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Love or my life or London???
48 Answers
I am 23 and madly in Love.
I have been with my partner for over 4 years and love him to bits. One day I want to marry him and know he feels the same way.
However I've alwasy wanted to move to London-just to experience the life there as so different to rest of England.
I don't know many people there, but have looked on sites and there's plenty of rooms going for rent.
I am a keen writer and actress so thought I could go and try break into that.
I also have savings and bar experience so would hopefully be able to get a job to keep me afloat.
I really want to go there, and want my boyfriend to come with me but he wont. He says he hates it and wouldn't want to.
He says I'm being selfish, and if i go then he will go to spain to live with his mum, and may stay there for good!
I'm really happy with our lives at the moment but feel I really want to do this.
Do I just sit back and let London go buy, but may regret it when older, or do I go and jeopodise my relationship. Our relationship may last, but if it doesn't then I feel I will regret that...
I have been with my partner for over 4 years and love him to bits. One day I want to marry him and know he feels the same way.
However I've alwasy wanted to move to London-just to experience the life there as so different to rest of England.
I don't know many people there, but have looked on sites and there's plenty of rooms going for rent.
I am a keen writer and actress so thought I could go and try break into that.
I also have savings and bar experience so would hopefully be able to get a job to keep me afloat.
I really want to go there, and want my boyfriend to come with me but he wont. He says he hates it and wouldn't want to.
He says I'm being selfish, and if i go then he will go to spain to live with his mum, and may stay there for good!
I'm really happy with our lives at the moment but feel I really want to do this.
Do I just sit back and let London go buy, but may regret it when older, or do I go and jeopodise my relationship. Our relationship may last, but if it doesn't then I feel I will regret that...
Answers
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I agree with the last. I appreciate your dilemma and you clearly love your boyfriend very much. However, its also clear to see what this opportunity means to you, and I don,t think you should let this go by. There is no reason why this should spell the end of your relationship, and the way I see it is if you don,t go, then it could prove to be more damaging. This is in the sense that if you do look back with regerts, you may end up feeling a little resentful that you didn,t experince what you wanted. If your love is strong enough and the relationship is meant to work, then it will do. I know it sounds cliche, but there should be a way you can compromise on this, without sabotageing your own wants and needs. Good luck.
me too, crisgal. I live near enough to London and it's no more dumpy than anywhere else; on the other hand, it's got more culture, more history and more life than most other places, as you would expect of a world city. If you think theatre and galleries are only for tourists then by all means stay away; if you enjoy them, then it's worth a try. How about trying it for six months? As for your boyfriend - well, at least you are considering London because you want to live there; he's just considering Spain so he can be back with his mum, which sounds a trifle immature to me.
I think you should defiantly follow your dreams and London is the place to seen in the acting world - you may be the next Catherin zeta Jones � have you been on TV yet � if so will we have heard of the shows??
Yes it is selfish but while you are young go for it � if your relationship is that strong you will make it through your break to London. Good luck with the auditions, break a leg.
Yes it is selfish but while you are young go for it � if your relationship is that strong you will make it through your break to London. Good luck with the auditions, break a leg.
I haven't read other replies as I'm in a bit of a hurry, but I'm sure people are saying the same as me:
You must go. Get it out of your system. If you never do, you will always wonder what it was like, and always resent your boyfriend for not allowing you to go. He is using emotional blackmail to stop you which is childish and horrid.
You must go. But do be realistic. London is not an easy place to be without friends and a job. Could you enrol on a course to do up there, which would give you instant pals and a focus on where to live? Being an actress is no guarantee for a job- you need an agent first and London is full of actresses working in bars.
But do go for it- it is an amazing place, and even if you stay there for a year at least you have broadened your horizons and taken a chance!
You must go. Get it out of your system. If you never do, you will always wonder what it was like, and always resent your boyfriend for not allowing you to go. He is using emotional blackmail to stop you which is childish and horrid.
You must go. But do be realistic. London is not an easy place to be without friends and a job. Could you enrol on a course to do up there, which would give you instant pals and a focus on where to live? Being an actress is no guarantee for a job- you need an agent first and London is full of actresses working in bars.
But do go for it- it is an amazing place, and even if you stay there for a year at least you have broadened your horizons and taken a chance!
I had a big thing about going to London and am very glad I did it but I have to say living and working there is very very different from visiting.
I love London, was full of ideas about what I'd do and see, theatre, exploring, so much stuff.
While I worked there I did sod all as work just overruled everything and I was working ridiculous hours and paying a premium for it.
I decided that life back in Manchester was great, far more settled and better standard of living cost wise. I now go down and visit and have great weekends there doing what I want to do.
I'm all for following dreams but they need to be carefully thought out as well. I was very lucky and worked in central London, lived in places like West Kensington, Hampstead and Belsize Park and was on a good wage with expenses and great people looking after me.
A friend of mine had big dreams of working as a makeup artist in London moved there and was back within weeks as it was just not what she thought it was. I know others who have done the same thing.
My query would be whether you can sustain yourself enough on what you want to do in order to afford a half decent place to live, food, travel and being able to enjoy the place and realise your dream to LIVE there rather than struggle and not be able to do the things you want to and to be able to get to see your boyfriend if he doesn't come.
I love London, was full of ideas about what I'd do and see, theatre, exploring, so much stuff.
While I worked there I did sod all as work just overruled everything and I was working ridiculous hours and paying a premium for it.
I decided that life back in Manchester was great, far more settled and better standard of living cost wise. I now go down and visit and have great weekends there doing what I want to do.
I'm all for following dreams but they need to be carefully thought out as well. I was very lucky and worked in central London, lived in places like West Kensington, Hampstead and Belsize Park and was on a good wage with expenses and great people looking after me.
A friend of mine had big dreams of working as a makeup artist in London moved there and was back within weeks as it was just not what she thought it was. I know others who have done the same thing.
My query would be whether you can sustain yourself enough on what you want to do in order to afford a half decent place to live, food, travel and being able to enjoy the place and realise your dream to LIVE there rather than struggle and not be able to do the things you want to and to be able to get to see your boyfriend if he doesn't come.
In a nutshell...London will always be there (unless Boris Johnson annexes it to NYC to create an uber-capitol)...your boyfriend won't.
Yes-the excitement of London will be amazing-but that will quickly wear off. And excitement is not an even exchange when you take into condsidideration the cost.....you had better have a nice little nest egg to finance your dream, because everything COSTS in LONdon. My daughter goes to Uni in London,,,but comes home to the West Country to shop and go out drinking......even with coach fare home it is less than she would spend there!
Take a chance on love...and if it doesn't work,London will still be there to tempt you. A love lost can be a bigger regret.
Yes-the excitement of London will be amazing-but that will quickly wear off. And excitement is not an even exchange when you take into condsidideration the cost.....you had better have a nice little nest egg to finance your dream, because everything COSTS in LONdon. My daughter goes to Uni in London,,,but comes home to the West Country to shop and go out drinking......even with coach fare home it is less than she would spend there!
Take a chance on love...and if it doesn't work,London will still be there to tempt you. A love lost can be a bigger regret.
As you see jenni, there are for and against here. I've lived in London for several long months, and loved it - but that was because I was with friends, so there was no lonliness or struggling to keep a roof over my head. Why not go for a holiday, say for a month, just to get the feel of the place, and see if you're attracted enough to move there on a more permanent basis? The thing is, if your bf loves you, he'll allow you this space, but just remember that there are dozens of budding actresses and writers, and only a few ever make it. I see your dilemma, but I think your bf fears losing you, therefore threatening to go to Spain if you leave. Do what your inner self tells you, but if this guy's truly the love of your life, you'll kick yourself if you lose him. x
I can well believe that pasta - but of course, the English accent seems to attract over in the US, and I personally find American folk very friendly anyway.
London's still seen through the eyes of the romantic, but like any capital city, it can be a hard and cold place. I'd suggest to Jenni that if her aspirations still matter as much as her bf does to her, that she submits her work to publishers/tv/radio concerns, joins a dramatic group to see if she shines and gets noticed - but stays where she is, with the love of her life.
London's still seen through the eyes of the romantic, but like any capital city, it can be a hard and cold place. I'd suggest to Jenni that if her aspirations still matter as much as her bf does to her, that she submits her work to publishers/tv/radio concerns, joins a dramatic group to see if she shines and gets noticed - but stays where she is, with the love of her life.
When I met mt future Husband in 1974 he was over here on a short break from living and working in New York where he had been for 3 years. We fell in love very quickly and he told me he was going back, I said as much as I loved him I would never leave this country, long story short we were married for 33 years always lived in our lovely Lancashire 2 children and 3 Grandkids and I lost him 7 weeks ago. Do what you think best but never regret>
Mamyaxxx
Mamyaxxx
Hi mamaya xx
WEll jenni so much advice and a tough decision for you . I do think your bf is giving u an ultimatum by going to Spain. However you are young and need the opportunity to follow your dreams now before you are tied down, Only you know what is most important to you most. They do say if you love someone let them go if it was meant to be they will come back to you. I dont have any views on whether you should go or stay. ?You need to listen to your heart and your head and do what you feel is right.
Good luck xx
WEll jenni so much advice and a tough decision for you . I do think your bf is giving u an ultimatum by going to Spain. However you are young and need the opportunity to follow your dreams now before you are tied down, Only you know what is most important to you most. They do say if you love someone let them go if it was meant to be they will come back to you. I dont have any views on whether you should go or stay. ?You need to listen to your heart and your head and do what you feel is right.
Good luck xx
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