What a pity you're not in the UK. If I'm to believe the ads in some phone boxes, there are plenty of young ladies here who offer specialist services related to warming gentlemen's cold bums. (Perhap's 'Miss Whiplash' might have a cousin who works in your area?)
Perhaps if he just pats his own cheeks he'll get the desired effect.
I reckon you must have a circulatory problem Leggy - it's far too warm over there to get a cold bum!!