un happy with funereal director ???

[moomoo56]

I am trying to find out if it is legal or not to actually have windows ina chapel of rest where we went to pay our respects to our brother, who diesd recently,
We had no say in his funereal{ his wife done it all }as we had,nt seen him for a few years,
WHen we saw him, he had dried blood on his head, from post mortem, and was not covered,
The place which was hi s final place was like a tumble down shack !!!
We were absolutely horrified when we arrived to see him.
The place was next door to a community centre in the middle of a street with houses each side, this place was obviously another house being used for the above purpose,
It was plain to see it had rooms set out ,as a house, and and no proper office adjoining the "building"
Can anyone please advise? as we would like to spare anyone else the indignity of this place,
we have since found out that one lady had been removed from there { to another undertaker }after a relative had been to see her, was shocked.
SO if anyone has had a similair experience or has any advice we would be very grateful.

[bednobs]

tbh, i wouldn't have thought that there is a law relating to windows in chapels of rest. I would imagine you could make a complaint to the funeral directors (did you say anything at the time?) Was his wife satisfied with the service she recieved?

[chinadog]

Im sorry for the loss of your brother moomoo. Thats appalling! The only place I can think of to get advice is The Citizens Advice Bereau. Maybe soneone else can advise you further. Good luck.

[moomoo56]

Thanks to you all for your quick replies, and advice , which I have taken on board,
His wife does,nt speak to us, so we dont know about her views on this.
So will keep posted about what I can find out,. thank you all again,.

[Ethel]

There is nothing wrong in using a former house as a chapel of rest - many are just that.
Nor is there anything wrong with having windows.

However, your brother should have been at least clean. When you say he wasn't covered, do you mean he was naked?

Was he in a coffin?

[baileybird]

i watched a programme in the middle of tghe night last night about just this subject - dont ask its a long story!
F/Directors are inspected twice a year by environmental health officers so approach them and inform the regarding the blood issue.
Plenty of chapels have windows in them, and as Ethel says, many houses are used as funderal directors - the one in our village is just that and the last place I would want to send anyone - it is also a bus depot!!!
Sorry you have these problems at a horrid time. XX

[moomoo56]

Hi, yes he was in a coffin, but no , he was,nt naked, i was referring to his head, which should have been covered,{ with respect} due to the state of it !!!
I think we are all aware of what happens at a post mortem, but to be faced with it ,is another matter,!!
We have had several funereals in the last years, and the places have been a very high standard,everything beautifully done right down to the last detail,
I think it is very hard to accept that horrible place was where he ended up, no dignity in that, I can assure you!!All i can say is, thanks you all again, for your advice, and I am glad to have come across this site,

[moomoo56]

hi baileybird, I see you have said that you have a chapel of rest in your village,
The point I was making about the windows is, anyone could just go and look in the room ,where the person is laying as there were 3 windows , all with curtains open , and overlooked as well, !!!
I just could not believe it as every where else we had our family arrangements and buried {as i said before} were immaculate .
I ma sorry to everyone to go on, but I just can not get the place out of my head, and the other person on here did make a good point of asking , was his wife happy with the arrangements???so do our concerns matter? thanks for listening !!

[masma]

I would do as Zacmaster says and get in touch with the National Association of Funeral Directors. If they don't know how poor this funeral director is then they can't do anything about it. We had a similar situation as yours when my mother-in-law died, we rang the NAFD, they were very kind and very helpful. Hope this helps and although you'll never forget this experience in time the good memories of your brother will be at the front of your thoughts and this will fade into the background.

[Ethel]

The NAFD will only assist if this funeral director is a member.

They may be a member of Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors - phone number 0207 267 6777

Funeral directors are unlicensed and membership of any association is voluntary.