pregnant!

[Mindie]

I am 12 weeks pregnant. I am booked in for a termination, it is entirely not my fault that it is at a late stage. I had my original booking in appointment for it a long time ago but there has been hold up after hold up. Now it is 2 weeks away, I am getting very nervous about it. I feel very pregnant and am very emotional. I have a child already.

I havent told the father of this pregnancy (dont really know what to call him). We have been in an on/off relationship for a long while now. I would say we were more friends with benefits but he has hinted that he would like more from the relationship. Ill add he is not the father of my other child and I dont want him to think this is what I do. The circumstances as to how I actually got pregnant have been a marel to the doctors I have seen as I supposedly have full proof contraception in place.

I am at a point now where I really want to tell him. Im not sure whether this me being selfish and just wanting to lift some of the load from me. If I tell him and do and will more likely just go ahead with the termination, I have achieved nothing other than cause some upset somewhere else. Then say we end up being together forever, do I really need this secret.

what would you do? Very interested to hear what the men here think.

[Shadow Man]

Mountainboo, the insensitivity started when people started talking of her fetal accident as an acyaul baby and not a blob which it actually is.

If people actually read what I wrote instead of jumping on an anti-wardy bandwagon, they would actually see that by dehumanising a fetus, I am in fact the most sensitive and kindess person here.

What a bunch of self-righteous morons AB has at the moment.

[mountainboo]

Ok shadowman, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better.
We're hardly self righteous, or morons.
Do you actually have feelings?

[liquidspace]

Look up some 12 week fetus' on the internet - I dont think you would then call them 'blobs'

p.s. sorry mindie - I do feel for you and I am going to stop there as I dont want to upset you, everyone is entitled to decide what they should do in their own personal lives, abortion or not, I can understand the reasons why some people have to do it.

[xhxmxsx]

i think he has a right to know whether you're going to keep it or terminate it , tell him that you're pregnant you dont want it and are having a termination you told him because you thought he had the right to know and nothing can change your mind

[mrs_overall]

How incredibly unhelpful & insensitive some of you are! This is obviously a traumatic enough time for MINDIE without some of the answers given on here. I've got my own very strong views on the subject of abortion but I would never dream of inflicting them on others.
My advice would be to tell him. I kicked Mr Overall awake from his post lunch nap and he agrees that he would want to know. Good luck to you at this difficult time.

[Reverandfunk]

It's your body so it's your call. Have it done and don't tell him.

What happens if he wants the kid and you don't?

You're in an off relationship as it is, do you really want to have a child just for the sake of it?

If you do have the child then you have got a lifelong bond with this man. Do you want that?

Hope it all goes ok.

[Whickerman]

I can give you a direct insight into how this affected me when i was in the situation with a girl i loved. She told me, and it damn near killed me.
BUT
You've made up your mind and you need to stick with it and get on with your life. Don't tell him, it will accomplish nothing but hurt. Bring a close girl friend too to help you.