what are the consequences?

[samsworld]

recently found out my husband has been having an affair with a much younger girl. i have confronted her and told her i will inform her parents, i think something which would be mortifying, well it would if it happened to me the shame of it. is there anything wrong or illegal in phoning her dad up at work and telling him just how moralistic his daughter is and how he must have brought her up badly. ive heard all the takes two to tango stuff, ive already dealt with hubby shall we say. i just feel i want closure on this girl and i wont stop til ive done something to ruin her life too, but will this? anyone else done a similar thing out there and if so what were the consequences? wanting to know too if its illegal to do this in case its classed as slander, though who can prove the phone call? after all its freedom of speech and all that isnt it?!

[daftgrandad]

Surely,with 74 answers so far,the question must have been answered
to the satisfaction of the asker.
perhaps she could come on and say thanks all and end a thread,that to say the least,
is becoming tedious.

[jackthehat]

Before you make the telephone call;
1. Write down every single point you wish to make so that it is clear and concise and orderly and there can be no confusion - after all this will come like a bolt out of the blue for this blameless couple
2. Make sure you 'spend a penny' - you wouldn't want to get caught short.
3. Get yourself a glass of wine, an ashtray and your cigarettes (if you smoke).
4. Settle yourself in your favourite chair with all of the above to hand.
5. Then instead of calling this girls parents, dial 08457 90 90 90 and talk to the friendly voice on the other end of the line.........

[cherrychapstick]

LOL @ jack well done ,

[chelle7272]

pmsl @ Jack

[ummmm]

Now I'm going to have to ring that number.....

[bobjugs12]

While we're swapping numbers on here, can I get the 28 year old floozies?

[cherrychapstick]

try and find the free one that one costs up to 2p an minute,her man has lost his job might be a bad idea if she phoned ,she will be there a few hours at least x

[craft1948]

I think you should remember there are 2 sides to every story.
When my first marriage broke down I had an affair with a married man (and no I'm not proud of myself). He caught me at a very vulnerable time and flattered and pursued me until I was stupid enough to start a relationship with him. He offered to leave his wife for me but I turned him down.
When his wife eventually found out I was completely mortified. However they stayed together as he convinced her that I'd made all the running and wouldn't leave him alone which certainly was not the case. He told his wife it was all over and 2 weeks later turned up at my door wanting to resume the affair as I was worth the risk....I told him where to go.
So basically before you do any ringing .......who do you believe?

[yogi-bear]

Nothing to add.....just like the number 89.......reminds me of grandad :0)

[daftgrandad]

Hi yogi,hope you meant your grandad ?
My daughter went to a memorial service yesterday,for her friend and she read out
the poem,albeit with difficulty,as you can imagine.Thanks once again dg

[moonshadow]

samsworld do you also post under the name sunnydaze8 ? similar story same typo

[yogi-bear]

Hi daftgrandad............i did :0)

Glad you posted, as was thinking about when the memorial was, for your daughters dear friend.....lovely poem and bet she read it with feeling, honour and pride.
All the best to you, as ever, dg

yogi :0)

[daftgrandad]

Thanks very much yogi,for your kind thoughts at this time.
My utmost regards to you and your family, dg

[lindzlakeetoo]

Ive been after a married man for 4 years. Whats wrong with that?

[andy-hughes]

OK, to answer your Question - there is nothing illegal about what you propose to do, but there is very much that it wrong with it.

I have three daughters, two are older than the woman (and accept that this is what she is) in this sad story. I accept that my daughters are all grown women, they have partners and children, and I have brought them up to respect themelves and other people.

If someone rang me out of the blue and told me my daughter was having an affair, I would be very hurt and disappointed - and as an innocent party, I would question the caller's motives. My relationship with my daughter would be damaged - even though as an adult, her behaviour is her business, and that would be unfair on myself, my wife, and my family.

Regardless of how we raise our children, as adults they do as they wish - and that includes this woman, your husband, and indeed yoursrelf. Put yourself in the parents' position and think what is really to be gained by hurting them when they have done nothing wrong.

You are very hurt and angry, you want to hit back and have some revenge for the hurt you have been caused. An innoncent person hurting other innocent people can do no good at all. Your anger and revenge (if you wish) belong with your husband, and no-one else.

You will regret this action if you take it. Please think very hard before you do anything.

[sara3]

I (always) agree with Andy.. but surely her poor father would also think "what a fruitcake" and feel sorry for your poor husband.

I also think you don't actually care what is morally right or wrong for you here, you've already decided to act like a fruitcake.

if indeed, any of this is true..

[karenmac60]

You are saying that this woman, at 28, is a stupid young girl. You sound more like a child yourself - 'I'm telling your mum on you'. Grow up and get on with your life. This will give you no satisfation and no closure, and then what will you do? Continue to phone and accuse? Then you can and will be charged with harassment, and no doubt you will continue to blame this other woman when you get yourself a criminal record and your husband leaves you. You say she chased after him - I'm sure that's what your husband told you, just as he will have told her that you didn't understand him and you hadn't slept together for years. That's what married men tell their wives and lovers. Get over yourself woman and stop being so niave!

[k8bailey]

Aren't you a bit too old to be telling tales?!

[cherrychapstick]

but k8 and karen she has morals :s

it's called jealousy that her man is still able to get someone else and no one has tried it on with her or the guy she has tried it on with doesn't want to know

[yogi-bear]

Still nothing to add, as before, apart from this is post 100, so well done :0)

......now it's whether you take a blind bit of notice of what the good folk on here have advised you to do.......or ever come back on here to answer the questions raised.....will you?........hmmmmmmmm