Kids hidden from the world until they're 14

[AB Asks]

Parents are so scared their child will be hurt or abducted that they won't allow children to play out on their own until they are 14. In turn this is creating children that feel isolated and lonely a study by the children's society has shown. What do you think? Would you let your child play out alone if they are under 14? What kind of effect will this cotton-wool approach to child rearing have in the long run?

[bigmamma]

I remember walking back from ballet class as a child in the 60s and a man trying to abduct me by ushering me into his car , fortunately I struggled and ran away .

[4getmenot]

I watched this on tv this morning and a child is no more at risk today than they were 30 years ago. Peodophiles just wernt talked about as much back then. I went out alone from about the age of 12 and had to take my lil sis with me.

[warpig3]

Bigmamma, I guess many people have had similar experiences to you but with todays modern media it has become more high profile. For instance the first child abduction I remember was Jeanette Tate in the mid 70's, it did happen before then but maybe not so much publicised. After you experience did you parents keep you in, were the police called? Were you scared to go out?

[4getmenot]

my mum saw three flashers when she was young.

[missrandom]

i may get people jumping on me here, but i let my 7 yr old play out the front on his bike on his own. i check he's ok, he's not allowed in the road or around the corner, but at some point i will let him. I think it benefits children greatly to be given some freedom, and to be able to make sensible choices about the situations they get in, afterall we all learn from our mistakes.

[4getmenot]

yer lots of kids are out playing in the road in my town from 5 onwards. I think its different where you live.

[bigmamma]

no warpig , the police were not called , I still walked home alone and just got a pat on the head for being a good girl and running . Mum asked for a description but I don't think she did anything other than that .

[missrandom]

saying that, i do think there are more risks now, peadophiles are organised gangs now, but the children need to be given the tools to look after themselves, to learn how to keep safe. but like the statistics show, abuse is most likely to happen with someone known to the child, so keeping them in wont help too much!

[Ethel]

What about Myra Hindley and Ian Bradey - they were abducting children in the early 1960s.

There are no more paedophiles today than a hundred years ago. The per centage of the population is static.

What is different today is openness. I was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone that I had been flashed at - it is just the way my family were when I was a child. Many of my peers had the same experiences and couldn't tell.

Children today are as safe as they have ever been. Danger awareness is high, they have mobile phones, an open attitude where talking about problems and worries is encouraged, and know when something 'isn't right'.

My 13 year old neighbour has NEVER been out without an adult - not even to the local shop. She is taken to and from school and all her social activities. It is very sad, I think.

[warpig3]

miss randon there are about six kids living in houses very close to me between the ages of 4 and 7 and they are always out playing in the front gardens. That said it is a quite cul de sac and if one of them so much as cries the mums are straight out so they are obviously always watching and of course there is me sitting at the window on this computer all day, I feel like some sort of sentinel! Sadly bad things happen but to not allow a child to play on their own until 14 seems like stealing their childhood and I would like to see this 'study' AB refers to, as it can be seen from the news that many, many children are not kept in until the are 14.

[4getmenot]

but they said that there are no more child abductions than there were all them years ago. Maybe there are more organised gangs, but more people will report even the smallest of things nowadays. Those flashers my mum saw never got reported.

[4getmenot]

but does that mean just on their own, or are lots of children allowed to play together

[missrandom]

warpig i aggree i just said i let my son out and he's 7!! what i was saying is that in the older times, it was just "bad luck" (for want of a better expression) if you came across a peado, but now they are organised about finding children. for example in our local shopping centre a woman took het eyes of her son whilst looking in the shops, within minutes he was gone. she very quickly told security gaurds that were aware of peadophile gangs operating in the area, so they immediatly locked the whole centre, wouldnt let anyone out, they found the boy in the toilets with these men. they had changed his clothes and shaved his hair short so no-one would recognise the description!!! now if thats not organised i dont know what is.

[Neilzulu1]

I have five children and would not let them have a free run on where they would like to go. I drive my 13 year old to the park ( about 1.5 miles away ), as i do not wish to risk anything happening to him. This is how society is today, we have grown into a culture that trusts no one. None of my kids are allowed to just walk the streets. Better safe than sorry.

[LittleMissxx]

i wouldnt let mine out , wouldnt take the risk. Just a couple seconds could change thier lives and mine. No Way. would never forgive myself.

[LittleMissxx]

plus,..... forgot to say , theres a known peodo that hangs about the local park and in my own kids school yard but they never seem to get enough evidence to get him. He took pictures up little girls skirts in the park but they wernt considered indecent "enough" ..... crazy. So hell no, wont let them outta my sight

[warpig3]

Jeeze miss random that is very scary! With that in mind I can understand parents being so protective of their kids, I don't have any children myself but I do keep an eye on the little ones when they are out playing.

[Ethel]

It's always been the same though, littlemiss. Nasty men wanting to show children their puppies and so on. Nothing has changed since you were a child.

When are you going to let them go out? Will they have the necessary confidence to go out and enjoy themselves? The skills to cope?

[annie0000]

I think that it is important to let children out to play - there is nothing worse than a 13 year old that can't cross the road by themselves. The trick is to get the balance right. It is possible to give the impression that they have freedom but at the same time controlling the risk. My kids, almost 7 and almost 6 get out to play in the front, but must come and ask me before going into any of their friends houses, they are not allowed out of the cul de sac and they are unaware that I am watching them out the window!

They have only been allowed this over the last year, prior to this, I was always out the front with them.

My neighbours however let their 4 year old out to play and half the time I don't think that they even know where he is. He goes in and out everyone elses house and his parents have been known to assume that he is with someone else and go to the shops! I don't allow him in my house at all as I wont be left with the responsibility should his parents disappear.

That said, we do live in what would be called a "safe" area, but you just never know who your neighbours are really!

What I am dreading is when they ask for a sleepover at someones house.

[nannon]

Are there really the same amount of peadophiles now than there were before?? i know what your saying about more publicity about it now, but how can it be proved that there are the same amount now if there is no record because crime were not recorded as much back then? I'm not having a go but i owuld be intesested to find out more about it...i always thought that thereare a lot more 'bad' people around now...
oh and if i had kids i doubt i would let them play out by themselves- i dont think its worth the risk as much as i would probably like them to