Depressed Grandparent

[Sasha13]

One of my Grandparents, I believe, is suffering from clinical depression. They don't leave their house and don't socialise with any neighbours. They have been poorly recently but refuse to visit the doctor saying 'What's the point?'. They also get stroppy when it is suggested that they are depressed - probably that generation I know, but doesn't make it any easier.

Has anyone been in this situation before? What did you do? How did you persuade them that they needed help/help was available?

Thanks for any ideas!

[theonlyone]

How about ringing their GP , explain the situation and get him to do a home visit ,or maybe the Community Nurse .

[beryllium]

Hi Sasha,
Are they managing to keep the house tidy?
Are they managing to feed themselves properly?
Did they used to socialise before they got unwell?

What answers are they giving you when you suggest they're depressed?

[LoftyLottie]

Unfortunately GPs. Community nurses or Social Services won't visit unless your Grandparent is in agreement. It is against the law.

Yes, I have been in this situation on many occasions with an elderly relative. In has been a nightmare. You will have to try different methods.

Don't suggest that they are depressed. Perhaps ask them if they are feeling OK. Try saying that you are very concerned about them because they look so under the weather and you would feel better if they agreed to see the doctor and perhaps get a 'tonic'. Old people were brought up with the idea of 'tonics' being the answer to everything.

You could try making an appointment with your own GP and telling them how worried you are and what they would suggest. Some GP's can be more cooperative than others.

[dot.hawkes]

Is it possible they have already seen a doctor and been given a diagnosis and they are on medication? This might explain the change in their personality and bahavior. If they are used to coping alone, they will carry on doing so.

[shanx]

i have got an old aunt that reads all the side affects and wont take any off it , shes as fit as a butchers dog , lol i have got more problems than her , but love her to bits

[Sasha13]

Hi

Thanks for all your answers.

When I suggest he's depressed he says 'he'll behave himself in future' (I think he thinks that we just think he's being grumpy).

The house is kept tidy but as he lives alone he doesn't cook that much for himself.

I'll mention the 'tonic' idea LoftyLottie - thanks. The problem is he really has an issue with 'bothering doctors' - even when there is something physically wrong with him. No matter how much I try to convince him that that is what they are paid for, he doesn't like doing it. That being said, he's going to see one tomorrow (he finished chemo a little while ago and he's still very weak from it - another reason he can't get out and about much and this, of course, is making him feel even worse). I told him to ask the doctor when this weekness is going to subside and I think he will. Trouble is, he'll be all cheerful in front of the Doctor so they don't stand much of a chance of picking up on it!!

[daffy654]

Why don't you ask him if he would like you to go to the doctor with him? You could say that because he is so weak it would make you feel better if he didn't go alone.If he agrees you could politely tell the doctor your concerns.

[Sasha13]

Hi daffy

That's a really good idea - thank you. I can't go tomorrow as I live 300 miles away (and he has a friend taking him to the doctor), but he'll be going again at some point and I'll try to get there.

Thanks again.