Opinions please

[lil75]

My boyfriend and myself have just started living together, we were talking about relationships etc, when I said that in long term relationships/marriages people go through spells of boredom...He is deeply offended and reckons he now looks at me in a different light!!! Reckons that when I go through a bored spell I will end the relationship....ive tried explaining that not everything is fluffy clouds and rainbows but he just doesnt get it!

[jno]

you are quite correct, so keep trying to educate him gently. It sounds as if he is just a trifle starry-eyed.

[Aotearoa]

.....and a little insecure.

[seekeerz]

oh dear, this early in the relationship ??? break it to him gently, lil - I wish you luck

[Mamyalynne]

I think your choice of the word boredom is most at fault here, yes the fireworks recede somewhat and you settle into a more comfortable phase, but I can assure you the sparks can still fly after a long long time. We were together 34 years and our love although mellowed was never ever boring. Good luck in patching this up ,and along and happy future to you both.
(only death parted us but thats another issue entirely)
Mamya xx

[Mamyalynne]

Realise my rather serious tone may have put others off from making a point, I presumed as you had moved in together it was serious is all, and boredom a funny early topic . I am really not a granny gimp.

[seekeerz]

Definitely not, mamy - no-one could call you a granny gimp

[Ice.Maiden]

Awww...it was just an unfortunate word to use. I agree with mamya. I know I haven't been married as long as she happily was, but we've got our 12th anniversary coming up next month. Boredom doesn't come into it if you have the imagination to keep it alive. Getting comfortable together doesn't have to mean it's all downhill. The secret's in being happy together throughout the ups and downs, and if you're mindful of each others feelings, the love just grows deeper.

[Mamyalynne]

Than sekeerz I feel a new and fresh relationship should be full of optimism and looking to the future, yes things alter along the way but thats part of the fun too.

[lil75]

Thanks for your answers...I did say to him maybe I used the wrong word (boredom) what I should have said, were flat spells, its never wonderful all the time, and he has taken it completely the wrong way!!!

[poltergeist]

ya he sounds insecure. a while ago if a girl said it to me i would have reacted similar. how old is he?

[tamborine]

Awwww....that's so mean of you - how can you possibly get bored with your soul mate. And you stop being a pessimist.....you're both so lucky embarking on this union.

[lil75]

Poltergeist, hes 31

Tamborine, not a pessimist at all, just factual.

[888sally888]

I know what you mean lil - I am factual (a bit too much sometimes) and my last partner was very sensitive. I had to be a bit careful how I worded things. I knows its all tosh but I am a headstrong Aries and he was a Cancer at it was a nightmare!!

Just think about how you word things and I am sure you will be fine.

[lil75]

Thanks Sally, Maybe I am too factual to, and will choose my words more carefully in the future! I would rather be factual instead of having my head in the clouds, everything has its highs and lows, which is what differentiates the two

[888sally888]

lol lil - I just barge my way ahead sometimes and I do try and word things more carefully generally now.

At least my family and friends know I will be honest and underneath it all I am a big softy and very emotional!!

[lil75]

No-Knowledge...Onions Please...well funny!

I would never let a stale part continue, I would do something about it!!!

My point was, he just didnt understand what I meant, and was insulted, and said he didnt trust my intentions, when infact I was just being honest, I love him very very much and think he is the most wonderful man I have ever met...would be more than happy to spend the rest of my life with him (Highs n Lows) ....and he knows this, so I didnt understand why he got so wound up over what I had said.

Hope your hangover clears up soon lol

[lil75]

Me to sally, I come across as strong headed, know what I want, voice my opinions, when infact im the same as you underneath it all....just because I come across that way, and dont cry at the slightest thing, it doesnt mean we dont have feelings eh!

[888sally888]

Spot on lil - but I do cry at sad films - dont tell anyone though!!

[lil75]

Lol ;o)