Depression

[raysparx1]

Has anybody on here had really bad depression, I don't mean a bit fed up or p!ssed off, but proper depression, The reason I ask is, that nearly 3 years ago a good friend of mine commited suicide and it was revealed that he had had depression for 3 years, I never knew, I feel a bit guilty still because I feel i should have noticed, are there any tell tale signs? any advice please because I would hate for this to happen again and I never knew. thanks,Ray

[smudge]

Thank you Ray. -xx-

[raysparx1]

Thank you again China, you have desribed 100% what my mate was like, always happy,laughing,joking out for meals planning his future, then wallop, we were out for a meal and he was talking about going on holiday with us and then we went back to his house ,he asked me if I would go and work for the place he was manager in and it was all sorted, and then he had gone, whenever I see his wife now I feel so sad for her, so many plans, so many things they were going to do, his daughter getting married,two sons happy and working, maybe he felt he could do no more,,, thanks again China, take care and stay happy forever, thank you for being so honest. XX

[smudge]

Agree with CD.

Although I've had bouts of depression, I've also been the 'strong one' & helped many others in & outside of work. Lots of people think I'm the life & soul, a happy go lucky, positive person - I can be, but can also hide my 'down day' feelings, so as not to burdon others! -xx-

[smudge]

* burden

[raysparx1]

thanks again smudge, good to talk eh, take it easy smudgie xx

[plowter]

Remember that when someone is suffering from a mental illness, including depression, they may not see the world as they do when they're feeling 'normal'.

Have a browse through the MIND booklets on Depression and How To Help Someone Who Is Suicidal.

Make time for your friends.

[plowter]

... sorry, that link should be How To Help Someone Who Is Feeling Suicidal

[smudge]

Thank you plowter - saved them to my fav's.

I'm sure they'll make very interesting reading later & to send them to anyone who may be suffering with depression - you never know.

[Lonnie]

Hi Ray,
So sorry about your friend, and I understand totally what your going through,

I can't add more than has already been said, (ignore eybrows).

I suffered a really bad bout some years ago, and at one stage, my dear wife locked herself in the bedroom, the memory still scares me,

Suicide?, its so easy to go that way when depressed, bit it really is hard for someone outside the family to realise whats happening to the person involved, and even then only sometimes.

The thing here is, don't blame yourself for not realising, its almost impossible.

Take care, and I wish you well.

[raysparx1]

Thank you Plowter and Lonnie, I know I said it before but thanks to your replies I now have a slightly better understanding of this very sad thing, hope you never go down that road again, Lonnie, take care all, and thanks once more, Ray

Lonnie, please do the usual, thank you,

[cuddleMe]

hi Ray

i suffer from Depression for over 10 years!! and every day i do think about ending my life, then i think why should i do it? because its not going to solve anything but it would solve how im feeling inside, its just like self harming, if u are angry about something you hurt yourslf then you will feel better. or people who drink loads to make them feel better or take drugs.

i cry meself to sleep everynight or when no one is looking, sometimes its so hard to keep it inside you , you'll just burst out crying infront of everyone. i did it once i was having a really bad time, but a friend of a friend said i just wanted some attention, my best mate told his mate to shut it, cos he knows i suffer from it. from then i never talk about my problems, but he was understanding and we always there for each other, but now hes working in manchester :( if he werent gay then he would have been my soul mate.

but before that i never talked about it because i dont want anyone to know that i am very fragile and sad inside. all my mates from high schoo to college never thought i suffer from depression cos i hide it so well, i always try to block it by being happy smiley and being cheerful, thats what all my mate sees in me as ac heerfull likkle person. im always listening to all my mates problems (which ma\tes it worse but i bite my lips ) and i am always there for them, but when i wanted to talk to them with my problems they either never there or dont want to know, so i jus keep it inside me. its prob one of the major problem is being able to be open with ppl.

i was referred to see a counciler by my consultant when i was 14 but after two sessions i quit cos it wasnt getting anywhere it just made me worse!!!

cont...

[cuddleMe]

continue....

i cant help the way i think, but there are times i dont like gettin too close to ppl i just wantedto b left alone, but there are times where all u want is just someone just to hold you and say everything will be fine but it never happens. there r times i think no one wants me here, they r just using me.

if that person comes along and manage to make me happy at least 50% it would b a bonus,although deep inside my depression will never go away, but at least i know who to turn to.

when i was at uni, i always wanted to go out clubbing every single night because it helps to block out my problems! when i'm really angry, hurt and feeling really low i tend to do something i shouldnt really do, but i only do it cos i want that feeling coming out, it does work in a way (not all the time)but afterwards you regret what you have done. i am full of negative thoughts, because when i think positive it always turns to dust. i snap at ppl for no reason, i do things to hurt others as a revenge without me realising what im doing, then later i regret what i did,but at the same time its a releif. i dont know what to do because im feelin really down most of the time and i just want to end it. but i always think, one day i will be happy and i want to experience that feeling, but im still waiting..... but it may never come.

[Bathsheba]

Ah bless you, cuddleme. Are you being treated for your depression at the moment? I do hope so. The way I see it, it's a chemical inbalance in the brain, + if anti-depressant medication can correct that, then take it. Just like diabetics need insulin. I do so feel for you xx

[raysparx1]

Hello CuddleMe, Wish I could pull you through the screen and do as your name says, I really do hope you can find happiness and contentment soon, and you can live happily forevermore, I have a tear in my eyes at your words, please keep talking and never ever let it get that bad you do harm yourself, god bless and take care, Ray

[cuddleMe]

Bathsheba
no im not being treated, my doc dosnt know, when ever i see them im always smiling etc ive heard anti depression does not help and makes it worse. i knew two ppl who was on prozac but they got worse, one is left with panic attacks all the time, but she has her bf so hes always there her.

[Bathsheba]

Hi again CuddleMe. Please go to your gp and tell him/her everything you've just said here. SSRIs affect everyone differently, and you may have to experiment with them a little, but I promise you there are many many people for whom they have been a lifesaver. Literally. Bath x

[China Doll]

Two things that don't work are ignoring it and thinking that someone else will be your saviour cuddle me. The best thing you can do is see your GP.

[smudge]

Ah, bless your heart cuddleme - I'm glad you could share your thoughts with Ray & us lot on here.

Counsellors are 'sounding boards' & if you weren't happy talking to them face to face, writing down your thoughts & sharing them with us will help you unload all those little demons & make you realise that you're certainly not alone.

We're always here for you.

Arms around you. -xx-

[cuddleMe]

thanks guys :)
i dont think i can go get help because i dont want to talk about it or go through it again its too painful.

but i will imagine all the warm hugs to reality :)

http://www.depressionalliance.org/

[4GS]

Absolutely agree with Bathsheba
If you 'bottle up' your problems then instead of going away they increase, then you 'bottle up' more and they increase more. Eventually you will overload and do something silly, perhaps as silly as Ray's friend.

Please please get help cuddleMe
There are a lot of good therapists out there who can help. Just talking about your feelings (I take it they are feelings, like being in a dark hole you can't escape from) can help release the bottled up emotions in a safe manner