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Really want a baby

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angel21 | 12:03 Mon 18th May 2009 | Body & Soul
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had abortion at 18 (as ex wasn't supportive - one I am seeing again now - due to trouble with his ex and their little girl) and ever since then been broody.

Girl at work is pregnant, all her friends are pregnant, her sister is pregnant, my friend is pregnant, everywhere I go its pregnant people and babies and baby talk, the apprentice tomorrow is to do with babies.

Spending time at work with this girl and spending time with ex and his 7yr old on sunday is not helping.

Perhaps its time to pack job in and move in with mum 50 miles away - that will solve ex and girl at work problem but not broodiness problem.

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Not sure what the question is here, but some questions back to you:

How old are you now?
Are you in a stable relationship?
Can you support a baby?

You don't say how old you are now but you sound quite immature. It's as if you think 'well, if they can have one, I want one'.
This is a lifetime commitment you are thinking of, not just having a baby. A baby soon turns into a screaming 2 year old, then when you have got through that, a school child, then ........ worst of all, a teenager!!!
You should be thinking about a secure and stable relationship in which to raise a child before you even consider it, and then think of what you can offer the child; not what it might give you.
Lastly, running away does not solve problems, standing firm and facing them in a mature fashion would help.
The years will take care of themselves but try to adopt a more mature way of thinking; perhaps with the help of an older friend or relative. I'm sure that you will come to the right decision about this if you give yourself time.
Question Author
I am 21 and I am mature. I realise how much hard work goes into bringing children up. I have known my exes little girl since she was 2 and she is now 7.

It's not a case of I'm going to go out and 5hag a random bloke because i want a baby now cus I know a baby needs stability and a home etc. hence why I had an abortion last time.

It's a case of everyone around me having what I haven't got and the hurt that goes with that
i am 21 and mature?


ehmmmmmmm no youre not.


lol


more nonsense from angel


stick to hair straighteners


yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Doesn't that confirm what I said above?
I want, I want, me, me, me?
Sorry Angel but that's what it sounds like.
Having a baby is a huge decision and, especially as you have the chance to make it in the most mature and responsible way you should make the most of it.

I'd love to have a house of my own but until I'm financially stable and ready for the responsibility of buying my own place, I wouldn't dream of it (ditto with a car...the list goes on...).

I also have a number of friends who are pregnant or just had babies or trying and I would love to start a family but, again, until I have as stable a relationship and financial position and environment, again, I wouldn't dream of it.

Accidents and life does happen but while I have the ability to make the best choices I can I will.

It's not having the baby, it's bringing a child into the world who you will be responsible for for life.

Body clock can be a very influential thing. I'm 30, just out of a relationship and have to say it concerns me as having a family of my own is a very important thing to me but I have to let my head rule my hormones.

I saw it happen to a friend of mine, wanted a baby, the relationship wasn't important. She was fantastic at her job and earning a very good wage. She ended up pregnant and alone in a council house on benefits and has had to move to the other side of the UK due to domestic violence.

She was recently made bankrupt which has ruled her out of a job she'd love along with all the other issues.

She is now expecting again with another guy she's not been seeing long at all.

Don't get me wrong, she loves her little one to bits but even she would admit it's not been easy, in fact she's the first to say how bloody hard it's been.
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So because I have desires and feel hurt that makes me immature?


ok then
I agree with the immature comments. You cant just have a baby because you want what everyone else has.

Where would you bring the baby up? How would you afford it etc..

I just think you need to set your priorities and sorting out your relationship with your ex seems the more important thing to do.

Angel21 - you post a lot of negative posts! How about some positive ones :-)
there will always be pregnant people around, Its just that youre seeing it more as its something youre thinking about.

Is the baby thing a way of escaping a loneliness?
Question Author
I have always wanted to be a mum. Thats the only thing I know I want in life.

If it was just what I wanted I wouldn't have had an abortion, I would have kept the baby but I was actually thinking of the baby having no father around and not being able to provide for it that made me have abortion so I hardly think its about me me me
Not wanting to be flippant here, but people wanting what others have without having the wherewithall is why this country is in such a mess.

People not being prepared to wait until the time is right/they can afford it to get whatever it is that their friends/neighbours etc have.

So, what will you do if you get pregnant and then your boyfriend walks out/you lose your job/you decide you'd rather have a puppy?

Will that be another life chucked away or another child being supported by the tax payer?
Question Author
I'm not saying I am going to have a baby ffs!

I'm saying its so hard not being able to have a baby due to wrong circumstances but yet still wanting one and in the meantime (next ten years or so or never) I have to put up with thoughtless cows like the girl at work and parents and ex upsetting me on purpose and trust me its on purpose!
havny you asked all this before? If you feel that strongly and think they are doing it on purpose, (although dont take this wrong way but I think because of past circumstances you are being a bit paranoid) then perhaps you should move in with your mum if as you said will solve the problem
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yes I know I'm a broken record. Can't help it I'm afraid. Could be like this for ten years or more you see.

Maybe I will do that.

Best thing for me right now would be to get a new job (still nothing on that front) with higher wage so I can afford to rent a flat of my own ( so I can have my much needed privacy) but thats not possible either yet. So may have to move in with mum, wont be ideal as she is 'thoughtless' sometimes too but not too many options here
Angel. If the people around you are upsetting you on purpose, perhaps you are telling them too much of your hopes and dreams, which gives them the opportunity to try to bring you down. There are many women out there who are not able to have a baby for medical reasons, and they are surrounded by other people's babies all the time, but they just have to get on with it and make a life for themselves. You at least still have (at 21) lots of opportunities ahead of you, and I hope that includes the baby you would love to have. Cheer up, love, you don't know what's around the next corner for you, and it could all be good. Best wishes. Schutz.
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Thanks schutz x
-- answer removed --
Was it angel asking whether she should take coke!?

Hmmm
Trigg thats a scary thought mate !!

Fatal attraction ?
Question Author
I do follow vibra. It would be nice right now to be on an even happy keel, but my life isn't panning out that way.

Do need to try and achieve this. Just feel I have so many hurdles to cross til I am happy, secure and able to have a baby.

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