Bossy sister

[Scarlett]

My sister has just got a job in the school where I teach. I helped her get the job. But she is trying to exert her authority by being really bossy, controlling, and putting me down in front of students! I had a go at her and tried to rationally explain that her behaviour needed toning down, and she twisted it around to make it my fault! I am planning on leaving and moving away next year, but how can I put up with her until then? I was happy in my job until this happened. Very grateful for any advice.

[andy hughes]

Your sister is feeling like the new kid on the block, and she is insecure and a little bit scared. Her reaction is to assert herslef to make herself noticed by others, and maker her feel secure in her position. Unfortunately, she is doing this at ytour expense, because this is how she would react in a family situation. Give her time, and as she settles down, and gets to know people, this need for recognition will receede. I know it's a pain, but she will get better with time, and eventually realise what she is doing. If she pesist, have a word with your Head and ask him or her to have a discreet word, leaving you out of the issue personally - saying her bahviour has been noticed by other staff. Your sister may not take a 'leave it' message from you, but she will from someone in authority. It will get better, hang in there.

[apricot2]

I agree with Andy.  Just be really sweet and make it hard for her to pick fault with you.  If she tries to make a fool of you in front of the kids, just make a joke of it to them.  She will tire and need you onside soon.  Hang on in there.

[Roxy]

I too agree with andy's idea, but the bottom line is you helped her get the job. Whatever insecurities she's feeling shouldn't be taken out on you, especially not infront of students, i myself am a techer, and undermining you is unfari and quite frankly rude. Just gently point out that if she has a problem she can eff off and find her own school to work at. The truth hurts, but she might realise what an arse she's bein, and if not; she'll get over it. It was you workplace first, and you should be happy in it.

[Slainte]

I have had the dubious pleasure of working with both of my old sisters (at different times) and both were quite different experiences.  I get along really well with my eldest sister and we worked quite happily alongside each other - mainly because she had worked there for years and I was just happy to watch and learn.

Now my other sister has got a job where I work although thankfully not in close proximity.  We have worked hard over the last year to try and forge a closer relationship (outside of work) and regularly go out for dinner together to chat about things that might be building up - it has helped build a respect for each other that has helped in work, with our friends and at home