Want to lose two stone for christmas.

[flobadob]

Can anyone give me some helpful advice. I want to lose around two stone so that I can have a nice gluttonous christmas without feeling too terrible in the new year. The thing is I don't want to give up any snacks and I don't want to have to cut down on my portions or eat salads and stuff. Furthermore I do not want to do any exercise of any sort. Thanks in advance for any tips, bearing in mind my afforementioned conditions above.

[Drisgirl]

Dont ya just hate it when the poster of the thread doesnt have the common decency to respond -ignorence IMO

I always follow my threads and have input -its called manners,

[Lil O'lady]

But then again Dris - do you think this post was for real?

[yummymum]

my friend went for colonic irrgation and lost 1/2 stone straight away...try that. i dont see how you going to keep the weight of without changing your diet and exercising though. Do you drive? if you do try walking places instead it worked for me after i had my second child.

[yummymum]

oh forgot to add, if you drink a large glass of water before you eat a meal you tend to eat less and the water is good for you anyway x good luck

[pastafreak]

Some people can't recognise a wind-up even it is right under their nose....either that-or they don't bother to read things thoroughly.

[sara3]

she could drag herself back to her pc on her stumps, just to say thank you.

some people have no manners!

[tess20]

Hi Flobolob, I personally think this is a joke, so why not cut off your head & lose 10lb of ugly fat straight off!!!

[flobadob]

Sorry Drisgirl, but we can't all sit around reading Answerbank til half 3 in the morning. Furthermore to all the sexist women out there who automatically presume I am a woman, then shame on you. And thirdly I thought that the content of the post made it completely obvious that it was indeed a bit of a joke, I mean, come on, no diet and no exercise, jees.

[sir.lung]

After having my legs and bowels removed I lost at least 3 stone. But its not all roses bieng in a wheelchair hooked up to a colostomy bag that drips my own faeces over me. I woke up today and there was dried excrement all over my face. I took a lot of picking off. Im so alone in this cold flat

[flobadob]

It shouldn't do that, my father had one and he got on ok with it. You should ask your doctor to have a look at it, it might just need tightening.

[Drisgirl]

Tube- i dont sit on AB until 3.30am -if you knew anything at all then you would have read that I am currently part of a 24hr rota to help a very sick neighbour so she doesnt have to go into hospital.

Plus -what kick/throb do you get posting what was not obviously a wind up.

Think you should get a life pal.

[Drisgirl]

O having read back the sarcy posts which were interspected with genuine ones I just wish i sooooooo didnt take posts at face value and i was half as astute as some of the cynics on AB.

[Velvetee]

Most people who are on a healthy eating plan and also partaking in regular exercise, can expect to lose 2-3 pounds per week. We have about 6.5 weeks until Christmas, so at the most you could probably lose up to 15 pounds, just over a stone.

So as you are not willing to change your lifestyle and eating habits, as others have said, you do not have a hope in hell of losing an ounce. The only way you could lose 2 stones, is by perhaps removing a limb.

[flobadob]

There seems to be an unhealthy ratio of apotemnophiles on this site. And, yes, I did have to look that up. I have to admit some guilt toward drisgirl here but I thought it was obviously a bit of a joke. A bit like saying I want to get a degree in law and medicine but don't want to go to university or read any books. Apologies anywho.

[ChuckFickens]

people who have their limbs cut off for sexual pleasure.

Errrr, freaks in other words.

[flobadob]

I don't think its always for sexual pleasure now, in fairness, just general freakiness. Anyway, it not an option at the mo.