how do i find out?

[bubbles4920]

i told a so called trusted friend something in confidence. ive got a feeling though that she has told another of our mutual friends. how can i find out from this mutual friend if she knows? i know, a secret as such should never be told as it is then no longer a secret. what i did tell her however was a life or death situation believe me.

[brenda]

I don't think you can find out without askin g , and then you may end up losing both "friends".
If this was such a life and death matter as you say , why did you feel the need to pass it on?

[Seadragon]

Oh dear, doesn't sound good. If it is a life or death situation I would try damage control as soon as. As Brenda says you will have to ask your mutual friend if your other friend has discussed something about you recently? If she/he says 'no' then maybe your trusted friend did not tell? Otherwise if your mutual friend says that they did say something then you will probably have to tell her/him not to tell anyone else. Either way, I suppose you will know whether your trusted friend is someone you can trust in the future. Good Luck.

[Androcles]

Wait, you'll know soon enough when the excrement hits the fan.

[bubbles4920]

i had to confide in someone so do hope that confidence is kept. ive been thinking of ways of sort of tricking them for want of a phrase, you know what i mean im sure, into telling me they know but cant think of what i would say, ask. i do know that the person i have told has been asked things by others and my friend has said my mouth is zipped or i cant say, so other friends out there do think there is more to it than what has been going on.

[madmaggot]

I thought it was only on the soaps that people make their lives so complicated!
If you need to confide in someone, ring the Samaritans. They will listen to you and it is confidential so there is no chance of the secret getting out. I can't think of any reason that you would 'have to' tell someone else a secret if you did not intend them to do anything with the information.
As you say, once told a secret is not a secret anymore.
My advice would be to keep quiet and hope that both of them do the same; then learn by the experience!