getting over it - help pls

[minimonkey]

I just split up with my boyfriend of 2 years - we lived together in my house - he left yesterday for a new town 300 miles away and seems really happy. Trouble is i miss him like hell, cant stop crying and hate being here as everything reminds me of him. i dont think i will ever see him again and the thought is killing me....how can i get over him like he has got over me? help!!

[Velvetee]

It seems you placed more importance on the relationship, than he did. Has he met someone else?

Unfortunately, you won't just get over him like that, it will take time. Try to busy yourself and find new interests, go out with friends and visit family. It's important you are able to talk to people and not just sit in alone grieving for your lost relationship.

If you are able to move, the do that, if not, then make little changes around the home, that won't be so familiar as to when he was there with you.

Good luck

[shaunzy]

awww bless you, I agree with what velvetee said. it deffo seems like u valued the relationship more than him. It will take time to get over him, it prob seems like you're never going to get over him at the moment but time is a great healer. I know that from experience.
take care x

[singapore54]

He'll be hurting as well maybe he just hides it better than you do. You need to call some mates and If they are good mates they'll help you get over it.
Been there myself and its vile the other two are right takes time.

[Sasha13]

Buy this book... it's really useful.

http://www.randomhouse.com/broadway/breakup/it scalledabreakup.htm

[Silvercat]

You are bound to be hurt and missing him right now, but just keep in mind that you will not be hurting forever.

A year from now you will be getting on with life I promise you.

Now get out there and enjoy yourself, spit the world in the eye

[Eve]

It's so hard but you will get there in time and the distance might actually help.

I split with my ex in July and moved out in October by which time he was seeing someone else and it hurt like hell especially with the facebook stuff before I took him off about them and seeing other stuff on mutual friends' pages like them going on holiday and her being introduced to his family and them being tagged in photos.

There's always the chance of bumping into him (or them!) as we don't work far from each other.

Things will make you sad but in time, get better. I went to Morrisons today for the first time since we split (daft, i know, but we shopped there together every sunday) and I actually enjoyed being there without the hassle of him being with me :)

There will be so many different emotions, hurt, anger, even harder ones to admit like hurt pride as he moved on first and so quickly. But they are quite normal and only human and you need to give them time to get them out of your system.

[tiggerblue10]

Hav you got any friends you can be around at the moment. If you have, go and stay with them for a few days. If the are good friends they will help you get over it.

[Silvercat]

Ester-Ami

Believe me I know how it feels, but at the grand old age of 53, I do know that you do manage to get over these things, but it hurts like bloody hell at the time.

[Sachs]

Sometimes people can hurt you, it happens.

[joko]

you do need to spend a bit of time' grieving' and 'wallowing'...
its no use trying to plaster on a smile an force yourself to go out an do stuff when you really dont want to...
it doesnt really help...
spend a short period doing this if you can, crying etc, get it all out your system etc...write it all down as a letter perhaps - but dont send it!!....
talk to your mates etc...
and in a week or 2 you will begin to WANT to go out and do stuff... and you wont just spemd the emntire time thinkin about him and holdin back the tears

[jaydj]

yeah some good advice there as i know the feeling!
Jenna1978 is right about Facebook making it hard with ex's.. its bloody evil...I have been there!
Good luck minimonkey, you will get through it

[minimonkey]

thanks - my mates have been great but i fear i am boring them with my misery....also have tonnes to do at work and cant concentrate so that is slipping - actually felt like i might be having a mental breakdown...i know all the logiacl stuff about time healing etc. just feels rubbish right now. think i might delete him off facebook as i cant take that when it happens!!

[Sasha13]

Ah yes, the Facebook Ex torture. Been there done that. More than once. Unfortunately one of my ex's hasn't changed their privacy settings, so even though I'm not friends with him anymore, I can still see his profile/pictures of him with his new girlfriend on holiday. Have just about now started to resist the temptation of looking everyday. Why do we do it to ourselves??? It's not like looking makes us feel better!!!

[jaydj]

Sasha13... I totaly agree with you on the facebook thing..
Im down to only looking once a week now (was like every day).....I think its human nature, like picking a scab or scrathing an itch or looking at a car accident, we know we should not do it but still do!

[Ice.Maiden]

Aww...minimonkey!!!
Well ladies - I really think there's only one way to get over these type of horrible things - break completely free. resist all remptation to see what the ex is up to. get out, get drunk - whatever - and be determined to find someone who's really worthy of you. xxx

[cazmataz]

hey minimonkey

I went through a very hard break up with my ex after 7 years together. I have a few pieces of advice.

Try to focus on you. Think about the things you want in life - i.e job, life, friends, holidays and start changing things there. Its important to remember that in order to get over someone...you need to WANT to get over them. Only You can help yourself.

I read a book called 'Better Single Than Sorry' by Jen Schefft. I is a great book and made me realise that i had so many opportunities open to me.

You also need to ask yourself (and be brutally honest) - why did the relationship not work out. I think you'll find that if you put things in perspective and stop remembering the great times - you will realise you can probably do better and you weren't right for each other.

Be positive and your friends will always be there - just try and help yourself more