bad memories

[bubbles4920]

how can i erase a really awful person from my brain who has hurt me in life and i keep thinking about when i am down?

[Ethel]

You can't.

But what helps is grabbing life, living it to the full, so you have lots of good memories to dwell on.

It's your choice.

[naomi24]

Everyone has bad memories - and all you can do is try to put those memories into a rational context. You have to learn to accept that sometimes people aren't nice, and you can't change them, no more than you can change the past. Try to see this person for what he/she really is - a sad human being. Once you are able to do that, the memories won't be nearly so painful. It's all about accepting things you can't change. Unless you accept it, and, in your mind, put it into its proper context, you will allow this person to continue to hurt you. Keep your chin up, be strong within yourself - and good luck. x

[sara3]

you have to make a determined decision as to whether you're going to let this person spoil every day, on top of what they have taken from your past. have you not already given enough to this person?

look around you and concentrate on the positive things. do you have somewhere to live? do you have kids? do you have your health? anything else is a bonus. be positive and grab some of what life has to offer!

good luck :o)

[bensmum]

Very good advice here bubbles. I have been in a similar position and you just can't let this person carry on affecting how you live now. Sara is so right - concentrate on what is positive in your life. You will emerge from this a stronger person and be able to cope with anything
XX

[Eve]

Visualisation can help.

Imagine in your head a big lockable box or anything that suits and whenever they come into your head then stick the image of them or what they did into the box and lock it and get rid of it and smile that you're taking the control back.

Then think of something nice, what you're achieved in spite of them, think of a happy memory you can replace them with.

[Sachs]

Hi bubbles - Agree with everything said already. You need to make the decision to move on. I did this, had to, made me ill, was eating in to every day of my life. Hope you get peace of mind xxx

[WhiteBear]

hi Bubbles, i was in the same situation for many many months. that person really hurt me. but you will get through it! whats the point dwelling on it?? write that persons name on a piece of paper and burn it. that means that person is no longer in your memory!!

Or.... buy a punch bag (or use a pillow), so when ever youre down give it a big punch!!
or use that person as a dart board lol,
ok, not really a gud advice, but you'll b fine, dont let that person think youre weak. show him that you are stronger than that person and have moved on.

[AniaSM]

I heard that you should imagine this person then let the image fade to black and white then the sound goes to zero then the picture shrinks into the distance. Then that person is unimportant and irrelivant.

[oldmegan]

I had a similar situation. In the end I spoke to a professional. One of the things he said was 'the past is the past, it is gone. It can only hurt you more here in the present, if you drag it back by going over and over it in your brain.' May sound a bit trite, but the more I thought about, the more I realised he was absolutely right. Hope this helps a bit!