Work/home balance

[Squitty]

I used to be employed and used to be able to switch off work at 5.30. I have now been self employed for 15 years & cant remember what its like to finish work for the day. For the whole of last year I tried to chill by taking lots of time out - weekends away etc - it made me feel really lazy & grumpy. Question is what else can I do to stop feeling guilty that I am not working all the time.

[Ethel]

I know exactly how you feel, having had my own business and now I work from home.

It is very difficult, especially if you are committed to your business or get a buzz out of it.

If you find the answer, let me know

[Squitty]

Thanks Ethel - funny thing is I can remember leaving work at 5.30 but cant remember what I used to do with all of that time & it wasnt watching telly.

[jno]

ask yourself why you work. Are you fulfilling your aims?

If you just like working, and don't like taking a break, why stop? As your own boss you don't have to.

I used to be employed; now I'm not, and I love it. It takes all sorts. You don't have to try to make yourself like me if you don't want to. I'm not going to try to become you.

[Squitty]

Thanks jno - I was working too hard and gained a lot of time by working smarter, I then found I was wasting a lot of it watching TV etc so decided to stop watching TV - I havent found another interest that fills my hours but I do find I still feel guilty that I am not doing something productive. (example I have just stopped taking a daily paper because I was 'wasting about an hour each day reading it!

[Ethel]

I was able to divert myself from work by studying - you can study anything you like. I did business studies at first, then some computer courses and a law degree. All work related in a way, so satisfying and interesting.

If I were able to get out and about more I would consider a photography course; deafness makes a language course impossible for me, sadly, but there are lot of courses you can do to usefully occupy yourself. It is important to have time away from work but that doesn't mean your time has to be 'wasted'. If you did history, geography or ancestory, for example, you could make it relevant to weekends away.

I also found voluntary work different and very rewarding. It can be as little as 2 hours a week so doesn't have to gobble up your life.

[Velvetee]

My Fiance has also had his business for 15 years and I honestly don't think he's ever had a holiday in all that time.

He works Monday to Saturday and even on his Sundays off, he always finds something work related to do. We're getting married in April and I doubt we will have a Honeymoon, if we do, then I know he'll be on the phone for most of the time.

I guess when it's your own business, it is like your child and switching off is difficult, if not impossible. I'm sorry, I don't know what the solution is, but to say you are lucky you are able to recognise that you need time off and take it. Just try to relax and enjoy it.

[jno]

the solution might be to delegate? But that's only if you want a solution - ie you think there's a problem. If I was on honeymoon and my husband was constantly on the phone to work, I'd think there was a problem - but he presumably wouldn't. As far as I'm concerned, you work to live, you don't live to work, but I know not everyone feels that way.

Who tells you you're 'wasting' time? Your parents? (Seriously - maybe they brought you up that way.) What would actually happen if you binned your mobile and went to Mongolia for a week? Is it that you don't like your own company so you don't want to be on your own away from familiar surroundings? (I mean your own companionship rather than your own business.) Are you afraid your business will collapse if you don't attend to it 24/7? Have you simply got nothing else that interests you?

If you're happy, it doesn't really matter. You could say it's lucky you like your job; thousands don't. The only possible downside I could see is if your business did fail in these tough times and you didn't have any fallback, nothing else you enjoyed spending time on, you could find it very hard to adjust. But if you're happy, don't knock it!