depression

[Weaver]

The person that I love the most is going though a really hard time in life. Things that no young person should have to go though. He was doing very well, and keeping good spirits about it, but thing have taken a bad turn for the worse, and he has become very depressed. It seems as though he's shutting me out now. i have tried both talking to and being with him, and I have also tried to give him some time and space, but neither have worked. I think one reason why he doesn't want to listen to my advice is because I have been lucky in life, and have never gone though anything horrific, so it is hard for me to relate with him on certain things and feelings that I wish I could. Can anybody give me any good advice on how bring his spirits up, and give him hope again. I am really scared for him.

[Moog]

I'm sorry to hear about you situation Weaver, having experinced both sides of depression I can sympathise with you. What I was advised is that depression is a treatable illness caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain. This can be treated with drugs. Of course the drugs won't alter the events happening in a person's life that are triggering the depression but they can restore the chemical inbalance and allow people to better cope with these situations. There's more advice here http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/000604.html but I would suggest a visit to his GP. I have to say I was initially sceptical of this advise and am certainly not an advocate of anti-deppresion drugs, but I have seen it work.

[Wraith]

My friend went through a very bad period of depression. I tried not to be judgemental about any of her problems and was always there for her. I offered opinions on her situation and little words of advice occasionally.
Some of her other friends had the attitude of 'Pull yourself together and snap out of it', but these only infuriated her more and gave her the feeling that she had no one to turn to. By being there for her and sticking by her, even when she shouted at me or was abusive, I was able to help her through.
She took anti-depressants to help, but when she felt good about herself she stopped taking them and fell straight back into depression.
She sorted it all out by addressing each of the issues that caused her depression. She was able to talk about these issues with myself and a councillor.
At the end of the day she had to decide for herself that something was wrong and had to take the first steps to address the problem.

[verbiphobe]

The difficulty with depression is denial. Most sufferers won't admit that they have depression for fear of being branded "mentally ill" or worse. Moog is right;depression is responsive to medication. The problem is getting the sufferer to a doctor.Most doctors can provide literature on the subject. If you can persuade your friend to read about the subject he may realise that depression is a very common, easily treated medical condition. Best of luck.

[RevShirls]

There are different types of depression. Some depression is caused by chemical imbalance and often requires medical treatment/medication. There is also another type of depression that is caused by unresolved anger. Often we misdirect our anger. Sometimes we direct it towards others (and sometimes towards the people who are not the cause of our anger - often the people we love the most), and sometimes we internalise it - turning it in on ourself because we don't know how to deal with it. It can manifest itself as depression. Sometimes we can bottle so much up that it is difficult to unravel the different threads and identify the original anger(s). Has this person that you love so much spoken to someone such as a doctor. It may be that he really needs to talk to someone more impersonal (like a doctor, psychologist etc)

[Weaver]

Thanks guys for all your advice. I try it out and hope that it works.

[bb0i]

I am going through Depression myself,, and i do the exact same think as your friend push people away and get snappy at the person that is trying to help,,, I have no answer to give u,,,, but just know that they don't mean what they say,,, and also just be there for your friend no matter what,,,, he/she is very lucky to have u as a friend trust me,,, even he/she snaps at u,, for even trying to help.... best of luck