help!

[nannon]

Me and my boyf still not sorted things out....don't think that we will. (which means my bidy and soul are severly damaged right now...)
Am in work barely holding it together - keep crying.
Please post things to cheer me up/keep me entertained!
Anything!!

[4getmenot]

but can you see that women that are beaten say 'he wouldnt normally do it' confused. There is no excuse and luckily nannon knows that. I think it is best that she knows this could be the only chance he gives her so to give him time and dont smother him.

[confused79]

I never said it was trival beleive me it wasn't it was very very serious and i posted about it in november last year.

[monkeyeyes]

Fair enough, nannon. But sometimes puncuation can dramatically alter the slant of a posting.

Anyway;

1. You haven't been getting on for a while,
2. He pushed you beyond your limits (and he would be aware which buttons to press to engineer this)
3. He is now twisting the situation round to where HE isn't in the wrong for goading, YOU are in the wrong for reacting.
4. He has texted you to say that it is over.

He is a manipulative bully who will only bring you pain and grief. He now has absolute control over you. You are in pain and distress and he will find ways to put you back there time and time again if you persist in this relationship, at this point.
Take him at his word. Walk away NOW.

If, and it's a pretty big IF, he does actually want to be in a relationship with you, let him do the work; the hard work, to win you back.

[johnlambert]

confused79
I'm trying to make nannon feel better!!!

[nannon]

monkey eyes - thank you for your input.
But what you have said is not true. He is far from a bully. He is not a horrible person at all. I know from what i've said he may not have come across very well - but in all fairness neither have I, have I?
He is a lovely person who obviously lost his temper, as did I - that doesnt make him a bad person, neither does it make me one.

You are right - he does owe me an apology as well, but with things the way they are I can live without one for now.

[confused79]

I know sorry so am i.

Well to make her feel better at least nothing happen like with me.

[monkeyeyes]

Bullies don't have to have one eye-brow and big fists, you know ! Psychological bullying is insidious and has many guises and is just as damaging as a back-hander.

I can tell that despite our best efforts you will go back to him if he asks.

As I believe this is a mistake, I wish you all the best and shall withdraw from this thread.

[Octavius]

Why this ridiculous notion that he asked for it and got it? Would it be the same if a woman had provoked a man and hit her for goodness sake? This is no joking matter.

If you were a man posting this nannon you would have been lynched by the AB Gestapo, banned by the AB ED and packed off to solitude in Sports Answerbank.

If I were the man in this incident you would never hear from me again, perhaps he is more forgiving. In my mind there is no place for violence in any relationship.

[nannon]

thanks for that octavius.
i you see - i have never tried to excuse myself and say i was right - i was totally wrong. And i have also said had it been the other way round i would have done the same thing by leaving.
Do you see me joking about it? No- i'm f*cking devestated that it happened - i will never forgive myself for it happening.
You'll prob be glad to know that i probably won't ever hear from him again - and yes, probably rightly so

[Octavius]

Why should I be glad?

As I said in my second post, he is probably just setting the boundaries of acceptable behaviour in the relationship. He may also be kicking himself for getting so enraged that he provoked you. He is probably embarrassed and humiliated and wished it never happened.

As said, he is trying to teach you a lesson. You have done all the pleading now, just let it rest a while and once he realises you will not go begging any more, he will probably come round. Then you�ll kiss and make up.

Be sorry, but retain some dignity.