Talk about bad luck

[hau kola]

I`ve often talked about deaths in my family on different threads without going into much detail.Ive had a couple of glasses of wine and im feeling sorry for myself so here goes.My brother was killed in a motorbike accident,my mum died of cancer,my nephew was knocked of his bike and killed,My niece and nephew were killed by their dad,my sister died of cancer then my dad died.Surely i must have the unluckiest family ever?

[annie0000]

I guess what you meant though was the opposite and did I worry about their safety? I do, but just the same as any parent. Despite the tragedy's, you also have to give your children enough room to grow otherwise they will resent you for it when they are older. It will be harder in your case, because the tragedys have involved the children. I guess that you have to look at it objectively and say that are you or your partner likely to harm your child? statistically how likely is it that another child in your family would come to harm? The odds must be absolutely phenomenal. I wish you all the best, and although it is s cliche, time is a great healer, but I can now think about my brother and laugh at some of the things he used to do - it is just as well, because my older son looks so like him it is uncanny.

[annie0000]

Hi I am 41.

[annie0000]

I know what you mean about Bright Eyes, that song was out when my Granny died - my first encounter with death other than the odd hamster.

[hau kola]

What i think i mean is,i cant help thinking whos next.
Im really frightened about something happening to my daughter.I dont wrap her up in cotton wool,like you say,she would rescent me.Ive got to the stage where if i hear a siren,i have to phone her to check shes ok.

[lindapinda]

Hi Kola,I think that we all have our own private tragedies,but,it does seem that some families have more than their fair share of heartache. Life is too hard at times. Hope things improve though xx

[hau kola]

Thanks linda.
annie,im 42,i think we`re far to young to have gone through all this.

[bigmamma]

I can't listen to "How do I live without you " as that was playing in the taxi on my way home after losing someone.

[annie0000]

How old is she?

It is only natural to worry though. it is hard not to assume that you have something awful everytime you get a cough or feel under the weather. All you can do is take care of yourself as best you can. All the deaths from cancer, heart attack and stroke in my family have all involved smokers, and we don't smoke - so that makes me feel a bit better - we try to have a healthy lifestyle and make wise safety choices, but my 6 year old is mad on motorbikes and says he is getting one when he grows up - only 11 more years left to change his mind. At the moment my kids are the only ones in the street to wear helmets and reflective jackets everytime they are out on their bikes, I am sure that it will not be too long before they refuse to wear them.

[hau kola]

Shes nearly 14.Shes a sensible kid and understands what ive been through.Shes been through enough herself.I had my first bereavment when i was her age,shes had 4 already.
Bigmamma,sending you hugs.xoxoxox

[annie0000]

Can't say I feel particularly young - lol
i think that it has definitely affected my personality. i am no way as easy going as I was. I also think that I can be quite cold and unemotional at times - I think that it is kind of a self preservation thing, if I don't get too involved or feel too much, it will hurt less...or something like that anyway. i like to keep things with new people that I meet on a very superficial level. I have met many really nice people over the last few years, but I would call them acquaintences rather than friends, because i don't really like to get emotionally attached to new people. I guess that sounds really sad. God help me if mr annie ever decides to go his own way, I could not see myself forming any kind of close relationship with a new person.

[bigmamma]

Thankyou sweetie , for you too ((HUGS)) xx
For annie too ((HUG)) xx

[annie0000]

Cheers big mamma - hugs back - I am going to take my hug off to bed - 7 year old has rugby practice at 9.15 tomorrow and after it we are off to see their last remaining grandparent - my mum!

[hau kola]

annie,im exactly the same,cold and unemotional.When friends suffer a family loss,eg my friends Grandad a few months ago,i must have seemed like a heartless cow.Of course i said how sorry i was but,its as though ive been through it so many times it just seems run of the mill.Its so hard to explain what i mean but i expect you can relate to what im saying.

[annie0000]

Exactly - I think that it is perfectly normal (either that or we are both for the loony bin!) as I said I think that it is self preservation. I have to be careful though, my sons teacher commented that his face is emotionally flat, I think that he must watch me when he is around - I try to be as animated as possibel when I am with them now.

[hau kola]

Hmmm...yes,the loony bin.Take care.x

[bigmamma]

Night night annie :-) xx
I might head off up to bed now too hau kola so I will bid you nighty night as well :-) xx

[hau kola]

Sleep tight Bigmamma.x

[enotrapfodne]

Well rot in hell with them all whiff as you will do one day and you will see corrine, ruskie , i love, a,buser hau kola, and many more of yours that I cant be arsed to say so see you in hell looser and I will be flying the flames upon you

[nutgoneflake]

Gosh - what to say? Just lots of love and good thoughts to you and annie, for what they're worth, from me xxxx

[legend758duo]

hope youre ok kola x