! they are masters of deception, couldnt have put it better.

[Katie~77]

I will be saying to my children exactly what my parents said to me "If you want to play outside go out in the garden". There is no way on earth that I will be letting my children roam the streets.x

[bensmum]

We were always awaree as children that there were certain people around, men mainly, who should be avoided but no-one ever said why. I used to let my children out to play as long as there were several of them and they did not go away from outside the house. i was lucky though in that we lived in a small close where there were several children of the same age but they were never allowed out after dark. Mine used to walk to school on their own from when they were 10. Children need to learn to be independent but getting the balance is the tricky thing. I would be very concerned about a child spending a lot of time on the internet as they can meet all sorts of people there. Where do you draw the line?

[alijangra]

Something happened to me as a child, not too bad but frightening and confusing all the same. It was a trusted elderly neighbour. I also know of a few friends and an ex who were subjected to abuse to varying degrees (by different people, but all known to them). It is nothing new. When I have a child i will make sure, without frightening them, that they know what is acceptable and what is not. When it happened to me, I was told my parents would give me the belt and put me in care. And you really do believe that when you are 5 years old.

[Rossatron]

I think there are just as many "odd folk" nowadays as there was back then . . . it just seems that now, it is much easier for those people to satisfy (for want of a better word) their thought . .whereas, in the past, they would've been repressed due to little public knowledge of it, or escalate to an extreme. When it comes to this rubbish about 14 year olds never being let out, I think that's awful!! I'm 16 and have always been allowed to cycle off and go out, of cause, I can see it depends on where you live and the situation . . .but freedoms can come in many different respects. My neighbours (same age) where hardly ever allowed to do a thing(won't generalise, lol) but, they have no creativity, no insight, no initiative . . sad really

[Silversky]

My mum had alot of bad experiences when she was a kid. Nowdays, because alot of parents believe it'll happen to their children, I think thats why they won't let them out.
To be fair, I'm 16 and I was never really wrapped up in cotton wool that much, and now I know for myself whats safe and what isn't.
I think the publicity now is alot stronger, and more paedophiles etc. are being caught.
Therefore putting it into peoples minds that theres more out there compared to say the 70s.
Some of my friends are so scared of everything, animals, even stupid things like shop assistants, because they were basically taught by their parents that these were bad things.
Totally mad I think.
Wrapping Kids up in cotton-wool isn't gonna help them in the future. Although, there has to be rules and you have to have an idea of when they're just too young. Its also to do with the maturity of the child rather than their actual age.
Because alot of older teenagers do stupid things and get into trouble (i.e Date rape) But you can't wrap a 18 year old in cotton wool now can you?

[missrandom]

wow, Rossatron and Silversky for such young ones you two have really good heads on your shoulders!! must be all that freedom you were allowed, lol! seriously though i aggree. xx