what are the consequences?

[samsworld]

recently found out my husband has been having an affair with a much younger girl. i have confronted her and told her i will inform her parents, i think something which would be mortifying, well it would if it happened to me the shame of it. is there anything wrong or illegal in phoning her dad up at work and telling him just how moralistic his daughter is and how he must have brought her up badly. ive heard all the takes two to tango stuff, ive already dealt with hubby shall we say. i just feel i want closure on this girl and i wont stop til ive done something to ruin her life too, but will this? anyone else done a similar thing out there and if so what were the consequences? wanting to know too if its illegal to do this in case its classed as slander, though who can prove the phone call? after all its freedom of speech and all that isnt it?!

[redcrx]

she probably hasnt really, shes got to live with the fact that he chose you, an older woman, over her.

[mccfluff]

how do you know she has got off scotfree as you put it

and what have her parents got to do with this, grow up!

[ummmm]

She hasn't really done anything wrong...your husband has. You don't know what lies he's told her.

Anyway...you're free to call anyone.

[samsworld]

yes, i know, thats some reassurarance i suppose but i do need closure and this is the only way for me. i cant take the high ground im sorry, just wanted to know as i keep saying if it would be slander when i would be telling her parents the truth.

[redcrx]

this wont be closure. so you call her parents, what do you really think they will do? or her for that matter? Your husband lost his job and you will be causing this to roll on further. How will that give you closure?

[4getmenot]

so you are not with your husband anymore?

[mccfluff]

so so ringing some couple up telling them about her daughter is going to get you " closure"

yeah right keep dreaming

[Kakuro1]

If you think that this act of petty nastiness will give you closure, you are very wrong.

[samsworld]

thanks no likey, i will try to but its difficult, you should try it.

[cherrychapstick]

if you really want closure leave him case closed move on with your life ,you won't have closure by phoning her parents all you really want to do is cause trouble!! she is 28 he wonderfully fluffed around ohhh dear if you have forgave him .......who's next on his list

[samsworld]

hasnt she caused trouble in our lives, my life and i now have to rebuild it?

[ummmm]

She hasn't. Your husband has. Aim your venom at him.

[redcrx]

yes, rebuild your life. Dont go out and start another fight .Youll bring more trouble to your door

[chelle7272]

If you're still carrying this much anger i don't see how you can rebujild things with your husband. Taking it out on her and her family won't stop the way you're feeling about it.

[4getmenot]

if you want to rebuild your life then do so, if on your own make it on your own, if rebuilding it with your husband you have taken that choice to fogive him so you cannot be carrying it all on phoning her parents.

[ummmm]

It's only been 2 weeks.....still very raw.

[B00]

The "girl's" done nothing wrong! She's free to flirt with who she wants. Blame your husband 100% for this for thinking with his willy, as most do.

I posted that ^ all the while knowing you've set your heart on doing what you said you were going to do. However it doing so, you have to take into account any consequences that it may bring. Your husband may see you for what you really are, a spiteful harridan of a woman, who's seeking to hurt a (presumebly) elderly couple who have done nohthing wrong to you.

I won't wish you luck, as its a horrible thing you're doing.

[grasscarp]

Your post starts with What Are the Consequences. All that seems to bother you is if this is illegal. You have already started on your compaign of vengeance by confronting her and telling her that you will inform her parents. You say that they must have brought her up badly. How do you know that. People do what they want to do in the end. Was your husband "brought up badly" as well? If so why did you choose him. Everyone here is telling you that this will not bring any closure and if you want someone to tell you they have done this and it was great and a good idea then in my opinion you are on the wrong website.

[cherrychapstick]

i don't get it ,people post here to get opinions ,i think the majority of opinions here are your husband is at fault don't take your anger out on the woman who was probably told that he had left you !! he is at fault not her you do not and will not ever know the truth ,and as the affair ended 2 weeks ago then i am guessing it din't just happen once fact your husband is a sleaze and should be made to pay for his actions .....how did he lose his job? there is more to this i think and if you are keeping it from the people you are asking to give you advice then there is no point asking ....we are better knowing the full story not only the things you think are important (that she kept coming on to him)